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81 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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why we form social relationship
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we have an innate need to belong, which motivates us to form relationships
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3 categories for social rewards
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emotional
health material |
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3 categories for social costs
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time
energy other resources |
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attraction theory
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we are attracted by appearance, proximity, similarity, complementarity,
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uncertainty reduction theory
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uncertainty is bad
we form relationship to reduce uncertainty |
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how do we reduce uncertainty
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passive, (watch/observe)
active (seek info) interactive (talk with them, disclosure, interogation) |
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predicted outcome value theory
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Is the future worthit? What are we going to get from it?
If it is worthit, go for it |
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key difference between predicted outcome value and uncertainty
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POV is reawards based
UCR is information based |
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social exchange theory
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we want more + than -
comparison level-minimum standard comparison level of alternatives-what else i available |
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equity theory
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we want the same cost:ben ratio as our partner
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Stafford and Canary maintenance behaviors
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positivity
openness assurances social networks sharing tasks |
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characteristics of friendships
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voluntary
usually peers have rules differ by sex have a lifespan |
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what does research indicate as the "rules" of friendships
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stand up for each other
trust offer help keep secrets respect privacy |
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women vs men same sex friendship characteristics
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women-convo and emotional expression
men-shared activities and interests |
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what is received from opposite sex friendships
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womne get common interests and activities
men get emotional and sharing support |
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what makes a friendship nonromantic
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no attraction
family disapproval avoiding romance protect friendship avoiding hurt protecting a third party |
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what are rawl's stages of friendship lifespan
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role-limited interaction
friendly interactions (search for common groud) moves toward friendship (less role bound, recognize as individuals) nascent friendship (crystallized, disclosure, do things together) stabilized friendship (trust and increase disclosure) waning friendship (falling apart) |
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what causes decline
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criticism
betrayl of trust hostility or violence substance abuse fails to help intolerant of social network nothing in common major life changes |
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how do friendships affect the work
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if they are positive betweeen coworker or clients they can increase satisfaction, but if it is between superiors and subordinates it can be good, but troublesome because of differences in power
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dimensions of intimacy
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emotional
physical intellectual shared activities |
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requirements of intimate relationships
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require deep commitment
foster interdependence require continuous investment spark dialectical tensions |
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commitment
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our desire to stay in a relationship no matter what happens
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aspects of commitment
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emotional
social legal and financial |
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interdependence
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what happens to one person affects all in the relationship
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what do we invest into continuous relationships
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time
energy attention other resources |
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dialectical tensions
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conflicts between two important but opposing needs or desires
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primary dialetical tensions
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autonomy vs connection
predictability vs novelty oppenness vs closedness |
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internal dialetic tensions
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within the couple
connect//separate certainty/uncertainty open/closed |
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external dialetcic tensions
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outside of the couple
inclusion/seclusion conventional/uniqueness revelation/concealment |
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what makes a relationship romantic
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exclusive
voluntary based on love permanent |
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What is Knapp's model for stages of a relationship coming together
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initiating (1st meeting, polite, convserational)
experimenting (search for common ground, ID management) intensifying (increase contact, discloresure, time, nicknames, i love you, high dopamine) integrating (since ID, integrate social network, sense of obligation, reduce relational uncertainty) bonding (public display of commitment) |
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Tolhuizen ways to intensify
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increase contact
relationship negotiation social support increased rewards definition bids (define relationship) affection tokens, etc |
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romantic relationships vary in what 4 categories in how they communicate
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conflict
privacy emotional communication instrumental communication |
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Knapp's model for a relationship coming apart
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differentiating (reestablish indiv ID, differencces rather than similar)
circumcribing (limiting relationship, limit scope, contact, communication) stagnating (going through the motions, awkward) avoiding (minimizing contact) terminating |
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characteristics of a family
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genetic ties
legal obligations role behaviors |
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Galvin's definition of family
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system with two or more interdependent people
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characteristics of family systems
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influenced by environment
interdependent more than the sum of their parts small subsystems |
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family members negotiate
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roles, rituals, stores, rules
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types of roles
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functional: who does what
social: harmonizers, problem solver, etc |
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importance of family narratives
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reaffirm family's identity through shared goals
teach moral values stress family concerns reflect feelings for one another |
