Sibling Relationships Essay

1398 Words 6 Pages
Sibling Relationships

"I had it first." "No I did." "You always have to get your own way." "Mom, he's hurting me." "You deserved it 'cause you started it." Does any of this sound familiar in your home? It is natural and normal for siblings to be rivals. The wish of every child is to be the sole recipient of the parent's love and attention. When siblings fight, they are usually seeking to be the most loved child. "Sibling rivalry is the fighting that occurs between children as they compete for the attention of their parents" (Faber & Mazlish, 1). Children can be extremely tireless in their abilities and intensity when it comes to conflict with their siblings. They can be masters at fighting and at pulling their parents into the fight
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Feelings of jealousy and favoritism can stand in the way of close sibling relationships (76).
For siblings to love each other, they have to feel that they are loved equally by their parents. Otherwise there is deep resentment on the part of the one who feels less loved, and gloating on the part of the favored one. Siblings then feel ill at ease with each other and quarrels are apt to erupt at the slightest provocation (13).
Sometime in the early years siblings have to accept the impossibility of obtaining the exclusive love of a parent. A parent may feel more love for one child than for another, but there is always some degree of love bestowed on each sibling (5). "As siblings realize and accept this, their hostility eases and they are able to acknowledge that each of them will be loved for his or her own qualities and achievements. They do not need to live in constant anger, feeling unloved" (5-6). Every child possesses the wish to be the favorite, the biggest and the best, but a sibling always threatens this wish (31). "No matter how kind, considerate, warm, and loving parents are, siblings will fight for the parents love" (32). Each child has struggled for a place in the family at one time. Whether it is a struggle to be heard or seen, or to be understood, we are asking someone else to look away from all others and see us (Cohen, 18). "To recognize us for the moment and to give us a pat on the back. In larger

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