Rachael Lubitz
University of Maryland University College The Negative Effects of Divorce on Children As of 2014, after the release of the most recent census survey, the United States divorce rate was recorded as 6.9% per 1,000 total population (“National,” 2014). As much as it hurts both adults involved in the separation, if there are children from the marriage, it affects them more. As stated by Slaikeu (1996), “divorce creates a temporary state of disorder and disorganization,” (as cited in Guinart & Grau, 2014, p. 409). Children can become confused and angry. They may even blame themselves for not being ‘good enough’ or worth the effort it would take their parents to stay together. Divorce introduces a massive change in a child’s life. Having to go back and forth between two households and getting used to the daily absence of one parent is physically and mentally hard on kids. Children of divorced parents may begin to feel depressed and anxious, have behavioral problems, or struggle with relationships as they move into adulthood.
Merriam-Webster (2015) defines internalize as “to make (something…) an important part of the kind of person you are.” Internalizing their problems becomes a significant complication to children’s well-being. This is when they begin to develop depression and anxiety. Spigelman, A., and Spigelman, G. (1991) found that children who experience divorce in their lives were more likely to have increased anxiety than those from non-divorced families (p.120). Bernet (2015) states that external stressors continuing for a prolonged time may increase the symptoms a child has and eventually those symptoms can develop into a more severe mental health condition (p. 1). “Typically, the symptoms cluster to take the form of an anxiety disorder, a depressive disorder, or a somatic symptom disorder,” (Bernet, 2015, p. 1). Often these problems go unnoticed for an extended period due to the parents not taking the time to sit and discuss with their children about the way they are feeling. When parents decide to end their marriage it results in one person moving out of the home, which, in turn, can cause long periods of separation from that parent. This decreased contact can cause long-term separation distress. Separation from that parent can start an experience of sadness and futility. Spigelman, A., et al (1991) says that the depression in these children is linked to intense anger, but sadness, low self-esteem, and social withdrawal were also prevalently displayed (p. 121). Low self-esteem can become a problem because a child may think they’re the reason that the parents divorced. Some children don’t understand how to express their feelings in a way that will allow the parents to help them overcome their stressors. Instead, children withdraw into themselves because they don’t know how to deal with their feelings. If this happens, the most reasonable course of action would be to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. Along with developing internal disorders, many children begin to act out and have trouble listening and being obedient. This can cause a multitude of problems in school and at home. Kids may begin to perform poorly, even though they have always been strong students. Grades can start slipping, and discipline can become more common. Not only does this cause more stress on the child, but it also causes more stress on the adults who have to learn to handle the outcomes of their children’s behavior and learn to prevent these behaviors as well. One externalizing behavior children may start to display is aggression. Merriam-Webster defines aggression as “hostile, injurious, or destructive behavior or outlook especially when caused by frustration,” (“aggression”, 2015). When …show more content…
People show this effect in different ways. Adults of divorced parents may choose to marry someone they don’t really know or love to get themselves out of an unhappy home. Even though their marriages may not work out for the long run, adults may see it as a temporary fix to a problem they’ve been experiencing for too long. Adults can also develop a sense of unease and anxiety with the opposite sex. It can be harder for them to build and grow a trustful, fulfilling relationship because they have the mindset that marriages can’t work out or are likely to fail (Costello, 2003, p.