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226 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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Brinsley: Sir, though you may be a giant of literature, if you have- |
I heard someone- |
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Edgar: Oh hello! |
What is - |
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Brinsley: Well...I...this is Miss Sarah Dowling. And this is...Mr. Edgar Allen Poe. |
Edgar Allan Poe? |
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Edgar: YES! THAT IS WHO I AM! Edgar Allan Poe. It is nice to meet you for the first time. |
It is nice to meet you for the first time. I'm a little surprised to see you today. |
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Brinsley: Excuse me. |
What in God's name are you-?! [KISS] Get a grip on yourself Richard! |
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Edgar: I understand this isn't a terribly plan- |
Edgar Allan Poe!?! |
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Edgar: He's on an opium binge, he won't be awake for three days, please I needed to see you. |
This is insane! They're going to find out! |
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Edgar: Not at all, they've never met him, they've only seen his likeness in the papers- |
And what's is that thing on your face? |
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Edgar: YES IT IS ME, EDGAR ALLAN POE. THE FAMOUS POET. And... |
Short story writer- |
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Edgar: SHORT STORY WRITER. And NOVELIST. |
No. |
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Helena: I didn't catch any of that. |
MR. POE SAID HE WAS A GREAT POET AND WAS PARTICULARLY AND AMAZED BY HIS OWN HUMILITY. |
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Helena: What are you doing here? |
I am fascinated with this character. |
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Helena: I am fascinated that you remain a spinster at age thirty-two. It's not natural. Since you have a pleasing enough shape and face, I can only assume the fault lies in your personality. |
I am independent woman, Aunt Helena. Like you. |
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Edgar: Very well. Though I would rather be cavorting with the shadowy underworld, I shall undertake the tutoring of your niece in the hopes of making her attractive to the opposite sex. |
I am already attractive to the opposite sex. I am engaged. |
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Brinsley: Oc course, Madame. This way, sir. |
Brinsley, might I have a word with the incredibly famous poet? |
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Brinsley: I would advise against that, Miss Dowling. He seems unnatural and evil. |
Right, but I should still like a word with him. |
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Brinsley: I shall protect your honor in every way even though you are getting old there is little hope for you. |
In private, Mr. Brinsley. |
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Brinsley: Mr. Poe- I would like to add that I also possess dueling sabors in the unlikely event I shall be called upon to defend anyone's honor. I shall return presently. |
Go. [B. exits] You're going to a poem?! |
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Edgar: Your engaged!? |
Clearly you've gone insane. |
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Edgar: Indeed. |
Oh throw some water on yourself! |
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Edgar: That's inadvisable. It would probably wash my mustache clean off. |
How on earth did you even concoct this idiotic scheme? |
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Edgar: I have the good fortune of being the real Poe's mailman...- I thought it was the perfect opportunity to - |
All right all right all right. |
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Edgar: I set stole the letter.... but much better than not having a hundred dollars. |
She's hired Poe to write the poem, not you. |
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Edgar: But you don't understand! When I put on the mustache and affect the air, it's like I become Poe! I feel his spirit! |
He isn't dead! |
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Edgar: Which makes it even more remarkable! |
Don't you think you're overdoing it? You're acting like a madman! |
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Edgar: Exactly! It's perfect! Have you read his poems? The man is deranged! I am doing a terrific job of impersonating him! |
Richard! Stop speaking! You have to get out here. Do you know who my fiancé is? |
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Edgar: I must admit, I am troubled by this idea of a fiancé...- Your lips....are like... peppermint. Amazing! |
I am engaged to Rufus Griswold. And he's bound to be here any minute. |
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E: He's sounds vile. |
He is. |
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E: Then why are you- |
Could you please silence yourself for a moment and listen! He happens to be Abigail's- |
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E: I met her. Odd girl. |
Guardian, and he's threatened to do something awful with her if I don't consent to marry him. |
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E: Why is he Abigail's guardian? |
Griswold somehow managed to become my sister's confident. When she grew ill, he convinced her to sign over custody before she died. |
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E: He's sounds like a monster. In my new persona, I shall skewer him when he arrives. Poe seems the sort who would slaughter a man in a duel. |
Don't. I'll wiggle out of it as soon as she is married. But- Rufus knows Poe. He's a literary editor and a poet himself, I'm certain they've crossed paths. |
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E: Oh. That is a complication. |
And he's due here any minute. |
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B: Mr. Rufus Griswold! |
Oh there you are dear heart. |
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R: Sarah I- |
