“My son called home and said that he doesn’t have any food or toilet paper!” At the time of the call this woman’s son had been in a residential recovery program for approximately three weeks; do you think she is an enabler? This man was over forty years old and drinking himself to death for decades. Substance abusers and alcoholics know exactly which buttons to push to get their enablers to react. Enablers are codependent with the substance abuser; they make terrible decisions thinking that they’re helping their loved one. Give the facility and the professionals a little credit; a residential facility that has been saving lives for more than two decades must be doing something right, not starving their clients.
“My son called me and said …show more content…
Parents love their children and want to believe them, but how can they believe their substance abuser over the treatment professionals? Most treatment professionals even instruct families on what their loved ones might say or do at certain points of their recovery; yet some of the parents still enable their kids! It’s really quite amazing! They are literally helping to kill their own kids.
If you have a substance abuser in the family and you can’t figure out who the enabler in the family is, it’s probably you. The recovery process works when treatment plans and action planning are not interrupted or derailed by enablers or codependency. When someone really is ready to recover from addiction the process will work; families can make a huge impact by not enabling and learning all that they can about addiction and recovery. Support recovery, but do not enable, it kills!
They mean well; however, enabler actually facilitate a substance abuser’s problem by taking away all of the natural consequences of the abusers behaviors. Because the enable takes away consequences they also diminish any incentives for change in the abuser. It can become a vicious cycle of abuse and enabling where the ends are jails, institutions, or …show more content…
There is professional support.
There are professional family addiction recovery coaches who work with the family of substance abusers to help them to understand how to deal with a loved one who suffers from addiction. There are also support groups for the family such as Al-Anon and Families Anonymous or “FA.” These groups are twelve-step groups for the families of those suffering from addiction. They teach the families coping skills.
You can help your loved one without enabling. There are plenty of ways to support family members in recovery without becoming codependent or enabling. The basic rule of thumb is don’t enable addiction; however, do support recovery. Be very careful that you don’t get manipulated. Verify all statements made by substance abusers in early recovery to make sure that they’re not manipulations. Trust needs to be earned back over time.
“My son has been clean and sober for five years! He just graduated law school and is getting ready to take his bar exams to become an attorney. How can I ever thank you?” A call from a mother who never enabled or got in the way of the professionals helping her son. A wonderful and rewarding call for everyone involved! Every life can’t be saved, but we sure can try! “Hello, how can I help
“My son called me and said …show more content…
Parents love their children and want to believe them, but how can they believe their substance abuser over the treatment professionals? Most treatment professionals even instruct families on what their loved ones might say or do at certain points of their recovery; yet some of the parents still enable their kids! It’s really quite amazing! They are literally helping to kill their own kids.
If you have a substance abuser in the family and you can’t figure out who the enabler in the family is, it’s probably you. The recovery process works when treatment plans and action planning are not interrupted or derailed by enablers or codependency. When someone really is ready to recover from addiction the process will work; families can make a huge impact by not enabling and learning all that they can about addiction and recovery. Support recovery, but do not enable, it kills!
They mean well; however, enabler actually facilitate a substance abuser’s problem by taking away all of the natural consequences of the abusers behaviors. Because the enable takes away consequences they also diminish any incentives for change in the abuser. It can become a vicious cycle of abuse and enabling where the ends are jails, institutions, or …show more content…
There is professional support.
There are professional family addiction recovery coaches who work with the family of substance abusers to help them to understand how to deal with a loved one who suffers from addiction. There are also support groups for the family such as Al-Anon and Families Anonymous or “FA.” These groups are twelve-step groups for the families of those suffering from addiction. They teach the families coping skills.
You can help your loved one without enabling. There are plenty of ways to support family members in recovery without becoming codependent or enabling. The basic rule of thumb is don’t enable addiction; however, do support recovery. Be very careful that you don’t get manipulated. Verify all statements made by substance abusers in early recovery to make sure that they’re not manipulations. Trust needs to be earned back over time.
“My son has been clean and sober for five years! He just graduated law school and is getting ready to take his bar exams to become an attorney. How can I ever thank you?” A call from a mother who never enabled or got in the way of the professionals helping her son. A wonderful and rewarding call for everyone involved! Every life can’t be saved, but we sure can try! “Hello, how can I help