In this rapidly changing world, where one is as likely to learn of a couple 's engagement via E-mail as through an engraved announcement card (I can see Miss Manners rolling her eyes now), and where second -- and even third -- marriages are commonplace, only the most nimble-minded and au courant can keep up with the rules of the wedding game. Which is part of the reason my job is so challenging: as an editor of tncweddings.com, Town & Country 's eighteen-month-old wedding-planning Web site, I handle dozens of etiquette questions daily from across the U.S. and even overseas. The answers we post -- provided by our freelance weddings expert Hilary Sterne and me -- demonstrate that it 's not enough anymore simply to advise a bride on how to word
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"The mother of the bride should have her name at the top of the invitation," she states in her Complete Guide to the New Manners for the '90s. When both parents have divorced and remarried, she adds, the mother 's name always comes first, and her ex-husband 's name appears on the next line.
As for seating, if your parents are divorced but still get along, they should generally be seated in the first row (with significant others, of course), whether this be in a church, a synagogue or on folding chairs outdoors. In less amicable circumstances, seat your mother on one end of the first row and your father on the other. If this is still too close for comfort, ask one if he or she wouldn 't mind sitting in the second row.
While changing times have raised new questions about propriety, the very qualities that will help you answer them -- thoughtfulness, sensitivity, maturity -- are the same ones upon which strong marriages are built. In the end, good old-fashioned manners -- and kind hearts -- can be the most reliable compass for navigating all questions of
"The mother of the bride should have her name at the top of the invitation," she states in her Complete Guide to the New Manners for the '90s. When both parents have divorced and remarried, she adds, the mother 's name always comes first, and her ex-husband 's name appears on the next line.
As for seating, if your parents are divorced but still get along, they should generally be seated in the first row (with significant others, of course), whether this be in a church, a synagogue or on folding chairs outdoors. In less amicable circumstances, seat your mother on one end of the first row and your father on the other. If this is still too close for comfort, ask one if he or she wouldn 't mind sitting in the second row.
While changing times have raised new questions about propriety, the very qualities that will help you answer them -- thoughtfulness, sensitivity, maturity -- are the same ones upon which strong marriages are built. In the end, good old-fashioned manners -- and kind hearts -- can be the most reliable compass for navigating all questions of