The Affects Of Divorce On Children

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Effects of Divorce on Children
“The family is the building block of society, and marriage is its foundation.” (Fagan, Patrick
F., and Aaron Churchill. 2012). However, divorce is all around us in today’s society and is becoming the new norm. Nearly half of all marriages will end in divorce and 40% of children in this country will experience parental divorce. Children are often the ones who are most affected by a divorce but parents don’t always realize the affect that divorce can have on a child. “If children are involved a clean divorce is not possible” (Pereti, Peter O., and Anthony Di Vitorrio.
2016). Divorce introduces a massive change into the life of a child no matter what the age.
Divorce doesn’t only affect the parents it has a big effect
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“Children have the strong belief that there is only one right family relationship, and that is Mom and Dad being together. Any other relationship configuration presents a conflict or betrayal of their basic understanding of life. In divorce, children tend to resent both the custodial and absent parent.”
(Desai, Amy. 2016). If parents get joint custody, children are bounced around from house to house making them feel vulnerable and unprotected because they can’t have a stable family home. Parents may also use their children to get information to see what’s happening with the other parent after a divorce. Children may also have to choose a side and hear a parent talk bad about the other. They are also harboring all kinds of feelings but afraid to speak up because the nature of the atmosphere around them is very tense. Divorce also permanently weakens the family and the relationship between the child and parents. Children start to trust their parents less and divorced mothers tend to be less affectionate and communicative with their children. They often discipline their children more harshly and more inconsistently for up to six years after
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2012). However, research shows that living together before marriage is not an effective way to increase your odds of success in marriage, and it may even increase the chances of eventual divorce. As a result, they can even have difficulties in forming adult intimate relationships. A young woman from a divorced family will feel a need for love and attention and yet fear abandonment. Children of divorce have greater difficulties in trusting people, including a spouse. One study linked parental divorce to lower relationship commitment and confidence in women but not in men.
“Divorce is not just an event that happens the day a parent moves out; rather, it is a process that typically begins much earlier.” (Cherlin, Anrew J. 2005). Children do not choose to have their parents’ divorce so when it happens it can be a very upsetting and disruptive event in a child’s life. It can lead to depression, feeling unloved, deviant behavior, low self-esteem and many other psychological problems that can extend into adulthood. “Children never get over a divorce, it is a great loss that is in their lives forever. It is like a grief that is never over.” (Fagan,
Patrick F., and Aaron Churchill.

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