Every family has unfinished business, and my family is no exception. Multigenerational patterns (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2013; McGoldrick, Gerson, & Shellenberger, 1999) influence and contribute to relationship problems within family systems and to individual development. In my family, many conflict situations, or events have seemingly been resolved, however, the unresolved patterns that have gone unaddressed continue to fester, repeating themselves over time in different situations and life events. Bequeathed from generations before, and acquired honestly, my family struggles with destructive behaviors and patterns as defined by Goldenberg & Goldenberg, (2013); cut- off, dysfunctional triangulation, conflicts with attachment figures, and
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My family consists of my father, mother, and six sisters. I will explore the interactions, multicultural differences, and development of individual contributions and perpetuation of the unresolved conflicts in my family system.
Father My father is a first generation Chinese immigrant. My parents divorced when I was an infant. My father left my mother to pursue his career, leaving her with little resources to raise my sister and myself. Despite his Asian heritage as described by McGoldrick, Giordano and Garcia –Preto, (2005) “In contrast to Western cultures, in which the nuclear family stresses independence, autonomy, and self sufficiency of the individual members, in Asian cultures the family unit is highly valued and emphasized throughout the life cycle” (p. 271). It appears my father may have disregarded his cultural Asian values when he came to the United States. My father may have valued his family before immigrating to the United States, however, once here my father held little regard for the family he created …show more content…
With the guidance of therapists and thoughtful introspection, I have practiced becoming aware of my behaviors with family and in intimate relationships. I have gained insight into how my family patterns have influenced my behaviors and choices, how transgenerational legacies (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2013) have formed my beliefs and how they affect my behavior. I have also spent time gaining insight into my family history through attempts to know my parents as an adult. Examples of these attempts include spending time with my parents on a lunch outings or a long walks on the beach while discussing views, relationships and family history. With knowledge and reflection gained through psychotherapy, and through the attempt of regaining and remaking a new relationship with my parents as an adult I have made some headway into understanding how to make successful and meaningful relationships that contribute to my wellbeing and the wellbeing of
My family consists of my father, mother, and six sisters. I will explore the interactions, multicultural differences, and development of individual contributions and perpetuation of the unresolved conflicts in my family system.
Father My father is a first generation Chinese immigrant. My parents divorced when I was an infant. My father left my mother to pursue his career, leaving her with little resources to raise my sister and myself. Despite his Asian heritage as described by McGoldrick, Giordano and Garcia –Preto, (2005) “In contrast to Western cultures, in which the nuclear family stresses independence, autonomy, and self sufficiency of the individual members, in Asian cultures the family unit is highly valued and emphasized throughout the life cycle” (p. 271). It appears my father may have disregarded his cultural Asian values when he came to the United States. My father may have valued his family before immigrating to the United States, however, once here my father held little regard for the family he created …show more content…
With the guidance of therapists and thoughtful introspection, I have practiced becoming aware of my behaviors with family and in intimate relationships. I have gained insight into how my family patterns have influenced my behaviors and choices, how transgenerational legacies (Goldenberg & Goldenberg, 2013) have formed my beliefs and how they affect my behavior. I have also spent time gaining insight into my family history through attempts to know my parents as an adult. Examples of these attempts include spending time with my parents on a lunch outings or a long walks on the beach while discussing views, relationships and family history. With knowledge and reflection gained through psychotherapy, and through the attempt of regaining and remaking a new relationship with my parents as an adult I have made some headway into understanding how to make successful and meaningful relationships that contribute to my wellbeing and the wellbeing of