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44 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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Listening process |
1. Noise 2. hearing 3. selecting 4. attending 5.understanding 6. evaluate 7. responding 8. remembering |
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Importance of listening |
To become mindful in order to listen |
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Pseudo listening |
pretending you're listening
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Obstacles to effective listening |
Internal - psychological nosies External- outside noises |
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FILO |
First in, Last out
Men initiate, women terminate |
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reasons for relationship development |
To feel less lonely secure stimulation acquire self knowledge |
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factors contributing to forming relationships |
1. Appearance 2. stimulating 3. Complementary 4. rewards 5. proximity 6. disclosure |
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Knapp Model of Relationship; Coming together |
1. Initiating 2. experimenting 3. intensifying 4. integrating 5. bonding |
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Knapp Model of Relationship: Falling apart |
1. differentiating
2. circumscribing 3. stagnating 4. avoiding 5. terminating |
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Relationship maintenance |
An emotional attachment convenience fear finical advantages inertia |
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Why marriages fail |
• The quality of communication is the best predictor of a successful marriage • A “magic ratio” 5:1 |
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four horseman |
Criticism-making someone right or wrong Defensiveness-seeing self as victim Contempt-psychological abuse Stonewalling-withdrawing from relationship to avoid conflict |
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dark side of interpersonal |
deception, revenge, intimate, violence, jealousy etc. |
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eros |
Passionate style of love |
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ludus |
playful love, no commitment |
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pragma |
Practical love. |
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storge |
Love grows gradually out of friendship |
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mania |
Obsessive love. |
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agape |
Unconditional love |
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Types of intimacy |
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gender differences in intimacy |
Women are more interested than men inachieving emotional intimacy. Men more likely to create/express closenessby doing things together |
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cultural differences in intimacy |
Greatest differencesbetween Asian and European cultures involve rules for dealing with intimacy (showing emotion, expressing affection, sex, and respecting privacy) Cultural differencesbecoming less prominent |
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friendships |
A voluntary relationship that provides social support. |
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family |
system with two or more interdependent people who have a common history and a present reality and who expect to influence each other in the future |
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conformist vs. conversationalist |
Conversationalist- interact freely, recently & spontaneous Conformity- seek harmony. interdependence, obedience. |
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4 types combination |
Consensual- lots of discussion Pluralistic- you make decision Protective- helicopter parents Laissez-faire- everyone does what they want |
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triangular theory of love |
Intimacy: closeness and connectedness Passion: physical attraction and emotionalarousal Commitment: decision to maintain relationship |
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social media influence |
Social media impacts relationship Can be a distraction but… Communication via mediated channels helpmaintain relationships Couples’ use of social networking reflects andaffects how they feel about each other |
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collaborating |
Treating conflict as a mutualproblem-solving challenge |
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compromising |
Gives both people at least some of what theywant, although both sacrifice part of their goals |
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emotion management |
Being aware of your emotions; take time to clearyour thoughts and never speak or make decisions in anger |
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gunnysacking |
An unproductive conflict strategy of storing upgrievances – as if in a gunnysack – and holding them in readiness to dump on the opponent in a disagreement |
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kitchen-sinking |
Combatants throw accusations at each other thathave little to do with the disagreement at hand |
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force |
Physically overpowering the other person, either bythreat or actual behavior |
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verbal aggression |
blaming, name calling, threatening |
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empathy |
Trying to understand another person’s position byputting yourself in their shoes |
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fair fighting |
Taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings(“I disagree with…”) Avoid statements that deny your responsibility (“Everybody thinks you are wrong about…”) |
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Rusbult's conflict model |
1. Exit 2. Neglect 3. Loyalty 4. Voice |
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monopolizing/ stage hogging |
putting attention on yourself |
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selective listening |
only listening to things that interest you |
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insulated |
ignore info you don't want to hear |
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defensive listening |
being defensive & attacking |
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ambushing |
bombarding someone |
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literal listening |
ignore context, focus on content |
