An Analysis Of 'We' Re Fatter But Not Smarter?

1473 Words 6 Pages
Register to read the introduction… For example, “This creates a health

concern because then the consumer can become infected with the bacteria that’s resistant

in the meat.” I gave an explanation into why the resistant bacteria was a concern to the

people. Even then, I feel I lacked into giving more detail.

Moreover, in the same argumentative essay I didn’t give a strong point that

supported my main point. “ In the article, “We’re fatter but Not Smarter,” Shannon

Brownlee, states how Elliott Bloom became with the idea of “smart research” a survey

that indicates what type of consumers are eating the most at Taco Bell restaurants. By

doing surveys like this, it gives an idea to the fast food chain industries of what

demographic group to attack.” My main point was on how marketing strikes the health of

Americans. It wasn’t a strong point because many companies do this. I needed to be more

specific so I changed that point into something else. “In the article, “We’re Fatter but Not

Smarter,” Shannon Brownlee, states how the CEO of the Taco Bell franchise John Martin

wanted to obtain a larger portion of their loyal consumers. Martin decided to make
…show more content…
When in fact their getting an unhealthy diet.” This was a

more stronger supportive point, because I’m specifying the way marketing strategies are

made in the purpose of having more customers, and not caring for the consumers health.

I feel that after I revised and edited my essays I was able to noticed my mistakes, give

more support, and explanation to my supporting points.

Learning how to make useful prewriting’s for my essays, how to write a thesis

statement and knowing how to develop an essay have been very helpful. Now, I have a

better understanding on how to write successful essays. My essays have improve over the

semester, because now I know what mistakes I should be aware of committing. Also

because I was able too look back in my whole process and argumentative essay and

noticed the insufficient amount of detail and support I was providing. As a writer I feel

that I need to focus in writing strong thesis statements that are going to capture the

readers attention. I also need to pay more attention when it comes to developing an essay

because I tend to leave out important information that’s going to make my essay

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