Please. We are moving so fast it terrifies my soul. Call me Miss Dowling. |
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R: Very well I- Hello there. |
Oh um... |
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B: There seems to be something that matter with him. |
He uh... is violently ill. |
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R: Mr. Poe, I'm glad to see that you have finished your time at the asylum. Perhaps he ought to see a doctor? |
I'm sure he's perfectly well. Just near death. |
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R: Most likely withdrawal pains from his opium addiction. Quite sad. |
I believe he's trying to communicate. What is it, Mr. Poe? |
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R: Miss Dowling - do not get close to Jim. I'd hate to have you infested with whatever insects crawl upon this poor wretch. |
I'll try to help you. |
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R: I shall help him. |
Mr. Poe - your - |
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R: What was he doing here? |
Are you all right, Brinsley? |
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R: What was Poe doing here? |
My Aunt has engaged him to write her a poem. |
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R: What? |
My has engaged him to write her a poem. |
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R: I heard you I just said what. |
I know. I thought perhaps the word "what" meant that you could not hear the perfectly clear thing which I just said. Perhaps deafness is catching. |
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R:Is your Aunt aware that I am also a poet? |
I'm certain that she is. |
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R: And? |
I believe she feels that your skills are not up to the challenge. |
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R: What? |
I believe she feels that your skills are not- |
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R: I heard you! |
The stop saying what. It makes me think that you are incapable of listening properly. |
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R: This is madness! Did she not see hum? Is she not aware of what he is? |
Again, I believe this is why se hired him. |
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R: He's a madman! He's practically a walking cabinet of vomit. |
Mr. Griswold - |
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R: wPlease, dear, call me Rufus. Our love demands it. |
Mr. Griswold, if you wish to tell my Aunt what to do, there is her door. |
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R: I simply wished that she would have asked me, that is all. |
It is a love poem. |
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R: That's my specialty. Remember the one I wrote to you? |
You compared me to a mollusk. |
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R: It was a metaphor. A mollusk is able to shift silt from the sea and produce pure water, just as you sift... unpleasantness from the world to create your beautiful smile. |
That compassion is as tortured as one of the unfortunates from Mr. Poe's stories. |
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R: Tell me it didn't fire your passion. |
It didn't fire my passion. |
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R: I shall write you another then. |
Please abstain. I don't know how many invertebrates I can be likened to. |
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R: Very well. We shall skip the poetry and go straightaway to the kissing. |
Perhaps there is time for poetry after all. |
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R: Now I believe I need kisses to inspire my verse. |
Acquire a dog. They'll miss anything. |
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R: I despise any animal that shoves its nose into the rear end of another animal. |
You will make out well in the comparison then. Perhaps a subject for your next poem. |
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R: Miss Dowling- I enjoy this light banter as much as the next post, but I cannot contain myself much longer- |
Please try- |
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R: We need to set a date for our wedding. |
Darling, you know what I think about that. First I must see my cousin Abigail married- then we shall have ours. |
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R: I mean that we must marry straightaway- |
After my cousin! It would break my heart to see her unmarried at eighteen. |
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B: might I have a word with you, sir? You are very bad at this. |
Rufus- I am aware that I am old, but I have explained all of that. I am terrified by men in general- that is why I am able to be engaged to you. Now please, I am tired, and I have been exhausted by all this nonsense about kissing and mollusks. I must ask you to leave me. |
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R: I just got here! |
Yes, and I am trying very hard to make sure you don't overstay your welcome. |
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Very well but before I go you must promise me not to speak to People. His very words are poison. Did you not see the man? |
Your concern for my ears is touching, Mr. Griswold, but I shall speak to whomever I wish. |
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R: If I find him here again, I shall be very upset. Very upset indeed. |
I shall keep that in mind. |
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R: Might I have a kiss now? |
No. But I will consent to wave I. Your general direction. |
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A: Is he gone? |
Yes, he's just left. Are you alright? |
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Oh I'm more than all right. |
What happened to your face? |
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A: Love. Please sit down, Sarah, I must tell you everything. But you must promise not to be shocked by my words |
I'm not sure that I can- |
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A: Promise! |
Very well. I promise. |
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A : I am in love. |
