One thing many people don’t often talk about is how mental illness can affect how you see yourself. One of the more serious illness is anorexia. Anorexia is a mental illness that causes you to be obsessed with how much you weigh and what you are eating. And trust me it's terrifying when you feel like you have it. I, at one point, thought that I was anorexic based on what people said and how they looked at me. I felt like everyone around me was looking at me with judgment and thinking “she doesn't eat”. It really started back in middle school when someone said something that made me start to see things differently. My mom brought me to a regular check up at the doctors but this time something made me see myself in a different light.
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I still grew but never gained more than a couple pounds every year. Only in freshman year I really started to see it. My sister started to watch me at lunch to see if I was eating, her friends look at me weirdly every time I said I wasn’t hungry and I think that just kept building until I started to believe it. I would go home and sometimes just want to sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was I really anorexic? My parents started to watch me eat at home and would make me eat even when I wasn't hungry. They looked at me with worry and fear in their eyes because I wouldn't eat. Because of what people were saying and doing I started to do the things that an anorexic person would do. I become depressed for awhile, I didn't want to eat or hang out with friends, I wanted to sleep. I hated going shopping because everything I wore made me feel worse about myself. I would look in the mirror and see skin and bones and think to myself how disgusting I was. I think the only reason I started to see myself as beautiful again was because I had someone who saw me. She told me to look in the mirror and say “you're beautiful just the way you are” until I started to believe it. We all need someone like that because we're all beautiful no matter what's said. I am beautiful just the way I am and so are
I still grew but never gained more than a couple pounds every year. Only in freshman year I really started to see it. My sister started to watch me at lunch to see if I was eating, her friends look at me weirdly every time I said I wasn’t hungry and I think that just kept building until I started to believe it. I would go home and sometimes just want to sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Was I really anorexic? My parents started to watch me eat at home and would make me eat even when I wasn't hungry. They looked at me with worry and fear in their eyes because I wouldn't eat. Because of what people were saying and doing I started to do the things that an anorexic person would do. I become depressed for awhile, I didn't want to eat or hang out with friends, I wanted to sleep. I hated going shopping because everything I wore made me feel worse about myself. I would look in the mirror and see skin and bones and think to myself how disgusting I was. I think the only reason I started to see myself as beautiful again was because I had someone who saw me. She told me to look in the mirror and say “you're beautiful just the way you are” until I started to believe it. We all need someone like that because we're all beautiful no matter what's said. I am beautiful just the way I am and so are