Demian's Loss Of Innocence In Demian

One's values, actions and experiences define who they are and where they stand up in the society. Every action and experience sets a sequence which brings forth desirable and undesirable consequences. Throughout the novel Demian by Hermann Hesse Emil develops his mind by attempting different actions and experiences. He had a hard time finding out who he is and where he belongs within the dark realm or the light realm. Emil undergoes with different life stages in the novel and finds his “true self.” Emil Sinclair develops into a self-cognizant man after experiencing true friendship and the purity of life. Immaturity and innocence surrounds him as a child until Max Demian places him to the path to understanding himself. Hermann Hesse utilizes …show more content…
He accepts Demian as a role model in his dream about killing his father. Hesse presents Emil's dream to show his changing behavior towards his father and his family. Due to the severity of the experience and consequent loss of innocence, Sinclair realizes that he can never really be a part of the "world of light". In his dream he was forced to kill his own father by Kromer which presents his mind under fear of Kromer in reality, but afterward when Demian hands him knife to kill his father he holds it and agrees to kill his father. This shows his acceptance that he can't be on his family's light world. Hesse shows Emil's emotions in his drwam “ I had resisted and that had been agony to me when kromer was my tormentor I suffered gladly at Demian's hands.” ( Hesse 34). This event sets a confusion in Emil's mind, he accepts Demian as his role model, even though he knew it wasn't good for him after his opposed views on Cain and Abel's story. A new thinking and questioning leads to role confusion and a weak sense of …show more content…
At one point, out of desperation, Sinclair resorts to rebellion. He begins to drink in bars and he becomes renowned among his classmates for being careless, sarcastic, and harsh. He starts drinking and talking about girls with Alfons Beck. Even though he knew it was bad he enjoyed drinking. He expresses his feelings that “In fact it was not most painful, yet it had something, a thrill, a sweetness of rebellious orgy, that was life and spirit.” ( Hesse 74). At this life stage, Emil is experiencing the bad realm and that gives him pleasure. One must experience the bad to get rid of it; Emil is also endeavoring through this situation. He can't find which side is good unless he experiences both sides good and