In the prelude of this humorous and revealing book Monkey Mind, Daniel Smith first opens with the description of his therapist, a man named Brian that fashions his mustaches and beards depending on the plays that he is involved with. As stated by the author: "It was like getting counseling from General Custer" (p.1), yet he was also the best therapist, Daniel had ever encountered in his series of counseling sessions throughout the years he had to deal with his anxiety. Daniel explains his thoughts and current distress, while describing the walk he undertakes to reach his therapist 's office. In what he qualifies as "eight short steps" (p. 3), he creates a scenario in which his anxiety would lead to prostitution:
"I am anxious. The anxiety makes it impossible to concentrate. Because it is impossible to concentrate, I will make an unforgivable mistake at work. Because I will make an unforgivable mistake at work, I will be fired. Because I will be fired, I will not be able to pay my rent. Because I will not be able to pay my rent, I will be forced to have sex for money in an alley behind Fenway Park. Because I will be forced to have sex for money in an alley behind Fenway Park, I will contact HIV. Because I will contact HIV, I will develop full-blown AIDS. Because I will develop full-blown AIDS, I will die, disgraced and alone." (Pg. 5) As Daniel ends up distressed and panicked in his therapist 's office under the stressful scenario he created for himself, and after the request of his therapist to tape him for educational purpose, he eventually reaches the conclusion that he is "anxiety personified" (Pg.7) In the first episode and opening chapter of the book genesis, Daniel seems to have found himself in quite an interesting position: "with two women, naked, in a living room in upstate New York [...] hunched in an awkward squat behind a woman on all fours [...]" (Pg. 12). Seemingly an after-scenario of a drug and alcohol induced party, Daniel goes into a rather hilarious description of his first sexual experience with Esther. While the mood is set to be comical and descriptive of his heroic encounter with the "real bureaucrat of a vagina" of a young blonde. He ultimately loses his confidence and experiences anxiety in the end as he realizes the situation he got himself into. He believes that having his virginity taken away by Esther, "the plump blonde with the unkempt pubic hair and the penchant for teenage boys" may be the cause of his anxiety. Or perhaps, she is just the additional trigger that came down from a series of unfortunate events. His mother may have been the core trigger of his anxiety as he says "in every important way--cognitive, behavioral, environmental, genetic--my mother laid the foundation of this problem of mine" (Pg. 13). He explains how his mother, herself, is an anxiety sufferer, who was exposed to panic attacks in her young adulthood life, with a fast-spaced character that acquired her the surname "Hurricane Marilyn" (Pg.16) by her family. Who also is …show more content…
There he felt his anxiety skyrocket. Overwhelmed by the campus atmosphere, the newly acquired freedom from life and the lack of safe places for privacy, he is prone to yet more panic attacks and anxiety crisis. "Freedom is anxiety 's petri dish. If routine blunts anxiety, freedom incubates it. [...] Freedom says, "You 're on your own. Deal with it."" (Pg. 87), and for a short month, he tried his best to. Daniel would go hide in the library of the campus reading authors that would pike his interest, doing deep breathing exercises to sooth himself. "There are two types of anxiety sufferers: stiflers and chaotics." (Pg.93) Daniel explains. Desperately, trying to be a stiffler, an anxious sufferers that is good at hiding his anxiety, he was rather really expressive and chaotic in regards to his bouts of anxiety. Calling his parents, pleading them to go home using "old anxiety incantation: I I I I I I I." (Pg. 101), he ended up coming to grasp with the idea (and his mother 's diagnosis and advice) that he was suffering from severe anxiety and eventually followed through with a campus therapist, in order to avoid running back
"I am anxious. The anxiety makes it impossible to concentrate. Because it is impossible to concentrate, I will make an unforgivable mistake at work. Because I will make an unforgivable mistake at work, I will be fired. Because I will be fired, I will not be able to pay my rent. Because I will not be able to pay my rent, I will be forced to have sex for money in an alley behind Fenway Park. Because I will be forced to have sex for money in an alley behind Fenway Park, I will contact HIV. Because I will contact HIV, I will develop full-blown AIDS. Because I will develop full-blown AIDS, I will die, disgraced and alone." (Pg. 5) As Daniel ends up distressed and panicked in his therapist 's office under the stressful scenario he created for himself, and after the request of his therapist to tape him for educational purpose, he eventually reaches the conclusion that he is "anxiety personified" (Pg.7) In the first episode and opening chapter of the book genesis, Daniel seems to have found himself in quite an interesting position: "with two women, naked, in a living room in upstate New York [...] hunched in an awkward squat behind a woman on all fours [...]" (Pg. 12). Seemingly an after-scenario of a drug and alcohol induced party, Daniel goes into a rather hilarious description of his first sexual experience with Esther. While the mood is set to be comical and descriptive of his heroic encounter with the "real bureaucrat of a vagina" of a young blonde. He ultimately loses his confidence and experiences anxiety in the end as he realizes the situation he got himself into. He believes that having his virginity taken away by Esther, "the plump blonde with the unkempt pubic hair and the penchant for teenage boys" may be the cause of his anxiety. Or perhaps, she is just the additional trigger that came down from a series of unfortunate events. His mother may have been the core trigger of his anxiety as he says "in every important way--cognitive, behavioral, environmental, genetic--my mother laid the foundation of this problem of mine" (Pg. 13). He explains how his mother, herself, is an anxiety sufferer, who was exposed to panic attacks in her young adulthood life, with a fast-spaced character that acquired her the surname "Hurricane Marilyn" (Pg.16) by her family. Who also is …show more content…
There he felt his anxiety skyrocket. Overwhelmed by the campus atmosphere, the newly acquired freedom from life and the lack of safe places for privacy, he is prone to yet more panic attacks and anxiety crisis. "Freedom is anxiety 's petri dish. If routine blunts anxiety, freedom incubates it. [...] Freedom says, "You 're on your own. Deal with it."" (Pg. 87), and for a short month, he tried his best to. Daniel would go hide in the library of the campus reading authors that would pike his interest, doing deep breathing exercises to sooth himself. "There are two types of anxiety sufferers: stiflers and chaotics." (Pg.93) Daniel explains. Desperately, trying to be a stiffler, an anxious sufferers that is good at hiding his anxiety, he was rather really expressive and chaotic in regards to his bouts of anxiety. Calling his parents, pleading them to go home using "old anxiety incantation: I I I I I I I." (Pg. 101), he ended up coming to grasp with the idea (and his mother 's diagnosis and advice) that he was suffering from severe anxiety and eventually followed through with a campus therapist, in order to avoid running back