Instinctive Parenting Skills

192,990. That is how many books Amazon brings up when asked for a book on parenting. As cliché as it is, parents-to-be often fear the unknown territory that they are stepping into when they are having a child. Expecting parents around the world are in a panicked 9 month search for the tell-all instruction book with all the answers before they are put to the real life test. While worrying about whether or not their instinctive parenting skills will kick in, and whether or not they even have instinctive parenting skills at all, awaiting parents work themselves up into a frenzy of anxiety and questions, all of which have no one right or wrong answer. In the thousands of questions that cross a parent-to-be’s mind, there is one encompassing common …show more content…
Society often makes an effort to point out how to be a good samaritan. Teachers are told to reinforce good manners in the classroom and incorporate the values into lessons in early education. Public service workers, like firemen and policemen, are regarded as heroes who lead good lives in the city. So, it only makes sense for parents to also encourage these lessons in the home. These lessons often include responsibility, independence, politeness, and respect. These do, in fact, support a good life style throughout one’s childhood and into adulthood. American essayist, Joan Didion, recounts a memory of her childhood in which her mother chose the traditional parenting patterns that were in sync with society. When comparing her mom’s parenting styles to her aunt’s, Didion recalls that her mother never held her to strict rules saying “go to bed at six-thirty and finish every bite of three vegetables, one of them yellow, with every meal,” like her aunt did with her cousin, Brenda. Didion never was forced to be extraordinary or held back to be average. Didion’s mother allowed for the traditional curriculum of society to guide her daughter into adulthood. This reflects how parents can easily slip into a mindless, effortless parenting pattern in which they simply support the customary lessons that lead to a good life. Didion’s mother never once thought to …show more content…
That is to say, one should not conform to what society dictates as “the way”. Ignore the photoshopped magazines and be comfortable in one’s own skin are preached to adolescences all through their developing years. A parent is programed to fear their child becoming lost in the faceless masses and to dream of their child being the special one. So, why is it that parents fail to learn from the lessons they teach? Creativity is lost when tradition and cookie cutter parenting patterns takes the reigns. Those parents who defy the routine parenting styles and decide to add their own twist of commentary, challenge their child beyond what society asks for. American writer Annie Dillard gives a detailed description her mother’s untraditional ways of parenthood and asserting independence in her children in her essay, “An American Childhood.” In this essay, Dillard recalls how her mother often forced her, her siblings and anyone else who was around into a conversation that leads to an awkward situation. In this uncomfortable event, the victim was put on the spot to defend an opinion that they had said with confidence, just to falter under the pressure and fail to stand their ground. Dillard’s mother found entertainment in the fish-out-of-water reaction. Dillard remembers having said that “Giant is a good movie” during dinner one evening. In response, her mother asked “Oh, really?” Dillard’s mother knew she had not seen the