Comparing Myth, Mourning, And Demeter, Waiting Rita Dove

Demeter, Determined In her poems Demeter, Mourning and Demeter, Waiting Rita Dove uses the myth of Demeter and Persephone to comment on the unpredictable, contradicting nature of motherly love. There is perhaps no mother-daughter relationship as quite as famous as this, and certainly none quite as emotionally extreme. In Demeter, Mourning Dove uses the initial reaction of Demeter’s loss of Persephone to comment on how deep her loss runs. Demeter, Waiting, however, moves on to the next stage of grief—being upset you could slap the person who is the source of your emotional turmoil, even if you’re not really angry at them. Dove’s poems discuss the often overlooked emotional rollercoaster that goes along with being someone’s mother but also serves …show more content…
Demeter is no longer sad over Persephone’s kidnapping but instead absolutely furious. It is not clear who exactly she is mad it. It could be at Hades for taking her daughter, it could be Persephone for leaving, it could even just be the universe in general. But Demeter does not care who is at fault and she shows this by dragging the world “through a winter of [her] own making”. She no longer wishes to return to the true happiness she and Persephone shared before her disappearance instead she is reveling in the crying and screaming and has resolved that if she cannot be happy then the rest of the world will join her in mourning. This aspect of motherhood—being so angry you could lash out at the things you once loved—is one that is not often commented on. Dove does not idolize motherly love and rest it upon a pedestal. She instead shows it for what it truly is—all-consuming, raw, and honest in ways that other forms of love can’t seem to grasp. Dove uses Demeter’s righteous anger to comment on mothers who believe tough love is best. Instead, it seems, Dove believes that mothers should love their children unconditionally and teach them the same with kindness and understanding while they can. “Who can bear it. Only Someone / who hates herself, who believes / to pull a hand back from a daughter’s cheek / is to put love in her pocket”. To not demonstrate your love to your child at every possible moment is to deprive both …show more content…
Dove uses Demeter’s control over nature to heighten and exaggerate her emotional state, giving the reader vivid images to connect with the abstract emotions Dove is attempting to convey. She praises the heart wrenching, stubborn love mothers have for their children, but also chastises mothers who believe tough love is the best method of teaching a child. Dove believes only someone who hates themselves could truly believe tough love is any kind of love at all because children should be cherished and loved deeply no matter what it is they have