After experiencing the meanness of my mother’s death, I shunned my life by blaming God for the pain I felt. I had questioned my faith in the existence of such a cruel God. I called life unfair because every other kid in my fifth grade class still had their parents. I questioned if living with a broken family was considered living a life. However, in the end, I met my life and lived it. I accepted that in order to help the family, I would need to grow up quicker than the other kids at schools. I realized life wasn’t fair. But, I also realized that I was lucky; my mother and I had four years to say everything we need to say before our goodbyes. Often times, deaths are abrupt and loved ones never have the chance to say that final “I love you.” Life is unfair, but I know I want to continue living each day for my loved ones. Through meeting the meanness of life, I have successfully continued to living my life without shunning it—exactly the way Thoreau had concluded when facing the meanness of life.
Through my reflection of similar conclusions Thoreau and I share, the Bayard’s “paradox of reading” rings true (Bayard). Bayard claims that book reading is a “path toward ourselves” (Bayard). The conclusions that you should live your live however mean are reflected in my actions. Despite first shunning life and calling it hard names, I successfully meet and live the meanness in my life. I now see myself in book I would have never expected to reflect my values. I am also able to look at perhaps my most life-changing event more objectively, allowing me to understand my actions and conclusions in