Due to my parents dysfunctional relationship I always felt that I had to step up into a parental role because they never united in their parental roles to tackle his addiction. I felt stuck in a triangle between my parents. I sensed that I had to protect my younger brothers from the suffering and hurt that my brother caused due to his illness. I felt that I had to ‘be strong’ all the time. I put on a strong mask and locked away my emotions (fear, anger, hurt, sadness) from my family. I put on this mask in order to survive the suffering. An illustration of the impact and effects my brothers addiction had on my life was severe anxiety. This anxiety was fuelled by suppressed emotions. I battled my anxiety in silence for many months. I got to a point where I could do this no more. I ended up seeking professional help. This professional help relieved the symptoms of my anxiety. I then ceased the …show more content…
This role is known as the apologetic people pleaser. Through my personal development journey I have discovered that I moulded into this role as I had a low self-worth that stemmed from my childhood. My childhood was filled with uncertainty, conflict and family addiction. I was the placate as I did not like conflict and always wanted to please people as I found it easier and less frightening. I felt that my opinion did not count. For example if I was asked to do something that I really didn’t want to do I would do it anyway if I thought it would keep the other person happy. I would ignore my own needs and facilitate the needs of others. It was remarkable to learn about this role and bring my awareness to it as it allowed me to begin to value myself and voice my opinion. This was an invaluable change in my life that offered me freedom and