Her belief in a Christian God stems from her Uncle Cheong whom she “idolizes beyond sense or reason.” Coaxing her into Christianity, Uncle Cheong told Mei stories about the power of God and His Son -- Jesus Christ -- while convincing her to surrender everything to this God in order to “find something amazing” and obtain “life above the earth.” At this point, Mei becomes Christian to please her uncle. Mei’s belief is soon strengthened in the wake of her grandfather’s death. After being scolded by her mother for not crying for the sake of her grandfather, Mei cathartically goes from a “Christian [on] autopilot” to feeling “the unutterable” kiss of God., Mei realizes that God will always view her as perfect, and others will not see past her flaws. This justifies why people are inherently evil, not God. “For other people, there will always be some flaw in [her] that makes [her] less than perfect.” This inability to view others as God does, to find beauty in everyone, causes humanity to be judgmental toward one another. Further, it causes the evil in the world due to hate of imperfection. Mei concludes that God shouldn’t be blamed for humanity’s faults considering God only judges the evil of humanity -- He does not interfere. Her elohistic God stays away from human interaction until postmortem judgement. Later, in Mei’s adult life, the reader notes Mei’s beliefs seeping through to other …show more content…
With the knowledge that God is the ultimate judge of humanity due to his ability to look directly into a person’s heart, Mei understands the Singapore judiciary system is bound to commit acts of evil due to its lack of this ability., Thus, with Mei’s lack of the Godly power to peer into another human’s heart, devoting her life to the pursuit of justice through law also cannot be fruitful. Instead, she is guaranteed to fail. Admitting to this Mei states “I’m just a lawyer. I don’t do miracles” while she attempts to prove Andy’s innocence. Mei cannot always provide the justice that she wants, but her God can. Ludwig Feuerbach would say that this God is a projection of Mei, but in a better more perfect form. Mei thinks of herself as a worldly provider of justice and thus her God enforces the same justice on a higher order -- the eternal order. Further, Sigmund Freud would argue Mei has this religious viewpoint as a result of her desire for vengeance upon her father. She cannot provide it, so religion acts as an illusory wish fulfilment outlet in which Mei ensures that her father pays for her rape. Mei believes in a vengeful God for it is the only way she can deal with the evils of the world that she cannot provide justice