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153 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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What attitudes have changed about casual sex since the 20th century?
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Sex outside of marriage is now perceived as okay, but a majority said it's not okay unless you are in a committed relationship
It can be called permissiveness with affection |
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What type of women do men like to DATE?
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Sexually experienced
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What type of women do men want to MARRY?
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Sexually inexperienced; virgins
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What type of men do women want to DATE?
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Sexually inexperienced
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What type of men do women want to MARRY?
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Sexually inexperienced
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How many American's believed that homosexuality was wrong in 1996?
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62%
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How many American's believed that homosexuality was wrong in 1973?
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More then 81%
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What is assumed about gay and lesbian couples and their relationship?
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That they are dysfunctional and unhappy
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What are the most conservative sexual countries?
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Poland, Northern Ireland, Iran, Bulgaria, and THE US
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What are the more permissive sexual countries?
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Canada, Germany, Netherlands, Russia
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What is the average age of loss of virginity for men?
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16
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What is the average age of loss of virginity for women?
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17
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What are predictors of when sexual activity will begin?
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Attitudes and values
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What types of kids are more likely to become pregnant?
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Have trouble in school
Have a lower Socio-Economic Status Are more popular |
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What are some characteristics of people who are sexually active?
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Usually value independence and early autonomy
Are usually more physically mature Some may have problems with self-restraint Girls - more likely to not have a father present. Boys - more likely to have had a family shift from having to not having a father. |
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How often do married couples have sex?
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2x a week
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How often do couples that are living together, but are not married have sex?
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3x a week
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Who has more sex in the beginning of a relationship, Gay or lesbian couples?
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Gay
At 10 years together, however, they have sex less often than heterosexual couples |
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Which group of people have the least amount of sex?
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Lesbian couples
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What factors affect the amount of sex?
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Age, type of relationship, living status
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What percentage of men REPORTED having an affair?
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25%
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What percentage of women REPORTED having an affair?
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15%
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Who has more affairs, with more partners, men or women?
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Men
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Who has more affairs, gay or lesbian couples?
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Gay couples
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What is sociosexual orientation?
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What individuals believe about having sex outside of a committed relationship
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What is a restricted view?
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Sex only in committed relationship.
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What is an unrestricted view?`
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Closeness not needed for engaging in sexual behavior
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What is a predictor in whether or not affairs are present?
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The quality of a relationship
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When do underbenefitters have affairs?
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9-11 years
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When do overbenifitters have affairs?
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12-15 years
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How many college students use condoms?
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30%
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What percentage of men will "hook up" in college?
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47%
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What percentage of women will "hook up" in college?
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33%
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How many men "hooked up" during spring break?
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15%, but more wanted to
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How many women will "hook up" during spring break?
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13%, more wanted to
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Why are college students not using condoms?
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Embarrassment, alcohol, attitudes, and "not to me"
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Is sexual satisfaction tied to frequency?
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OH YEAH!
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Does having good sex make a good relationship and visa vera?
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YES
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Couples who argue a lot.....
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Have a lot of sex
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What is needed to keep marital happiness?
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A positive balance
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What is IEMSS?
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Interpersonal Exchange Model Of Sexual Satisfaction
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What does IEMSS use?
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Costs, rewards, and comparison levels
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What is the equity theory?
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Couples who feel their relationship is equitable also report more sexual satisfaction
Generally there was very little difference between equitable and slightly overbenefitting |
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Are we comfortable talking about sex?
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No
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How do we convey desire?
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Verbal and nonverbal
Nonverbal signals are the most often used |
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Who is more likely to initiate sexual activity?
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Men
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Why is communication about issues hard to discuss with your partner?
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Hurting partner's feelings
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What leads to higher satisfaction in relationships?
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Open and clear communication
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What percentage of women are raped?
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13%
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What percentage of men report being raped?3
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3%
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Rape numbers may be low because.....
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Embarrassment, frightened, aren't sure of rape
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Can rape happen between married couples?
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Yes
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What is shyness?
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Fretting about social disapproval and anticipate unfavorable judgments
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What are the results of being shy?
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Interactions that are impoverished.
Common in unfamiliar settings and meeting attractive individuals for first time. Usually accompanied by low self-esteem and lower levels of social skills. This often leads to making the negative impressions one hopes to avoid. |
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Does it ever help?
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Novel situations when you don’t know how to behave.
This may keep you from doing something inappropriate. |
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What is jealousy?
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Negative emotional experience that results from the loss of a relationship.
This can be imagined or real! Hurt, anger, and fear define jealousy. Has been observed in children as young as 2. In the 50’s and 60’s jealousy was considered good (it showed love). |
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What are the two types of jealousy?
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Reactive and suspicious
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What is reactive jealousy?
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Occurs when someone becomes aware of an actual threat.
It doesn’t have to be a current event. Can be as serious as sex w/ someone else, or as simple as flirting. 66% of men and 50% of women say they have kissed and fondled someone else. |
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What is suspicious jealousy?
