Mother vs. Son Essay

1362 Words May 15th, 2013 6 Pages
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Mother vs. Son



When thinking of conflict, many think of violence or hate. Although, according to Wilmot and



Hocker, conflict is simply a “struggle over values and claims to scarce status, power, and resources in



which the aims
…show more content…
constructive,



instead of destructive criticism), the power of words in conflict behavior (i.e. neutral words, instead of



judgmental words), and etc. (Hocker & Wilmot, pp.39). Yet, her philosophy is spending time on conflict



only further upsets. Conflict usually said to cause her anxiety, stress, and anger.



My Mother does not view conflict as normal, forgetting to remember expressions such as “I’m



glad things are back to normal around here” or “let’s get back on track” (Hocker & Wilmot, pp.40). In my



Mother’s opinion, communication is only meant to worsen conflict, not an opportunity to improve



relationships. My Mother may be intimated on continuing the conflict as it escalates, not wanting to ruin



our relationship. Conversely, conflict does not symbolize communication breakdown and escalating



conflicts are not meant to damage relationships (Hocker & Wilmot, pp.40).



The four horsemen acknowledge the possibilities of damaging a relationship. Criticism,



defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt all factors included in destructive conflict and in my Mother’s



conflict behaviors. Where most of our conflict interactions go wrong is because the startup of our



interaction begins with criticism. While women are socialized to criticize more than men (Hocker &



Wilmot, pp. 20). Criticism only ignites a startup which is…

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