Mother vs. Son Essay

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Mother vs. Son

When thinking of conflict, many think of violence or hate. Although, according to Wilmot and

Hocker, conflict is simply a “struggle over values and claims to scarce status, power, and resources in

which the aims
…show more content…

instead of destructive criticism), the power of words in conflict behavior (i.e. neutral words, instead of

judgmental words), and etc. (Hocker & Wilmot, pp.39). Yet, her philosophy is spending time on conflict

only further upsets. Conflict usually said to cause her anxiety, stress, and anger.

My Mother does not view conflict as normal, forgetting to remember expressions such as “I’m

glad things are back to normal around here” or “let’s get back on track” (Hocker & Wilmot, pp.40). In my

Mother’s opinion, communication is only meant to worsen conflict, not an opportunity to improve

relationships. My Mother may be intimated on continuing the conflict as it escalates, not wanting to ruin

our relationship. Conversely, conflict does not symbolize communication breakdown and escalating

conflicts are not meant to damage relationships (Hocker & Wilmot, pp.40).

The four horsemen acknowledge the possibilities of damaging a relationship. Criticism,

defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt all factors included in destructive conflict and in my Mother’s

conflict behaviors. Where most of our conflict interactions go wrong is because the startup of our

interaction begins with criticism. While women are socialized to criticize more than men (Hocker &

Wilmot, pp. 20). Criticism only ignites a startup which is

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