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When a partner hasn’t done anything wrong.
Results in over vigilance and snooping. This may lead to paranoia or overactive imagination. |
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Who is prone to jealousy?
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Those who are dependent on the relationship.
When feelings of inadequacy are high. If one is more desirable than the other Those who are preoccupied with a relationship. Individuals who promote sexual exclusivity (who want and expect their partners to be monogamous). Traditional gender roles |
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What makes women jealous?
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Deep emotional attachments to other men
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What makes men jealous?
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Sexual encounters of their wife with another man.
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What is deception and lying?
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Intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows is false.
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What actions do deceit and lying include?
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Concealing information
Diverting attention from vital facts Telling half-truths |
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How many lies do we tell a day?
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2
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What is the deceiver's mistrust?
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Seeing the recipient of our lies as less trustworthy and less honest.
Liar’s think their lies are less offensive than their receiver does. Those who lie are more likely to be identified as the leader of a group. People lying to attractive individuals are easy to detect. |
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How can you tell if someone is lying?
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Speaking hesitantly
Higher pitch voice Grammatical errors Pupils dilate Blink more often Microexpressions Discrepancies between tone and facial expression |
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What does betrayal do to a relationship?
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Results in relational devaluation
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What does betrayal make us realize?
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Realization that our partners doesn’t:
Love us as much as expected Respect us Accept us as much as they used to Value the relationship |
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What is power?
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A has something B wants, in order to get it, B will do what A wishes. A has the power.
You only have to have access to resources to hold power (DeBeers) Desire for the resource sets the power level. |
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What are the two laws of power?
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Personal Exploitation
Principal of Least Interest |
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What is the law of Personal Exploitation?
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The person who cares less in the relationship has the power to exploit the person who cares more.
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What is the principle of least interest?
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Person who has less interest in continuing and maintaining the relationship has more power.
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What is a reward?
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give or take away something partner likes.
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What is a punishment?
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do something they don’t like or take away something liked.
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What is authority?
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they recognize your authority to tell them what to do (police).
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What is respect?
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identify w/ you and want to remain close
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What is expertise?
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you have the understanding they desire
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What is knowledge?
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you possess some specific knowledge they desire
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What are the types of resources?
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Reward
Punishment Authority Respect Expertise Knowledge |
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Where do men get power?
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Men are perceived to have greater power just by being men.
Men seem to have power based on wealth and status, women seem to have power based on love and sex. |
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Where do women get power?
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Women who did not have intercourse with a partner reported more power than those who had.
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Power and Language........
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Most visible sign of power
Usually occurs in heterosexual relationships Generally, men interrupt women Women only dominate feminine topics Speaking out may carry consequences Assertive speakers seen as confident, competent |
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What are some nonverbal behaviors?
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Facial expressions, touch, posture all denote power.
For some touches, context may be more important that establishing power. Cross-sex touching occurs more than same-sex. |
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What types of power do women use?
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Personal power – appeals to affection or sexuality
Manipulative power – appeals based on helplessness |
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What types of power do men use?
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Coercion, authority
Expertise |
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What is the difference between Implementation and Orchestration?
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Can influence outcomes of studies about power.
May underestimate women’s power Men and women don’t usually agree on power in relationships anyway. Female dominance is still less acceptable today. |
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Men and power and personality.........
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For men, the more education, the less need for power.
Opposite for women. Men w / high power needs are more likely to: Have lower relationship satisfaction Have lower love for partner Have higher rates of problems in relationship This one applies to women needing high power, also. |
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Power and understanding........
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The subordinate knows more about those in power than vice-versa.
Men and women generally respond positively to the masculine stereotype. This leads to happier couples Does not apply to the female stereotype Research is being done to see how couples view the female stereotype. |
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What are the power patterns?
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Husband-dominant
Wife-dominant Syncretic Autonomic |
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What is husband-dominant?
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Husband is the boss
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What is wife-dominant?
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Wife is boss
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What is syncretic?
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authority is shared, so are decisions
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What is autonomic?
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each spouse has an area of expertise, choices are made by the expert.
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What are the communication dynamics?
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Symmetrical interaction
Competitive symmetry Submissive symmetry Neutralized symmetry Complementary interaction |
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What is symmetrical interaction?
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both partners send similar signals about relationships
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What is competitive symmetry?
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conflict between partners escalates
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What is submissive symmetry?
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partner gives power to the other.
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What is neutralized symmetry?
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respect; try to avoid exerting control.
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What is complimentary interaction?
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partners each assume either dominant or submissive roles.
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What helps in power struggles?
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Discussing
Explaining Asking Telling Bargaining Negotiating |
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What can harm of help with power?
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Being Nice
Persuading |
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What are tactics that harm?
