Perfection
For about a week I have tried to find the write words to explain to people what it is like to be a perfectionist. How would you describe it? Someone who strives to be perfect. Someone who everyone wants to be. A person who dose not stop until everything in there life is perfect. I only wish that was what perfection is like. You see “At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.” (Michael Law) For a long time I have been labeled as a perfectionist, and for an even longer time I have lived in fear. The perfectionist inside of me hates trying new things. If something is new that means it is impossible …show more content…
I started doing band camp at the end of July, and I spent more then three days planning out what I was going to wear on the first day. When I walked in to any room girls still gave me the look. The look that was equal parts hate, jealousy and ah. I thought everything was going right in my life; then it hit me for the first time in a really long time I felt like I had failed. It happened the first week of school I got cut from the volleyball team. I was devastated. To me there was no conceivable expiation as to why. All my passes where spot on. I had not missed a serve all week, and I worked harder then anyone else on the court. It was the first time in my life that my best was not good enough. For the first time I was not good enough, and it killed me. In that moment I felt like there was nothing I had ever done that I could be proud of. All the time I had spent walking on egg shells making sure everyone thought I was perfect it was worthless. I could not handle it as soon as I got into the car I balled. I cried so much I was pretty sure my tear ducks where going to go dry. My parents where so confused they know I was upset about not making the team but they thought I would get over it. When I didn’t my dad got worried and he told me I should go out for
For about a week I have tried to find the write words to explain to people what it is like to be a perfectionist. How would you describe it? Someone who strives to be perfect. Someone who everyone wants to be. A person who dose not stop until everything in there life is perfect. I only wish that was what perfection is like. You see “At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.” (Michael Law) For a long time I have been labeled as a perfectionist, and for an even longer time I have lived in fear. The perfectionist inside of me hates trying new things. If something is new that means it is impossible …show more content…
I started doing band camp at the end of July, and I spent more then three days planning out what I was going to wear on the first day. When I walked in to any room girls still gave me the look. The look that was equal parts hate, jealousy and ah. I thought everything was going right in my life; then it hit me for the first time in a really long time I felt like I had failed. It happened the first week of school I got cut from the volleyball team. I was devastated. To me there was no conceivable expiation as to why. All my passes where spot on. I had not missed a serve all week, and I worked harder then anyone else on the court. It was the first time in my life that my best was not good enough. For the first time I was not good enough, and it killed me. In that moment I felt like there was nothing I had ever done that I could be proud of. All the time I had spent walking on egg shells making sure everyone thought I was perfect it was worthless. I could not handle it as soon as I got into the car I balled. I cried so much I was pretty sure my tear ducks where going to go dry. My parents where so confused they know I was upset about not making the team but they thought I would get over it. When I didn’t my dad got worried and he told me I should go out for