Thomas Cooley, in Inscriptions: Prairie Poetry, said, “I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am.” At first, the statement is a mouthful, and takes a bit of time and analyzation in order to digest. It can be deduced that Cooley is putting into a words a sentiment that most people already know - the opinions of others matter. I specifically selected this quote due to its relevance and its commonality, even if many people are hesitant to admit that they are affected by others’ opinions and perceptions. While the effect may range from insignificant to tremendous, nearly every human has experienced this interpersonal impact. Ultimately, the perceptions of others can hold such strong influence over
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Our gender, family, and culture each hold weight when it comes to the formulation of self, and it is through interpersonal communication that we can adequately balance that influence. Cooley’s ending statement, “. . . I am who I think you think I am,” can be analyzed in the context of familial effects on self. Our relationships with our parents or caregivers is one of the greatest influences on our self, be it positive or negative. From this relationship comes two aspects of self: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance. Depending on the level of positivity of the relationship with the caregivers, we may perceive ourselves as unloved and unworthy (high attachment anxiety) or worthy of love and attention (low attachment anxiety). Additionally, our level of attachment avoidance is affected by our upbringing. We may have little interest in intimacy and interpersonal relationships (high attachment avoidance) or desire these same aspects (low attachment avoidance). Abuse and neglect from others results in high levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety, while being raised in a loving home where we were valued and respected often results in low levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety. Ultimately, we can achieve a deeper understanding of our concept of self when we explore the numerous ways in …show more content…
The internal effects of the perceptions of others are significantly more documented that their external effects. Others’ perceptions, in the terms of internal effects, often affect our “private selves.” The private self includes our self-awareness, self-concept, and self-esteem, all of which are not necessarily disclosed to the world. While the effects of others’ perceptions on these components of self has been explored significantly, the effects on our public self, or the self that we present to others, has yet to receive as much attention. In a sense, the external effects of the perceptions of others is evident in our portrayal of our public self. In our desire to be perceived positively by others, we often choose to carefully craft a face, or the information that we want others to see and know. Often, we can have different faces in order to appease different people; we may be “outgoing and ready to party” around our friends, but “preppy and studious” around our parents. It is in this sense that “. . . I am who I think you think I am,” especially rings
Our gender, family, and culture each hold weight when it comes to the formulation of self, and it is through interpersonal communication that we can adequately balance that influence. Cooley’s ending statement, “. . . I am who I think you think I am,” can be analyzed in the context of familial effects on self. Our relationships with our parents or caregivers is one of the greatest influences on our self, be it positive or negative. From this relationship comes two aspects of self: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance. Depending on the level of positivity of the relationship with the caregivers, we may perceive ourselves as unloved and unworthy (high attachment anxiety) or worthy of love and attention (low attachment anxiety). Additionally, our level of attachment avoidance is affected by our upbringing. We may have little interest in intimacy and interpersonal relationships (high attachment avoidance) or desire these same aspects (low attachment avoidance). Abuse and neglect from others results in high levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety, while being raised in a loving home where we were valued and respected often results in low levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety. Ultimately, we can achieve a deeper understanding of our concept of self when we explore the numerous ways in …show more content…
The internal effects of the perceptions of others are significantly more documented that their external effects. Others’ perceptions, in the terms of internal effects, often affect our “private selves.” The private self includes our self-awareness, self-concept, and self-esteem, all of which are not necessarily disclosed to the world. While the effects of others’ perceptions on these components of self has been explored significantly, the effects on our public self, or the self that we present to others, has yet to receive as much attention. In a sense, the external effects of the perceptions of others is evident in our portrayal of our public self. In our desire to be perceived positively by others, we often choose to carefully craft a face, or the information that we want others to see and know. Often, we can have different faces in order to appease different people; we may be “outgoing and ready to party” around our friends, but “preppy and studious” around our parents. It is in this sense that “. . . I am who I think you think I am,” especially rings