Internal and External
Vacations
I hated summer vacations with the family. Summer has beenwas always my favorite time of year, I just didn’t like the people that came along with it. My therapist says I’m a misanthropist, a pyromaniac, a drunk, and a nymphomaniac. My father can’t agree. He says I just need more time away from volleyball, basketball and track and more “family bonding time”. I didn’t want to bond and I didn’t want to make time for family. I don’t like to bond. I don’t like my family. I don’t like much of anything if we’re being honest. I would rather drown in my thoughts and be surrounded within 4 walls than to have to go out and talk to people. Every year it’s somewhere new. Venice, Brazil, France, Peru. Who knows. I never …show more content…
“You never gave me your name. We walked all the way here and I don’t even know you.” “Alexis.” I lied that quick. After an hour of listening to her, we walked back to the hotel. It was late and my parents called me plenty of times to see where I was. I guess they stopped calling figuring I was sleeping. “So I guess this is where we say goodbye?” she asked me after we made it back to my room. “It doesn’t have to be.” I licked my lips smiling at her hoping that wouldn’t be the only thing I was getting wet that night. “What are you suggesting?” she smiled at me flipping her hair back out of her face. “That you keep me company for a few hours. I don’t like being alone.” there I went again lying. “On one condition.” I hated girls with standards. “What might that be?” I faked a smile. “Tell me my name.” she smiled, figuring I didn’t know it because she never told me. “Alika.” I said pleased with myself. “How could you…” “It doesn’t matter how I know. Now, I guessed your name, so you have to stay.” She smiled at me totally ignoring the fact as to how I could possibly know her name. I opened the door making sure it was just the two of us. I hadn’t had any all summer and what better of a place to get it than in Hawaii? We walked in the room and I started taking my clothes off. Females like her are so vulnerable under pressure. I stepped out of all of my clothes until I was down to my panties and my bra. I walked across the room …show more content…
I knew it would probably hurt in the morning more than it hurts now. But I wasn’t worried about that. All I cared about was not caring. I promised myself I would just flick a lighter whenever I got mad to keep myself calm. Then again I told myself I would stop punching walls, having meaningless sex, and smoking to drown my feelings too. I was only eighteen so I couldn’t just go to a bar. “Carter?” she was way older than me, but the few times we hooked up always left me smiling. “Adrian it’s funny seeing you again.” “Can I ask a favor?” “Sure.” “You’re what, twenty six now? Can you get me some vodka?” “Sure, come on.” After 20 minutes, we pulled up to this corner store. She came out with some Grey Goose Cherry Noir. I forgot how good it felt to be drunk. I didn’t have a care in the world. I couldn’t stop whispering and laughing about stupid stuff. I couldn’t stop being rude and stumbling over my own two feet. I finished a whole bottle on my own. I hated being in a state where I couldn’t completely control what I was doing. But when I was like this, I didn’t feel anything. I liked it like
Vacations
I hated summer vacations with the family. Summer has beenwas always my favorite time of year, I just didn’t like the people that came along with it. My therapist says I’m a misanthropist, a pyromaniac, a drunk, and a nymphomaniac. My father can’t agree. He says I just need more time away from volleyball, basketball and track and more “family bonding time”. I didn’t want to bond and I didn’t want to make time for family. I don’t like to bond. I don’t like my family. I don’t like much of anything if we’re being honest. I would rather drown in my thoughts and be surrounded within 4 walls than to have to go out and talk to people. Every year it’s somewhere new. Venice, Brazil, France, Peru. Who knows. I never …show more content…
“You never gave me your name. We walked all the way here and I don’t even know you.” “Alexis.” I lied that quick. After an hour of listening to her, we walked back to the hotel. It was late and my parents called me plenty of times to see where I was. I guess they stopped calling figuring I was sleeping. “So I guess this is where we say goodbye?” she asked me after we made it back to my room. “It doesn’t have to be.” I licked my lips smiling at her hoping that wouldn’t be the only thing I was getting wet that night. “What are you suggesting?” she smiled at me flipping her hair back out of her face. “That you keep me company for a few hours. I don’t like being alone.” there I went again lying. “On one condition.” I hated girls with standards. “What might that be?” I faked a smile. “Tell me my name.” she smiled, figuring I didn’t know it because she never told me. “Alika.” I said pleased with myself. “How could you…” “It doesn’t matter how I know. Now, I guessed your name, so you have to stay.” She smiled at me totally ignoring the fact as to how I could possibly know her name. I opened the door making sure it was just the two of us. I hadn’t had any all summer and what better of a place to get it than in Hawaii? We walked in the room and I started taking my clothes off. Females like her are so vulnerable under pressure. I stepped out of all of my clothes until I was down to my panties and my bra. I walked across the room …show more content…
I knew it would probably hurt in the morning more than it hurts now. But I wasn’t worried about that. All I cared about was not caring. I promised myself I would just flick a lighter whenever I got mad to keep myself calm. Then again I told myself I would stop punching walls, having meaningless sex, and smoking to drown my feelings too. I was only eighteen so I couldn’t just go to a bar. “Carter?” she was way older than me, but the few times we hooked up always left me smiling. “Adrian it’s funny seeing you again.” “Can I ask a favor?” “Sure.” “You’re what, twenty six now? Can you get me some vodka?” “Sure, come on.” After 20 minutes, we pulled up to this corner store. She came out with some Grey Goose Cherry Noir. I forgot how good it felt to be drunk. I didn’t have a care in the world. I couldn’t stop whispering and laughing about stupid stuff. I couldn’t stop being rude and stumbling over my own two feet. I finished a whole bottle on my own. I hated being in a state where I couldn’t completely control what I was doing. But when I was like this, I didn’t feel anything. I liked it like