While smoking in his hotel room one evening, he recalls memories he had once shared with Allie. Pretending Allie was still with him he “... start[s] talking, sort of out loud, to Allie…”, and then explains, “...I do that sometimes when I get very depressed” (Salinger 110). During this time, Holden is trying to change a past event with Allie to comfort himself, but the past cannot be undone. The same way Holden cannot change what happened, he cannot bring Allie back to life. Instead of accepting this concept and moving forward, he reminisces these memories and ideas. He continues to go over the past and allows it to affect his future thoughts and behaviors. Emphasizing how Holden’s depression affects his daily life, he states “I do that sometimes when I get very depressed” (Salinger 110). This implies that his action is a result or effect of his depression. In a way, it prevents Holden from being able to perform normal activities. Instead, he finds himself talking to his dead brother, who in reality is not there with him. Holden’s depression holds him back from creating a future for …show more content…
After aimlessly traveling through his hometown, New York City, Holden finally goes to see his younger sister, Phoebe. When speaking with Phoebe after sneaking back into his family’s apartment, he whispers to her, “Thousands of little kids and nobody’s around - nobody big I mean - except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff . What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to to go over the cliff” (Salinger 191). This reveals Holden’s desire to be the protector of childhood innocence. Holden’s view of childhood innocence is one that is surrounded by all his own past memories. He is stuck and obsesses with this idea and continues to constantly relive these past moments. Holden has an unrealistic view of childhood to avoid the complexities of the real world to continue living in his past. To Holden, he “...[has] to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff” (Salinger 191) because this cliff represents the end of childhood. Once childhood has been jumped off of and gone, there is no more innocence. Holden does not want to lose his innocence and be an adult because with adulthood comes the acceptance of Allie’s death. However, Holden is not yet ready to let go of Allie and therefore wants to also spare others the pain of entering the adult world of acceptance too. Holden’s obsession