Lios Rc 1 Group Membership

Front 1

Describe the Self-Awareness Model (Levey) from the center and then clockwise from the top

Back 1

Sensing at the center, then clockwise from Top Left:
Thoughts/Story/Interpretation
Feelings/Emotional Reaction
Body sensations
Wants/Actions

Front 2

What are the characteristics of the Interpersonal Gap (Wallen)?

Back 2

-Intentions and Impacts are Private
-Intention encoded into action, can only be inferred by recipient
-Action decoded into Impact, can only be inferred by actor

Front 3

What are the Skills for Sender & Receiver in the Interpersonal Gap?

Back 3

Curiosity
Paraphrase
Perception checking

Front 4

In the Interpersonal Gap Model, what do you do in the role of the sender?

Back 4

1) Describe behavior interpreted as sign of mis-impact
2) State inference, check for accuracy of inference
3) Disclose intent

Front 5

In the Interpersonal Gap Model, what do you do in the role of the receiver?

Back 5

1) Describe behavior, paraphrase
2) Report impact / inference
3) Check for accuracy of inference

Front 6

What is the focus of the Response-Ability Axis / Immediacy Model (Weber)?

Back 6

What – exactly – is going on for me here in this moment?

Front 7

In the Response-Ability Axis / Immediacy Model (Weber), describe the top of the axis.

Back 7

Precision/Focus (Top): From Abstract & General to Specific Internal Experience & External Behavior

Front 8

In the Response-Ability Axis / Immediacy Model (Weber), , describe the right of the axis.

Back 8

Person (Right): From General (You, Them, We, Us) to I

Front 9

In the Response-Ability Axis / Immediacy Model (Weber), describe the bottom of the axis.

Back 9

Place (Bottom): There, Outside talk, Triangulation vs. Here

Front 10

In the Response-Ability Axis / Immediacy Model (Weber), describe the left of the axis.

Back 10

Time (Left): Past/Future vs. Now

Front 11

What are the 5 aspects of the Diamond Model of Integrity (Weber)?

Back 11

Differentiation
Attunement
Honesty
Creativity
Learning

Front 12

Describe "Differentiation" in the Diamond Model of Integrity (Weber)

Back 12

Differentiation (Trust Axis):
Requires Clarity & Courage
Pitfalls
-Lack of self-awareness
-Lack of courage to stand forth with new, challenging ideas
Self-awareness (thoughts, body, feelings, wants)
Respond reflectively, not reactively
Self-responsible (I position)
Self-definition – being clear within self

Front 13

Describe "Attunement" in the Diamond Model of Integrity (Weber)

Back 13

Attunement (Trust Axis):
Love our ideas but remain open to learning from others
Requires open, confident heart
Move toward the world of the other
Skilled inquiry – intent to discover
Aware of impact on the other
Clear feedback

Front 14

Describe "Honesty" in the Diamond Model of Integrity (Weber)

Back 14

Honesty (Vitality Axis – Drive?):
Focus on self-knowledge, self-honesty
Also, willingness to speak our truth, seek others’ truths
Explore own defenses, shadow
Can reveal self without losing contact with the other
Congruity with body responses

Front 15

Describe "Creativity" in the Diamond Model of Integrity (Weber)

Back 15

Creativity (Vitality Axis – Drive?):
Constant dialectic between
-Experience (what has been)
-Expectation (what might be)
Vital life through:
-Being attuned to but not driven by past
-Open to but not spooked by or mesmerized by potential future
Open to discontinuous thinking, deconstruction of cherished ideas
Reframe situations
Openness / adaptability

Front 16

Describe "Learning" in the Diamond Model of Integrity (Weber)

Back 16

Learning at Center:
Live with Confidence, not Certainty
Every situation is a learning opportunity
Anyone can be my teacher

Front 17

What is the use of the Relational Awareness Model / Awareness Dance (Williamson / Weber)?

Back 17

Tool to find what else I might bring to the conversation

Front 18

Describe "Differentiation" in the Relational Awareness Model / Awareness Dance (Williamson / Weber):

Back 18

Locate myself
What do I / don’t I know about me?

