Raising children the “right” way can soon become a struggle about which traditions to pass on to a child and which to allow them to develop independently, especially for immigrant fathers. Reconciliation of one’s past customs with one’s present values becomes an internal conflict, as shown in Louis Chu’s Eat A Bowl of Tea and Jade Snow Wong’s Fifth Chinese Daughter. Both fathers represent the combination of values from the two countries they are tied to: America and China by juggling New World social customs and Old World traditions. However, Wang Wah Gay adopts an Americanized, liberal approach to the traditional Chinese values and prescribed gender roles, while Mr. Wong maintains a stricter, narrower view of them and refuses to succumb to
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These biased roles placed on their children are there to ensure that Chinese daughters become moral, quiet, and proper, while Chinese sons are expected to be hardworking, yet can do whatever they want morally. As mentioned in Fifth Chinese Daughter, Jade Snow’s biggest dilemma as a child was “…what was proper and improper in the behavior of a little Chinese girl” (Wong, 2). Therefore, from an early age, Jade Snow had these customs ingrained in her head and even worse, she learned to associate these strict roles as a normal sign of love from her father. Because he taught her Chinese and carried her on his shoulders, then that meant “Father must love her” (Wong, 2). Jade Snow learned that to gain her father’s affection, she had to act a certain way. She was conditioned to believe this, and she continued to act like a good Chinese daughter because she craved this acceptance. Meanwhile, Wang Wah Gay provided Ben Loy with a childhood that allowed him to choose what he wanted to do, for the most part. Instead of applying strict Chinese traditions on his son, Wang Wah Gay feared that his son would become too much like him because he exposed his Ben Loy to American culture instead of Chinese culture for his entire life. As stated in Eat A Bowl of Tea, “What made the job more difficult was the fact that Wah Gay himself had not set a good example for Ben Loy to follow” (Chu, 28). Therefore, both men strive to keep their children from assimilating to the American society so easily, but go about it in opposite ways. Although Mr. Wong sends Jade to an American public school and orders her to respect her American teachers, he still wants her to uphold Chinese tradition and not succumb to the pull of America. Although he believes that women should be educated and strive for economic success, which differs from the ideal of an obedient, quiet girl, he shows only apathy when Jade admits that she wants to go to college. This
These biased roles placed on their children are there to ensure that Chinese daughters become moral, quiet, and proper, while Chinese sons are expected to be hardworking, yet can do whatever they want morally. As mentioned in Fifth Chinese Daughter, Jade Snow’s biggest dilemma as a child was “…what was proper and improper in the behavior of a little Chinese girl” (Wong, 2). Therefore, from an early age, Jade Snow had these customs ingrained in her head and even worse, she learned to associate these strict roles as a normal sign of love from her father. Because he taught her Chinese and carried her on his shoulders, then that meant “Father must love her” (Wong, 2). Jade Snow learned that to gain her father’s affection, she had to act a certain way. She was conditioned to believe this, and she continued to act like a good Chinese daughter because she craved this acceptance. Meanwhile, Wang Wah Gay provided Ben Loy with a childhood that allowed him to choose what he wanted to do, for the most part. Instead of applying strict Chinese traditions on his son, Wang Wah Gay feared that his son would become too much like him because he exposed his Ben Loy to American culture instead of Chinese culture for his entire life. As stated in Eat A Bowl of Tea, “What made the job more difficult was the fact that Wah Gay himself had not set a good example for Ben Loy to follow” (Chu, 28). Therefore, both men strive to keep their children from assimilating to the American society so easily, but go about it in opposite ways. Although Mr. Wong sends Jade to an American public school and orders her to respect her American teachers, he still wants her to uphold Chinese tradition and not succumb to the pull of America. Although he believes that women should be educated and strive for economic success, which differs from the ideal of an obedient, quiet girl, he shows only apathy when Jade admits that she wants to go to college. This