A controlling middle aged woman who vows never to fall in love, begins a relationship with a younger man.
BRIEF SYNOPSIS
ELIZABETH GRAYSON (52) is an independent, controlling business woman, who runs her own hair salon. She has a daughter STACEY (20’s). She’s overly attached to her 1964 Powder Blue Mustang Convertible. She struggles with the idea of aging.
After driving through a stop sign, Elizabeth’s beloved car is hit by CAMERON CLARK (20’s). He runs a BMW car dealership and promises to fix her car. In the meantime, he’ll loan her a car.
Elizabeth and Cameron soon develop feelings for each other. Elizabeth invites Cameron over, they play strip poker, get drunk, and make love.
They continue to see each other. Elizabeth tells him she …show more content…
The areas to revisit include the structure, the pace, the tension, and some story choices, along with some further character development.
First, the story opens and establishes Elizabeth’s ordinary world. However, the concern about the first scene is that Elizabeth isn’t identified by name and it’s not clear if it’s her or not. There’s no reason not to provide her name. In addition, the scene isn’t the most engaging for an opening scene. While it establishes Elizabeth’s personality, it doesn’t pull the audience into the story. It feels disconnected from the rest of the plot.
When Elizabeth is eventually identified it’s not clear what her age is (the earlier “woman” is middle aged). It’s not until later that her age is defined to be 52. Make sure this is clear from the opening. It’s very important. On the same note, when Stacey is introduced make sure the audience knows her age too.
There’s a solid inciting event when the cars crash into each other. This symbolic demonstrates her life “crashing” in a new direction. It’s this event and the idea of Elizabeth and Cameron dating that propels the story forward. Elizabeth’s decision to get involved with a younger man drives act two and act
BRIEF SYNOPSIS
ELIZABETH GRAYSON (52) is an independent, controlling business woman, who runs her own hair salon. She has a daughter STACEY (20’s). She’s overly attached to her 1964 Powder Blue Mustang Convertible. She struggles with the idea of aging.
After driving through a stop sign, Elizabeth’s beloved car is hit by CAMERON CLARK (20’s). He runs a BMW car dealership and promises to fix her car. In the meantime, he’ll loan her a car.
Elizabeth and Cameron soon develop feelings for each other. Elizabeth invites Cameron over, they play strip poker, get drunk, and make love.
They continue to see each other. Elizabeth tells him she …show more content…
The areas to revisit include the structure, the pace, the tension, and some story choices, along with some further character development.
First, the story opens and establishes Elizabeth’s ordinary world. However, the concern about the first scene is that Elizabeth isn’t identified by name and it’s not clear if it’s her or not. There’s no reason not to provide her name. In addition, the scene isn’t the most engaging for an opening scene. While it establishes Elizabeth’s personality, it doesn’t pull the audience into the story. It feels disconnected from the rest of the plot.
When Elizabeth is eventually identified it’s not clear what her age is (the earlier “woman” is middle aged). It’s not until later that her age is defined to be 52. Make sure this is clear from the opening. It’s very important. On the same note, when Stacey is introduced make sure the audience knows her age too.
There’s a solid inciting event when the cars crash into each other. This symbolic demonstrates her life “crashing” in a new direction. It’s this event and the idea of Elizabeth and Cameron dating that propels the story forward. Elizabeth’s decision to get involved with a younger man drives act two and act