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81 Cards in this Set

  • Front
  • Back
why we form social relationship
we have an innate need to belong, which motivates us to form relationships
3 categories for social rewards
emotional
health
material
3 categories for social costs
time
energy
other resources
attraction theory
we are attracted by appearance, proximity, similarity, complementarity,
uncertainty reduction theory
uncertainty is bad
we form relationship to reduce uncertainty
how do we reduce uncertainty
passive, (watch/observe)
active (seek info)
interactive (talk with them, disclosure, interogation)
predicted outcome value theory
Is the future worthit? What are we going to get from it?

If it is worthit, go for it
key difference between predicted outcome value and uncertainty
POV is reawards based
UCR is information based
social exchange theory
we want more + than -
comparison level-minimum standard
comparison level of alternatives-what else i available
equity theory
we want the same cost:ben ratio as our partner
Stafford and Canary maintenance behaviors
positivity
openness
assurances
social networks
sharing tasks
characteristics of friendships
voluntary
usually peers
have rules
differ by sex
have a lifespan
what does research indicate as the "rules" of friendships
stand up for each other
trust
offer help
keep secrets
respect privacy
women vs men same sex friendship characteristics
women-convo and emotional expression

men-shared activities and interests
what is received from opposite sex friendships
womne get common interests and activities

men get emotional and sharing support
what makes a friendship nonromantic
no attraction
family disapproval
avoiding romance
protect friendship
avoiding hurt
protecting a third party
what are rawl's stages of friendship lifespan
role-limited interaction
friendly interactions (search for common groud)
moves toward friendship (less role bound, recognize as individuals)
nascent friendship (crystallized, disclosure, do things together)
stabilized friendship (trust and increase disclosure)
waning friendship (falling apart)
what causes decline
criticism
betrayl of trust
hostility or violence
substance abuse
fails to help
intolerant of social network
nothing in common
major life changes
how do friendships affect the work
if they are positive betweeen coworker or clients they can increase satisfaction, but if it is between superiors and subordinates it can be good, but troublesome because of differences in power
dimensions of intimacy
emotional
physical
intellectual
shared activities
requirements of intimate relationships
require deep commitment
foster interdependence
require continuous investment
spark dialectical tensions
commitment
our desire to stay in a relationship no matter what happens
aspects of commitment
emotional
social
legal and financial
interdependence
what happens to one person affects all in the relationship
what do we invest into continuous relationships
time
energy
attention
other resources
dialectical tensions
conflicts between two important but opposing needs or desires
primary dialetical tensions
autonomy vs connection
predictability vs novelty
oppenness vs closedness
internal dialetic tensions
within the couple

connect//separate
certainty/uncertainty
open/closed
external dialetcic tensions
outside of the couple