Front 19

Describe "Attunement" in the Relational Awareness Model / Awareness Dance (Williamson / Weber):

Back 19

Locate the other
What do I / Don’t I know about you?

Front 20

Describe "Curiosity" in the Relational Awareness Model / Awareness Dance (Williamson / Weber):

Back 20

What I don’t know yet in general

Front 21

When does intensity occur?

Back 21

Occurs when we believe that what we desire is threatened

Front 22

What would occur without intensity?

Back 22

Without intensity, there is no growth

Front 23

What are the 3 categories in the Ladder of Accountability (in increasing levels of accountability)?

Back 23

Abdicating Behavior
Accountable Behavior
Skills and Actions

Front 24

In the Ladder of Accountability, what are the levels of accountability in Abdicating Behavior (in increasing levels of accountability)?

Back 24

Denial of situation/pain/problem
Blame others
Excuses – “if only”, “I can’t”
Wait and Hope

Front 25

In the Ladder of Accountability, what are the levels of accountability in Accountable Behavior (in increasing levels of accountability)?

Back 25

Acknowledge Reality
Own it, take a position
Find/create solutions
Implement Solutions

Front 26

In the Ladder of Accountability, what are the levels of accountability in Skills & Actions (in increasing levels of accountability)?

Back 26

Evaluate – identify my current stance/position on ladder
Choose – what position do I want to be in?
Act – what do I need to do in order to move to desired position?

Front 27

What are two examples of co-created patterns?

Back 27

1) Over-functioning/Underfunctioning
2) Triangulation

Front 28

Describe Over-functioning/Under-functioning:

Back 28

A recurring pattern in relationships where one person works really hard to make things work and the other doesn't contribute much at all. Over-functioner works hard, complains they get no support, indirectly communicates
Underfunctioner is somehow not qualified, doesn’t contribute much at all, gets message that their effort wouldn’t be appreciated and thinks “why bother?”

Front 29

Describe Triangulation:

Back 29

A recurring pattern in response to a poorly functioning pair is involving a third person in the pattern to relieve the tension. However, the third person prolongs the ineffective pattern.
Common triangular pattern: Victim/Persecutor/Rescuer, Rescuer may shift to Persecutor, Persecutor to Victim, Victim to Rescuer

Front 30

Describe how to manage triangulation during times of conflict:

Back 30

Help people talk directly to others rather than about others.
Resolve differences directly.
E.g. when A is in conflict with B, comes to C (me)
Help A ventilate
Challenge is to remain unbiased toward B
Help A become clear / formulate direct action
Challenge – to maintain positive relationship with A while encouraging self-accountability
Choose to stop colluding
E.G. if pattern continues without shift
Intervene with both A and B
Challenges: Remain neutral, avoid over-functioning

Front 31

Describe Feedback:

Back 31

Feedback consists of sharing a behavior description and the impact that the behavior has had upon you as an observer.

Front 32

What are the 7 skills in giving feedback?

Back 32

1) Begin by offering feedback and asking if it is wanted.
2) “Own” your feedback as simply part of your experience.
3) Offer the feedback as information, and not as a demand for change.
4) Provide a description of the other person’s behavior.
5) Share the impact that this behavior has had on you.
6) Approach the conversation as a two-way learning process.
7) Be open to feedback from the other person.

Front 33

What are the 6 skills in receiving feedback?

Back 33

1) Seek and welcome feedback, as a way to gather information about yourself.
2) Approach the conversation as a two-way learning process.
3) Remember, feedback is simply information.
4) Use active listening skills to receive feedback. (See section on Active Listening.)
5) Describe the impact of the feedback to the other person.
6) Hold feedback lightly. Strike a balance between rejecting it outright and “swallowing it whole.”

Front 34

What are the 7 mental habits that lead to distortion?

