Color Of Water Reflection

837 Words 4 Pages
In The Color of Water, the author, James McBride, wrestles with the idea of who he and his mother are and what their personal journey has meant. My own journey has been consistent with the ideas of always aiming for perfection and when I do not meet it the destruction that follows. The backstory of my journey and who I am today have a great meaning as I am still aiming for who I really want to be. The consistent struggle that has followed me the past couple of years was an incident that I made in high school. My boyfriend at the time of two years has gotten me pregnant. Due to my situation living in a strict Christian household I had no idea what to do. I was struggling with my boyfriend wanting me to have an abortion and sticking to my …show more content…
My dad surprisingly was not angry at me either. They just wanted to get me the help that I needed to get through this. After 11 weeks I officially decided to have the procedure, afterwards it did not take long for my boyfriend and I to break up. I did not go to school for two months, I quit dancing, and I ended up failing my sophomore year. I felt alone because I felt like no one could understand what I was going through. I was stuck in a mind set that I failed and I could not get better after it. It took about two years to finally stop being in that mind set. I would talk about it with my parents when needed, I got back into my school work and dancing and ended up graduating high school early. At times I still get depressed and just want to be alone, but I feel like I have moved on from that sad state. I now know that I was young and it was the appropriate choice to do at the time. There is not a day that goes on that I do not think about it and I wish I did not go through with the procedure. But that part of my journey has made me who I am today. Every day I try my hardest with my …show more content…
Some of them have been good, based off of how my parents have raised me. Some have also been bad, due to my judgments and being surround by the wrong people. I like to think that my bad judgments have shaped me much more as a person than the good things in my life. The reason I am choosing to go into pediatrics/trauma is due to my incident in high school. The reason I have become closer to God is because of my struggles when I was searching for an understanding. My parents have helped me through my bad times, which I believe is one of the reasons I am who I am today. I grew up always having to go to church every Sunday, and I never regretted it. Having family dinners, and family time together a couple times a week has also helped me. I do not think at this moment of my life I am who I want to be yet, but I am trying hard to get to that point where I want to be. I want to be something that matters, that I could amount to what my child needed as a mother. So to continue to that point I will try the best I can in college, try hard with my relationships and never give

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