inclusion/seclusion
conventional/uniqueness
revelation/concealment
what makes a relationship romantic
exclusive
voluntary
based on love
permanent
What is Knapp's model for stages of a relationship coming together
initiating (1st meeting, polite, convserational)
experimenting (search for common ground, ID management)
intensifying (increase contact, discloresure, time, nicknames, i love you, high dopamine)
integrating (since ID, integrate social network, sense of obligation, reduce relational uncertainty)
bonding (public display of commitment)
Tolhuizen ways to intensify
increase contact
relationship negotiation
social support
increased rewards
definition bids (define relationship)
affection tokens, etc
romantic relationships vary in what 4 categories in how they communicate
conflict
privacy
emotional communication
instrumental communication
Knapp's model for a relationship coming apart
differentiating (reestablish indiv ID, differencces rather than similar)
circumcribing (limiting relationship, limit scope, contact, communication)
stagnating (going through the motions, awkward)
avoiding (minimizing contact)
terminating
characteristics of a family
genetic ties
legal obligations
role behaviors
Galvin's definition of family
system with two or more interdependent people
characteristics of family systems
influenced by environment
interdependent
more than the sum of their parts
small subsystems
family members negotiate
roles, rituals, stores, rules
types of roles
functional: who does what
social: harmonizers, problem solver, etc
importance of family narratives
reaffirm family's identity through shared goals
teach moral values
stress family concerns
reflect feelings for one another
communication rules in family
who may speak to whom
when you speak
how one speaks
topic of conversation
baxter and braithwaite regarding stepfamilies
hard to maintain openness/closedness
conversation orientation
the degree to which a family favors an open climate to discuss topics
conformity orientation
degree to which family communications stresses uniformity of attitudes, values, and beliefs
consensual
high convo
high conform
pluralistic
high convo
low conform
protective
low convo
high conform
lassiez faire
low convo
low conform
4 ways to improve intimate communication
emphasize excitement and positivity
handle conflict constructive
have realistic expectations
manage dialectical tensions
interpersonal conflict
expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, resources, and interferences from the other party n achieving their goals
conflict generates from
different understandings
innate part of relationships
5 elements of conflict
natural
contenct, relational, and proceduaral dimensions
direct or indirect
harmful
beneficial
common relational conflict issues
fair division of labor
jealousy
sex
work
social networks
children
personal criticism
finances
why is conflict prevalent online
because of the disinhibition effect
power
ability to influence control over people or events
5 characteristics of power
context specifc
always presnt
influences communication
positive or negative
power and conflict affect each other
types of power
reward
coercive
referent (one's attraction or admiration for another)
legitimate (status of position)
expert (derives from expertise)
negative reciprocity
agression begets aggression
negative spiraling
gunnysacking
bringing others into the conflict
defensiveness
demand-withdrawl sequences
one person wants to engage in conflict while the other does not want to

women are usually in the pursuer position
four horsemen of the apocalypse
described by gottman

complaints/criticism
contempt/disgust
defensiveness
stonewalling
conflict styles
competing
compromising
collaborating
avoiding
accomodating
competing
high assertive
low concern for other
uncooperative

style: passive, teasing, blaming, hostile questionss
collaborating
high concern for other
high assertive
cooperative

brainstorm, problem solve, find best for both
compromising
part win /low
intermediate for everything
no one gets their way
avoiding
lose lose

sometimes avoiding can be good in order to cool down

denying the conflict
being indirect
accomodating
I lose, you win
appeasement (giving in)
smoothing over differences
passive acceptance of alternative positions
Gottman's 10 rules for fair fighting
1. avoid gunnysacking
2. do not bring in other people
3. attack positions, not people
4. avoid making empty threats
5. postpone conflict until emotions cool down
6. try to understand partners position
7. behavioral complaints rather than personal criticims
8. accomodate rather than get defensive
9. try to validate partner's position rather than stonewalling
10. for everyone one negative statement give 5 positive statements
contempt
where a person regards anything as considered, mean, vile, worthless, disdain
deception definition
when a speaker transmits information knowingly and intentionally for the purpose of creating a false belief in the receiver
characteristics to qualify as deception
sender knows information is false
sender transmits the information on purpose
sender attempts to make the receiver believe the information
high stakes vs low stakes consequences
high stakes - very bad consequences
low stake - not a big consequence
deception is most common in
white lies
online communication
why do people deceive
some reasons are benevolent (not to hurt feelings)
some reasons are malicious
some are beign

ex: protect self, avoid conflict, get to know someone, getting revenge
polite lies
make others feel appreciates whether genuine or not

altruistic lies
why do ppl lie in the virtual world?
disinhibition effect
usually selfish lies
deception as a simulation vs dissimulation
the difference between making up stuff or leaving details out

simulation: fabrication, or exaggeration
dissimilation: equivocation, or omission
why are we poor at detecting deception
look at the wrong cues and ignore the right cues
truth bias-we expect to be told the truth
reliable cues for detecting deception
information inconsistency
increased speech errors
increased vocal pitch
increased blinking and pupil dilation
increase use of false smiles
decrease body movement and illustrators
emblem leakage
how deception is influenced by familiarity
we are generally better at picking out lying in strangers than people we know
how does does personality type affect lying
expressive people are usually better at lying
does motivation matter when lying?
motivation doesn't necesarrily make somebody a better liar