Back 34

1) Selective Perception
2) Over-generalization
3) Mind-reading
4) Jumping to conclusions
5) Exaggeration
6) Idealization
7) Personalization

Front 35

Describe SELECTIVE PERCEPTION

Back 35

Seeing things only one way, while discounting all evidence to the contrary

Front 36

Describe the potential antidote to SELECTIVE PERCEPTION

Back 36

Antidotes: Awareness of multiple possible realities, unexplained contributions; think systemically

Front 37

Describe OVERGENERALIZATION

Back 37

Taking a single event and using it to describe or predict a perpetual pattern (often introduced with "always" or "never")

Front 38

Describe potential antidotes to OVERGENERALIZATION

Back 38

Antidotes: Look for exceptions

Front 39

Describe MIND-READING

Back 39

Attributing the worst motives and intentions to another to explain why they have done something

Front 40

Describe potential antidotes to MIND-READING

Back 40

Antidotes: No one really knows the other

Front 41

Describe JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

Back 41

Concluding that the worst beliefs are valid, despite the absence of real evidence

Front 42

Describe potential antidotes to JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

Back 42

Antidotes: Remain open & curious

Front 43

Describe EXAGGERATION

Back 43

A trivial fact is mistaken for a catastrophe

Front 44

Describe potential antidotes to EXAGGERATION

Back 44

Antidotes: Investigate assertion

Front 45

Describe IDEALIZATION

Back 45

Believing things "should" be a certain way, and anything short of that is flawed, wrong, or bad

Front 46

Describe potential antidotes to IDEALIZATION

Back 46

Antidotes: Examine true priorities – what’s really important?

Front 47

Describe PERSONALIZATION

Back 47

To fell personally responsible for situations out of one's control

Front 48

Describe potential antidotes to PERSONALIZATION

Back 48

Antidotes: Identify that which is/isn’t in my control

Front 49

What are the 5 main areas of Emotional Intelligence according to Goleman?

Back 49

1) Self-Awareness (Knowing my state)
2) Self-Regulation (Managing my state)
3) Motivation (facilitates reaching goals)
4) Empathy (awareness of others feelings, needs, concerns)
5) Social Skills (adeptness in producing desirable responses in others)

Front 50

What is behavior description?

Back 50

A behavior description is a report of specific, observable actions rather than inferences, evaluations or interpretations. It is a description of what happened, not why.

Front 51

What is the first test of a behaviour description?

Back 51

A behavior description reports specific, observable actions.

Front 52

What is the second test of a behaviour description?

Back 52

A behavior description is non-evaluative,

Front 53

What is the role of the coach in a Skills Group?

Back 53

The role of the coach in a Skills Group is to help raise the partner’s self awareness. As an outside observer, a coach can enhance and accelerate the learning process.

Front 54

What are the 9 aspects of coaching?

Back 54

1) Active, engaged observing & listening
2) Specific behavior Description
3) Clarification
4) Perception-checking
5) Acknowledgment
6) Inquire as to impact
7) Report of impact
8) Check on feedback given (what did you hear me say?)
9) Tentative judgments/hypotheses

Front 55

What are the 8 aspects that are not a part of effective coaching?

Back 55

1) Evaluation of performance
2) Moral judgments
3) Advice-giving
4) Psychodynamic or diagnostic interpretations/speculations/explanations
5) Persistent questioning to gather information or the sustained recounting of personal experiences by either partner
6) Comments about other group members or comparisons
7) Side talking
8) Random free associations

Front 56

What are the Four "Ways"?

Back 56

1) Way of the Warrior
2) Way of the Healer
3) Way of the Visionary
4) Way of the Teacher

Front 57

Describe the Way of the Warrior

Back 57

Way of the Warrior – be present with what is, respond, avoid conflict

Show Up!

Front 58

Describe the Way of the Healer

Back 58

Way of the Healer – be present in the moment, in relationship. Pay attention to what has heart & Meaning

Pay Attention!

Front 59

Describe the Way of the Visionary

Back 59

Way of the Visionary – what is my truth, without blame and judgment?

Tell The Truth!

Front 60

Describe the Way of the Teacher

Back 60

Way of the Teacher – Be open to but not attached to outcome

Don’t Be Attached to Outcome!

Front 61

What are the aspects of S.M.A.R.T. Goal Setting?

Back 61

S-Specific
M-Measurable
A-Attainable (Stretch without breaking)
R-Realistic (Not intimidating to the point of paralysis)
T-Timely (Realistic time-frame)