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Acting helpless
Overprotecting Deceiving Lying Outwitting Criticizing Acting dependent Scape goating Gas-lighting Punishing Blackmailing Expressing anger Acting cruel |
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What is interpersonal conflict?
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Incompatibility between people; interactions that express opposing views or opinions.
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How often does interpersonal conflict to occur?
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3.3 over dinner for families
2.3 / week for dating couples |
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How does personality affect conflict?
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High neuroticism = high conflict
Similar preferences = less disagreement |
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How does age affect conflict?
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Younger = more conflict
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What are some topics and issues?
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Illegitimate demands
Rebuffs Cumulative annoyances |
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What are illegitimate demands?
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Asking you to do something unjust.
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What are rebuffs?
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Failure to get the reaction you’re aiming for.
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What are cumulative annoyances?
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Repeated irritating events.
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What is Buss' Evolutionary Perspective?
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Women may become frustrated by:
Men’s early initiation of sexual advances Frequent or aggressive sexual advances Desire for multiple partners Men may become frustrated by: Withholding sex Wanting sex less often Conditions met before having sex |
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What are some types of Buss' evolutionary perspective?
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Tacit conflict
Mock conflict Déjà vu |
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What is tacit conflict?
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Avoid hurting other individual, avoid escalation.
Most commonly used with friends |
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What is mock conflict?
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Conflict just for the fun of it
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What is Déjà vu?
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Same conflict over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over…
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What are some attributions during conflict?
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1. More active during conflict
2. Benign view of own stance (our side is good, and we have excuses for our own bad behavior) 3. Attributional conflict may arise This leads to conflict over motives Instead of what they did, it becomes why they did |
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Who does demand withdrawal work for?
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European and NA couples
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Why would we demand or withdrawal?
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Conflict – structure hypothesis – One partner’s goals involve cooperation from the other.
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What is conflict/Structure hypothesis?
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One partner’s goals involve cooperation from the other.
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What is accommodation?
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Stopping the destructive impulse.
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What are the response categories?
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Exit
Voice Loyalty Neglect |
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What is exit?
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Actively destructive (threats, hitting)
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What is voice?
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Constructively discussing or addressing problem
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What is loyalty?
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Waiting for conditions to improve; defending partner
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What is neglect?
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Avoiding critical issues, nagging partner.
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What are couple conflict types?
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Volatiles
Validators Avoiders Hostiles |
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What are ways to terminate conflict?
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Separation
Domination Compromise Integrative agreement |
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What is separation?
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One or both partners withdraw (parting shots are common)
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What is domination?
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One person gets what they want (usually more powerful)
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What is compromise?
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Both agree to “give in” a little to meet in the middle ground
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What is integrative agreement?
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Both partners get what they originally wanted
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What happens once the conflict has ended?
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Structural Improvement may take place
Know more about partner Attribute valued qualities to partner More trust Thus, more open to communication Improved relationship quality |
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Is fighting good?
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More avoided conflicts = less satisfaction
How you handle conflict leads to + or – in relationship quality Some say fighting increases intimacy |
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What is hurt?
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Did your fighter feel offended or weak (-)
Did your fighter not feel offended or weak (+) |
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What is information?
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Fighter learned information (+)
Fighter learns nothing new (-) |
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What is resolution?
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Issue is more likely to be resolved (+)
Issue is not likely to be resolved (-) |
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What is control?
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Power is now more equal (+)
Power is now more unequal (-) |
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What is fear?
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Of fighting or of the partner is reduced (+)
Is now increased (-) |
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What is trust?
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Feelings of “good faith” in fighting (+)
Less confidence in other’s good will (-) |
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What is revenge?
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Intentions to take revenge lessened (+)
Intentions are stimulated (-) |
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What is reconciliation?
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Partner tries to undo any harm done, welcomes similar efforts (+)
No attempt to undo harm or reconcile (-) |
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What is centricity?
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More concerned about partner than topic (+)
Topic takes precedence (-) |
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What is self-count?
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Fighter feels better about him/herself (+)
Fighter feels worse (-) |
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What is catharsis?
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Fighter feels cleared of tension, aggression (+)
At least as tense as before, maybe more (-) |
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What is cohesion-affection?
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Closeness and attraction increased (+)
Closeness and attraction decrease (-) |
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What is total score?
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Out of a possible 12 points, count +1 for each (+), and – 1 for each (-).
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What is violence?
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An act carried out with the intention of, or an act perceived as having the intention of, physically hurting another person.
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How big is the conflict tactics scale?
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1-8
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How often is a woman assaulted?
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Every 17 seconds
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What is patriarchal terrorism?
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Result of patriarchal society
Man controls every aspect of what wife does Abuse usually escalates over time |
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Who is more likely to use violent acts against their spouse?
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Women, the difference is small though
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What are correlates for violence?
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Stressful events
Loss of a job Unplanned pregnancy Low SES, including little education Family background Growing up in a violent family More likely to abuse spouse and children |