That's wonderful- |
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A: No, not Henry. I'm afraid that I have done something terribly, terribly wicked. It's Mr. Poe. |
What? |
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A: oh he is very much evil, but I can't help myself. He's an animal. |
He's not really an animal. |
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M: I've heard he is! He has eaten the heart of a goat. And he's a drug addict! |
That's ridiculous, neither of you have- |
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A: I have proof! Just moments ago- he seized me in the closet! |
Why the closet? |
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A: It's very dark in there. Oh you mustn't blame me! I was overcome. |
You are engaged to Henry. |
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M: Oh yes- ya know what I like? When a man grabs my hair and - |
Mary, if you don't mind, we are in America now. People behave properly here. |
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A: To be honest, he was a bit strange with me, but I feel that must be because of the closeness of the quarters. It was so dark in there with the coats. I was lucky to have escaped him. |
Why were you in the closet in the first place? |
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A: What should I do? I know that I cannot love him, and yet- |
Remember that Henry is a kind and good-natured soul who would be an excellent match for you. |
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A: You think so? |
Yes! And Poe is ....he really kissed you in the closet? |
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A: Ravenously. |
Today? |
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M: Miss Abigail-if I might- drop him like a rock. |
Get out, Mary. Your advice is awful. |
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M: I'm only trying to help, Miss. |
I'm beginning to understand why Irishwomen have ten or fourteen babies a piece. |
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H: Ah yes. How do you do? You are maintaining yourself well. I would never imagine that you are as old as you are. |
Nice to see you again, Mr. Whitford. |
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A: Excellent. Gather away. |
Perhaps I should leave. |
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H: Not at all. We must always have a chaperone at all times. |
Brinsley is here. |
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A: Yes. Indeed. |
This is quite fun |
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H: It is, yes. |
Mr. Whitford, perhaps you would care to engage Miss Dowling in some witty banter? |
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H: I should like that very much. Who will begin? |
Abigail? |
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H: Nothing more. Are you certain? |
The weather seems to be too challenging a subject. Perhaps you should talk of love. |
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H: There are other people present. |
Again, I'm happy to leave. In fact, I would be thrilled to leave. |
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A: I can't wait for our honeymoon. |
Maybe you just need to loosen up. Brinsley, could you fetch him a drink. |
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H: I don't drink, actually. It's not good for my anxiety. I begin to fear for my life. |
All right then- um... |
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H: Were that the case, our passion might consume us. |
Oh yes. Most certainly. |
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A: Mr. Whitford, allow me to make this easier for you. If you do not wish to marry me, I release you from your obligation. |
Oh come now- |
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A: Don't trouble yourself. |
Abigail- Mr. Whitford is a fine match! |
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A: I am in love with someone else! |
Oh no. |
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H: You are...but... |
Henry! What are you going to do about this? |
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Helena: Oh, Henry you aspire to be an object! Sit down and wait. |
You just accept that? |
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E: Oh Henry don't be shocked. Simply because there are some people in this world who show a little discrimination in who they hire. |
Mr. Poe? |
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E: Yes! I am still here. You are perhaps wondering why I am facing this direction. |
No, I- I am not curious about that. |
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R: If you were any type of a gentleman, I would run you through with a sword. |
Gentlemen, please. |
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R: And Miss Dowling, I thought I told you not to speak to this creature. |
He is employed here, Mr. Griswold. |
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H: You know about this too? Are there no secrets in this house?! |
What is the matter with you, Henry? |
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R: Or course I've seen it! Why do you think I despise him so? I've even reviewed it several time. |
Gentlemen! Mr. Poe- if you don't mind, my Aunt would like to begin. She can get quite abrasive if her schedule is not adhered to. |
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E: And I hope to see you again frequently. |
I don't think so, Mr. Poe. |
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E: Is there something the matter? R: Yes! |
Mr. Griswold. Please. I can handle myself. I am a mature woman, as you delight in reminding me. You are here for business, Mr. Poe, not pleasure. I would remind you to keep that in mind while you spend time in this house. As for me, I do not care to be in your presence, not because of an order from my fiance, but because of your most recent betrayal. |
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E: Betrayal?! |
Yes! |
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E: What betrayal? |
