A Essay About The Death Of Costa Rica

1160 Words Oct 17th, 2016 5 Pages
Hey Dad,

It’s Alex. I just wanted to send this to you so I can say everything I need to say without having to text, call or say it all in person. I can’t do that right now. What I can do is spill everything for you. Last year I was borderline suicidal. Right before I went to Costa Rica and I lived in Grand Rapids I was going through an existential crisis. I thought that I was a waste of space time and energy here on earth. I needed to get away from it all because I was completely isolated. When I went to Costa Rica I had an amazing time and had a while to think. I don’t know what happened to make everything click but I had felt happy for the first time since probably freshman year of college or maybe senior year in high school. So when I got back into the country I was worried that all of those other feelings would come back…and they did. I hated everything again and this summer it got bad. I was having debilitating panic attacks and I would sit up at night and go for walks and cry or just lay there in a park somewhere – I was miserable. I went to go see someone downtown. She put me on meds and they are helping a ton. I finally feel back to normal again, a similar normal to the one I felt in Costa Rica. That is why I lied about the prescriptions. I was ashamed and actually terrified because a professional thought I needed meds in the first appointment I had with her. I don’t know why but for some reason I always feel as if you are going to be disappointed, angry or…

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