I Was Saved by Music Essay

1933 Words 8 Pages
The only thing I ever remember feeling as a child is terror and complete isolation. It began with a slap on my face by a hand twice its size, a two-inch cowhide leather belt that left whets, and the hateful and vicious words that cut to the core of my young and fragile soul. There were intimate touches upon my person by someone who should have known better. Piece by piece I began to die inside. The monster started to visit me in the night. When the lights were out, the floor of my room turned into a pool full of water. Snakes, long and fat, slid through the dirty brown water, their black beady eyes staring at me as they hissed. I lay frozen in my bed calling for my mom. She cut on the light and said there are no snakes-you are …show more content…
I knew at the age of three or four I had to stop these sounds and make the monsters leave. It was not a conscious decision, but one I made somewhere on a deeper level with a part of myself I did not yet know how to speak of or even name.

So I left The Land of Terror and Pain where everything hurts. I knew inside I was dying, so I erected a wall in my mind between me and this world. I slowly constructed a world in my mind where I would live for the next few years and would continue to visit for the next twenty-odd years or more. The foundation for The Land of Make Believe, the place that would be home for so long, began with my going to that place in my imagination where all children believe that all things are possible.

There are rules to live by in The Land of Make Believe. The first rule is silence; the second rule is smile a great deal; and the third rule is to do whatever you are told to do. When I would go to the dinner table, I smiled at everyone, ate my food, said please, thank you, yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am, and always ate everything on my plate. I learned that if I did not eat all my food, my mother would think I was sick and ask questions which meant I would have to think of something to say, and it might be wrong. If I gave the wrong answer, then Dad would get mad and here came the nasty, harsh words again, then maybe the hand twice the size of my face, or

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