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communication rules in family
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who may speak to whom
when you speak how one speaks topic of conversation |
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baxter and braithwaite regarding stepfamilies
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hard to maintain openness/closedness
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conversation orientation
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the degree to which a family favors an open climate to discuss topics
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conformity orientation
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degree to which family communications stresses uniformity of attitudes, values, and beliefs
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consensual
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high convo
high conform |
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pluralistic
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high convo
low conform |
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protective
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low convo
high conform |
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lassiez faire
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low convo
low conform |
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4 ways to improve intimate communication
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emphasize excitement and positivity
handle conflict constructive have realistic expectations manage dialectical tensions |
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interpersonal conflict
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expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, resources, and interferences from the other party n achieving their goals
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conflict generates from
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different understandings
innate part of relationships |
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5 elements of conflict
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natural
contenct, relational, and proceduaral dimensions direct or indirect harmful beneficial |
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common relational conflict issues
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fair division of labor
jealousy sex work social networks children personal criticism finances |
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why is conflict prevalent online
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because of the disinhibition effect
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power
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ability to influence control over people or events
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5 characteristics of power
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context specifc
always presnt influences communication positive or negative power and conflict affect each other |
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types of power
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reward
coercive referent (one's attraction or admiration for another) legitimate (status of position) expert (derives from expertise) |
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negative reciprocity
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agression begets aggression
negative spiraling gunnysacking bringing others into the conflict defensiveness |
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demand-withdrawl sequences
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one person wants to engage in conflict while the other does not want to
women are usually in the pursuer position |
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four horsemen of the apocalypse
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described by gottman
complaints/criticism contempt/disgust defensiveness stonewalling |
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conflict styles
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competing
compromising collaborating avoiding accomodating |
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competing
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high assertive
low concern for other uncooperative style: passive, teasing, blaming, hostile questionss |
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collaborating
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high concern for other
high assertive cooperative brainstorm, problem solve, find best for both |
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compromising
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part win /low
intermediate for everything no one gets their way |
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avoiding
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lose lose
sometimes avoiding can be good in order to cool down denying the conflict being indirect |
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accomodating
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I lose, you win
appeasement (giving in) smoothing over differences passive acceptance of alternative positions |
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Gottman's 10 rules for fair fighting
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1. avoid gunnysacking
2. do not bring in other people 3. attack positions, not people 4. avoid making empty threats 5. postpone conflict until emotions cool down 6. try to understand partners position 7. behavioral complaints rather than personal criticims 8. accomodate rather than get defensive 9. try to validate partner's position rather than stonewalling 10. for everyone one negative statement give 5 positive statements |
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contempt
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where a person regards anything as considered, mean, vile, worthless, disdain
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deception definition
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when a speaker transmits information knowingly and intentionally for the purpose of creating a false belief in the receiver
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characteristics to qualify as deception
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sender knows information is false
sender transmits the information on purpose sender attempts to make the receiver believe the information |
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high stakes vs low stakes consequences
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high stakes - very bad consequences
low stake - not a big consequence |
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deception is most common in
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white lies
online communication |
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why do people deceive
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some reasons are benevolent (not to hurt feelings)
some reasons are malicious some are beign ex: protect self, avoid conflict, get to know someone, getting revenge |
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polite lies
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make others feel appreciates whether genuine or not
altruistic lies |
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why do ppl lie in the virtual world?
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disinhibition effect
usually selfish lies |
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deception as a simulation vs dissimulation
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the difference between making up stuff or leaving details out
simulation: fabrication, or exaggeration dissimilation: equivocation, or omission |
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why are we poor at detecting deception
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look at the wrong cues and ignore the right cues
truth bias-we expect to be told the truth |
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reliable cues for detecting deception
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information inconsistency
increased speech errors increased vocal pitch increased blinking and pupil dilation increase use of false smiles decrease body movement and illustrators emblem leakage |
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how deception is influenced by familiarity
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we are generally better at picking out lying in strangers than people we know
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how does does personality type affect lying
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expressive people are usually better at lying
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does motivation matter when lying?
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motivation doesn't necesarrily make somebody a better liar
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