Don't play stupid with me, it doesn't become you. I know all about your stolen kisses, and I do not appreciate them. Now if you don't mind, I would like to go check on my cousin and make certain she's safe. There are scoundrels about. |
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R: Nothing. Nothing at all. I have some work to do. |
Sorry to keep you waiting. |
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R: I just remembered that I needed to do something. |
You have only just arrived. |
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R: And now I am leaving. Might I have a kiss for my journey home? |
I think that would be most inappropriate, Mr. Griswold. |
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R: Are there to be no kisses then?! |
There is company here. |
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R: He is a child! |
All the better for him not to witness our passion! |
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R: Will you see me out? |
I do not wish to be assaulted once again, Mr. Griswold. You have already shown that you expect kisses from me, I think it's only fair to have Mr. Brinsley as a chaperone. Brinsley! |
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H: I am very scared. Oh stop being so petrified, Henry ...I can't even look at it! Is that what she wants? A man who is half-devil? |
Are you all right? |
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H: I am not all right. |
My cousin is fickle. She will change her tune. |
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H: ... I see. |
You look a little pale. |
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H: I am a little concerned. |
That's all right. She will be better. You just need to... |
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H: I just need to...what? |
Young women have certain...desires. |
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H: They do? |
Of course they do! |
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H: Clearly, I know nothing! |
Mr. Whitford- Henry- you are a little inexperienced - |
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H: I am grossly inexperienced! I didn't know any of these terrible things before today! |
It's not unusual. It's entirely natural, in fact. You just need to speak a little more. Tell her what's on your mind. Engage her in conversation. |
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H: Are you sure that's what she wants? |
Oh course that's what she wants! She wants to be entertained. She wants to be flattered. Give her some spice! |
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H: I...I... |
Don't be so nervous! |
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H: But I think the things she wants are...beyond me. |
They aren't! Buck up your courage! Become what she wants you to become! What she needs you to become. You mustn't be worried about everything. You must say, "damn it all" and charge forward! |
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H: Charge forward? |
Yes! |
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H: Become what she wants? |
Yes! |
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H: Very well. Though I am...petrified at the thought of it...and my very nature rebels against these suggestions...I will be what she wants me to be. |
Excellent. Go to it, then. |
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H: I'm going to need some time to come up with a new persona. |
All right. Then do that. |
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H: Thank you Miss Dowling. I am in your debt. |
Just remember, Henry. These are a young woman's fancies. We grow out of needing them in short order. |
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Lights up |
You're here already? |
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E: Ah! I'm sorry you startled me. |
You cannot possibly imagine you're going to write this poem, Richard. |
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E: I only need something adequate. |
And? |
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E: And it's impossible!....I'm hoping desperately to finish the poem before I have to have another session with your Aunt. |
She is expecting you. |
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E: Don't you think I don't know that?! I just need to focus for five more minutes and I can get this done. |
How much do you have so far? |
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E: Not nearly enough. And then, when this is over, and I've safely acquired the money, we can be together. |
Oh pish. |
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E: It's true! |
And what will you do for a living? |
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E: Perhaps I shall continue to be Poe! I could arrive at parties! I could compose poems for events! I feel like I am channeling his loving spirit- |
Are you to suggest that it was Poe's spirit that led you to seizing my cousin in the closet? |
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E: You have to believe me. I did not kiss your cousin. I don't know where she got that fantastical idea, but I think she is slightly mad. |
She swears to it! |
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E: Perhaps she hallucinated me. |
She hallucinated someone who looked just like you and embraced her in the closet?! |
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E: It's possible! |
No it isn't! |
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E: Please don't raise your voice. I don't want your Aunt to hear. |
She's as dead as a stump, I wouldn't worry about it. |
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E: Ah! I don't have the fortitude to face her yet. Allow me to hide in your room while I finish the poem. |
You must fix things with my cousins. She has thrown out Henry for you. Or for Poe. Or for her hallucinations. |
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Helena: Is he here? |
Who? |
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E: Stupid girl. You know who. Mr. Poe |
I have not seen Edgar Allen Poe. |
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Helena: Why not? |
He is not here. |
