Decision Points In Interpersonal Relationships

Decision Points Interpersonal relationships are what keep the human race from simply being islands apart from one another. These relationships are our reason to exist. They “shape our lives” (Edwards), and give us a reason to leave a legacy when we die. The first big interpersonal relationship that comes to mind for most people is likely the relationship with their first significant other. There are horror stories of young teens finding themselves in their first romantic relationship that begins to crash and burn around them seemingly as soon as it began. However, one’s first relationship where there is “trust and mutual understanding,” as my father would put it, between the couple is the most reformative of all the early life relationships. …show more content…
Autonomy leads to dialectic tension with the desire for connectedness with a significant other, the state of closeness and intimacy we share with another person. When you become extremely close to someone you begin to form a singular identity. As the authors of Elasticity and the Dialectic Tensions of Organizational Identity would put it, how we deal with dialectic tensions is a matter of if we expand our individual identities in a relationship or constrict them. I have seen relationships where the one individual in a couple feels threatened by the other going out with friends or doing new things on their own, because in doing so the singularity of their relationship is challenged. I have been lucky enough to not experience this much, if at all, with Sydney. From time to time there was separation anxiety, but she never wanted to be the type of girl who pulled me away from my friends and passions. Too much autonomy; though, can prove to be detrimental to the relationship. If you begin to primarily operate as individuals and less as a couple then the relationship regresses back to a point where you’re just two people who enjoy each other’s company. This is the problem that is seen with long distance relationships. In my relationship with Sydney, this has manifested …show more content…
I do know that the dialectical tensions were at play in my interpersonal relationship with her, as they are at play in all interpersonal relationships in one way or another. Everyone wants to have it all, but we have to make choices. We can either tie ourselves to another or act according our allegiance to ourselves. We can try something new or play it safe, but not both. We can live our lives in transparency, embracing our flaws, or conceal them, holding all of our cards close to our chest. Uncertainty in our decision will always exist, but it should never be allowed to uphold us from making those