The Importance Of My Parents Marital System

2765 Words 12 Pages
In general, the family an individual grows up in has major influence on the journey that they take in life. Our parents and the way they are impact the way we relate to other people, the type of foods that we enjoy, what god we pray to, and generally how we see the world. For therapist, it is of utmost importance to understand the breadth of this influence in order to become aware of countertransference and playing out unfinished business in session with their clients. Understanding the extent to which our families of origin guide the way we are in the world allows us to reconcile what truly is ours and what is carry over from generations past.
My Parents’ Marital System
My Father My father was born in the South to a mixed race couple during
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The law of reciprocity was underlying every decision my family made. Both of my parents worked in some sort of service field, for the most part they live out treat others, as you want to be treated. In our family the golden rule has four components: respect, honest, forgiveness, and generosity. First and foremost you must respect other people. To respect each other is to take everyone’s thoughts, feelings, needs, and choice into account when making decisions or acknowledging and valuing everyone’s thoughts, feelings and contributions to not only the family, but also society as a whole. There is the saying that respect must be earned, which my parents always had an issue with. All people deserve an amount of respect, even if their actions are less than honorable. With respect comes honesty, the second offshoot of the golden rule. It feels awful when someone lies to you, so do not do it to other people. When someone is honest with his or her transgressions, then my parent encouraged us to extend forgiveness. Though forgiveness is a choice, it is a hard choice to make. Everyone is going to make mistakes, but those mistakes do not define them. My parents recognized that and urged us to forgive, because there are going to be times when we make mistakes and “don’t we want them to forgive us?” My mom has modeled this beautifully over the past few years as she has worked through my father’s actions. Lastly, my parents wanted us to be generous. Everyone goes through times of need, so give because if you were in need you would want support without any expectations

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