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Helena: When he is here, send him in to me immediately. |
Of course. |
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Helena: What? |
OF COURSE |
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M: Did I now? Well then - I shall have to scrub it. |
Aunt Helena? All right go. Where did you leave it? |
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E: It's on the table. Oh damn it. |
What? |
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E: Where did I leave that thing? |
Perhaps the spirit of Poe has made you mad. Or at least forgetful. |
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E: It was right here. |
Perhaps you left it on your person? |
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A: I certainly don't want a baby-eating goat -fornicator! |
What in Earth is going on out here? |
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H: For your love! |
I'm sure that's not the case. Henry looks to me to be an extremely masculine man who is ready and able to commit vile acts for the sheer joy of it. |
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A: Why do you plead his case so strongly? He's a babe in the woods! |
As are you! I hope. |
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A: I have dreamed things beyond your imagination! |
Oh I doubt that very much! |
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A: Henry. I will be in my room. You are not invited. |
Abigail, listen to reason. He's perfectly acceptable. |
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A: I do. He is charming, exciting, and passionate and he is also a brilliant poet. |
She'll come around. |
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H: Mr. Poe? |
It's a childish fantasy. |
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H: I mean he's- |
Abigail is deeply confused. |
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H: Why him and not me? |
You have to understand, there is something quite magnetic about him. He lures women in...I myself ... |
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H: What? |
I have some experience with Mr. Poe as well. |
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H: You! |
Well- |
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E: I use it as a study |
Certainly nothing inappropriate was occurring in- |
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E: Henry, relax- |
Mr. Poe- it might be helpful if you explained the situation. |
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H: She's lying! |
Abigail! |
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A: He's an artist! He's not bound by your morality! Mr. Poe - I trust we will continue our private tutoring later? |
What private tutoring? |
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E: The girl is delusional. She's gone insane. H: Oh. |
Did you or did you not tutor her in private? |
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H: I'll have you know I am immune to poison. Whatever sinister magic you might work up on me will fall upon rocky shores! I am absolute in my faith in decency and morality- |
Oh stop it Henry. Speak away, Mr. Poe. I shall busy myself elsewhere. |
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H: That's even worse! |
Oh here's your poem. |
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H: Very well, Mr. Poe. But if this does not succeed, I'll have you answer for it. E: Fine. |
What in God's name is this? "Slavery of lust?" This is your so-called poem to my Aunt? This is you channeling Poe? "I shall be your servant in depravity?" This doesn't even rhyme! |
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E: Oh no no- that's Abigail's letter to me. She must be the one who took my poem. |
She wrote this for you? |
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E: Yes I believe so. |
So you did kiss her! |
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E: No I did not! |
It says so right here! Your fevered embrace. Your tongue entwining with mine- my God this is like a French poem! |
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E: I would like to add that your cousin has a rather filthy imagination. She is a dangerous person. What are you doing? |
Get out here! |
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A: I am otherwise engaged! |
Get out here! |
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A: What is it? |
Did you write this letter? |
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A: Yes I did! |
You ought to have your mind washed out with soap! |
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A: I told you about my imagination and you didn't believe it! |
Child, there is one thing you must learn. It is one thing to think depraved thoughts, it's quite another to write them down! |
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A: Mr.Poe seems to be doing quite well with it! Did you see the letter he wrote to me? |
What? |
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E: What letter? What does it say? That the poem I was writing, not a letter to her. |
Mr. Poe! |
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E: What? |
Is this what passes as your attempt at poetry? "It's just words, how hard can it be!" |
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E: it's difficult to compose work when the subject matter is standing in front of you, naked as Eve! |
Ah! |
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E: Would you stop! This isn't the red light district! Sarah! It's about your Aunt! It's about your Aunt! |
Ahhh! |
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E: Oh shut it! |
Clearly you now believe that you are an artist, and therefore don't have to follow any rules at all. No wonder that you so enjoy pretending to be Poe! Women just drop their clothes at your appearance! |
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E: Sir, believe me when I tell you that Mrs. Dowling is the last person you would ever wish to see. Have you ever encountered a bear? She's like that, only more fearsome. |
What is it now, Mr- |
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E: Brinsley. Mr. Brinsley. I am the butler here. I need to remind you because of your delusions. Might I introduce you to Edgar Allan Poe? |
