Hargaden And Sill Analysis

December: seduction It is eerie how things happen in unison: I am exploring gender power plays and illico presto erotic transference enters the therapy room. Hence, I have been avidly reading Mann’s book and Hargaden and Sill’s chapter on transference models. Hargaden and Sills say that it is most useful to understand eroticism symbolically. What does that mean for me and S.? I believe he had to grow very quickly due to his mum’s illness; he had his 1st sexual experience at 13. He tries to achieve some intimacy through sex when he craves love. Thus, I conclude that S. flirts with me to seduce me into loving him, and awarding him what he desperately seeks but cannot ask for directly as it would make him too vulnerable to rejection. There’s a little boy in there that needs a mother’s love rather than an adult who wants sex. What about my countertransference? I find his masculinity arousing: his shoulders, his muscles, his bulk and power. Like Benjamin, Hargaden and Sills write about the importance of the therapist's capacity to move fluidly between her maternal and paternal identifications, her masculine and feminine attributes and her heterosexual and homosexual responses. Maybe that’s where my problem lies? Trying to find that masculine part externally? It reminded me that I fantasised to metamorphose into a man when I was younger: I …show more content…
I still feel frustrated as I believe he is not hearing me; I hate the way he cuts me off and wants to contract on everything. The more I question boundaries, the more he enforces them. I push, he pulls; he pushes and I pull. I dread bringing up erotic transference and sex. We are not connecting; I feel I am slugging on my own. Has he lost his potency or am I castrating him like S. is castrating me? Is this why he clings to boundaries? In any case, we have reverted to storming and S. and Aaron are having a metaphorical punch up through me. It appears S. is