Child Abuse In Van Derbur's Life

The key points of this book are to listen to what our children are saying, to love unconditionally the children in our lives, to educate those all around us about child abuse, to aid those around us to understand the effects of child abuse, and to speak up as allies for the victims of child abuse. As parents or caregivers it is our jobs to listen to what the children are saying and believe them. It is our job to love the children unconditionally and demonstrate this behavior. Society needs to be educated as to the effects that child abuse has on a family. Resources need to be offered and available in every nook and cranny around the world as that is where the abuse is happening. Society needs to speak up and tell the world that there is …show more content…
Van Derbur’s mother lets her down here. It appears that the outward display of love from her mother did not exist in Van Derbur’s life. These emotions were validated when Van Derbur talked with Norma, the nanny, she found out that her mother never rocked her, held her, or cuddled her. Van Derbur’s mother showed an aversion to commitment and did not support any of her daughters, this is an example of inappropriate parenting. When families are strong and function adequately, they are able to deal with stress and problems that occur in daily life. These strong bonds enable a family to deal with delicate issues like child abuse should they occur. These families are able to show their love and appreciation for each other; they are spontaneous, honest, open, and receptive to one another, even with negative feelings; they enjoy spending time together; they have definite and clear values; and stress and crises are faced with optimism with the purpose of finding solutions. This was not the Van Derbur family. Society needs further education on how to respond to it’s citizens in dire need for assistance, children or adults. If teachers were more educated on what to seek out, would someone have noticed Van Derbur’s inability to stretch as a teen and reached out to her. When a community provides childcare services, the quality of family life in the community is often improved and this is related to a lower incidence of child abuse …show more content…
Van Derbur was born into a family of abuse and dysfunction. Trauma was a way of survival for Van Derbur, without the brain suppressing memories and experiences it is grueling to continue with life. Van Derbur shows us that with time and support you can heal. She still had compassion and a desire to benefit others, even though her pain was exteme. Van Derbur received her support as she dealt with each problem and as she dealt with her inner demons she also assisted countless others. She made being a victim of abuse something not be ashamed of and her own family relationships boosted her through the difficult times of her life. Van Derbur shows other victims that you cannot surrender the search to find the treatment that works for you and not to be afraid of walking away and testing something different. Van Derbur was constantly trying to remove the pain in her body which was attributed to the years of forced sex with her father. I cannot imagine the amount of people that she assisted just by writing this book and she did not just write her story, but she included how to aid the abused and where to seek counseling too. Van Derbur’s mother has plenty to answer for after her father, the perpetrator. She, as a mother, is the ultimate protector of her children, and she failed Van Derbur and her sisters. I have not left my children with other people since child