How nice to meet you, Mr. Poe. It's wonderful that you grace us with your presence. |
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P: Thank you. |
And I am- |
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E: Mrs. Dowling! You are Mrs. Dowling! |
I am? |
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P: This must be some misunderstanding- |
Yes there is quite a bit of misunderstanding - I find your poetry intoxicating. |
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E: Amazing! How could I have been so wrong? |
It's your dementia, Mr. Brinsley. You have forgotten your dementia once again. |
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E: You are correct! |
It's terribly sad, Mr Poe. Mr. Brinsley here used to be a competent servant, but lately he has become increasingly ridiculous. We would run him out into the streets, but he would most likely devolve into an ape like state, and we would discover him naked and frothing at the mouth at the local whorehouse. Isn't that right, Mr. Brinsley. |
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E: Not at all! We don't stand upon ceremony here! In this house most conversations take place in the females' private chambers! Isn't that right, Mrs. Dowling? |
I suppose you are correct, Mr. Brinsley. But I warn you, Mr. Poe, that I am a woman of insatiable appetites. Come along. |
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E: Miss Dowling! I have forgotten something! |
I am not letting you in! |
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E: Damn it! Let me in! |
Never! |
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Helena: SARAH! YOUR BETROTHED IS HERE LOOKING SHEEPISH! |
Mr. Griswold. How kind of you to drop by on such a miserable day. |
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Helena: It's still fairly miserable for the rest of us. |
I believe that we need to keep things cool. Mr. Griswold. I've seen a lot of you in the past few days. It disturbs the happiness of the household. [Edgar burst out of closet] AH THERE YOU ARE MR. POE! |
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E: Yes, of course |
Would you get out of there at once! [Opens closet door] Remove yourself from the closet! |
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A: You're not my mother! And I am certain that was Mr. Poe this time! |
Yes it was! You assaulted him in the closet! |
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A: You're simply jealous because you're in love with Mr. Poe yourself and he prefers me! |
Ha! |
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H: It's true! I've seen it! |
Henry! |
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R: You forget yourself girl! You are my ward and you shall do what I say! Mr. Poe shall marry no one! |
Now wait a minute- |
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A: And another thing, if my Grandmother assents to it, I won't need your permission in any event. She's bound to see out tru love- |
Ha! |
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M: Better than being a sheel-lover |
Henry, you're obviously deeply confused. |
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H: No he is not! He is satisfying her obscene desires! |
Henry. Dear Henry. You are not a smart person. I confess that I have some affection for you, but really, it's very difficult to talk to you for an extended period of time. Mr. Poe is a poet. He is writing a poem. That is his work. |
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H: No! |
Shall I prove it to you? |
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M: Sheep-lover |
[open door] Ahhhh!! |
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R: I too will defend my fiancee's honor! Wait one minute! You look different. |
Your mustache! |
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E: You must believe me- whatever you imagine was happening in that room- |
With my own Aunt! |
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Mary: Yes! I just want them to get to the action. We've been standing around waiting forever. |
As near as I can tell, getting to the action isn't terribly difficult for you. |
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B: All right then. This is all I could scare up. |
Do you imagine we're going to be fighting a war? |
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E: No! Would you please stop?! |
[pick up sword] Ah ha! |
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R: Please, dearest.... |
I feel like I should be attacking someone but I'm not quite sure who. |
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H: Defend your Aunt's honor! |
I suppose that's a good reason. |
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Helena: CEASE THIS MADNESS AT ONCE! Sarah! Explain yourself. |
Well we uh...it seems that Mr. Poe has- affronted a number of persons here so we ...most of us are trying to stab him |
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Helena: Well done. |
I told you I would break the engagement when I wished. |
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M: Good then. |
Don't you have something to confess as well, Mr. Poe? |
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P: I'm more sure! I feel strange. There were voices ..and then I was buried alive .. |
Mr. Poe - wouldn't you care to clear this up? |
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A: WAIT A MINUTE!....One that lives by day, and one that lives by night. That explains everything! |
No it doesn't! |
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E: it's like looking into a mirror! |
Richard! Enough! |
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Helena: Well I'm certainly not going to let someone like you marry my niece. |
Aunt Helena, I am thirty-two years old, and I should like to marry Richard. We don't need any money, we'll survive in our wits- |
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E: Well? Will you marry me? |
Will you promise never to write any more poetry? |
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E: I won't even trym |
Very well then. |
