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178 Cards in this Set

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The degree to which others consider their relationships with us to be valuable—maximal inclusion to maximal exclusion
Relational Evaluation
apparent decreases in others’ regard for us
Relational devaluation
people given the “cold shoulder” and ignored—silent treatment intentionally—often leaves the other confused—often become defensive
Ostracism
hurt, anger, and fear—perceve others don’t value us enough to honor our commitments—fear and anxiety result from thought of abandonment
Jealousy
someone becomes aware of an actual threat to a valued relationship
Reactive jealousy
One's partner hasn't misbehaved and one's suspicions do not fit the facts
Suspicious Jealousy
Precursor of jealousy in a relationships
Dependance, adjustment styles, personality traits, sexual exclusivity, traditional gender roles
Who would wife be jealous of?
A prettier woman/emotional infidelity
Who would man be jealous of?
A resourceful man/sexual infidelity
how do women respond to a rival's interference?
seeking to improve the relationship
How do men respond to a rival's interference?
Protect their egos
Who is more likely to try to get their partner jealous? Does it work?
Woman; no
intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows is false
deception
most common type of lie
benefits the liar, wards off embarrassment, guilt, or inconvenience, or seeks approval or material gain
what percent of lies are given to protect others?
25%
who do we make the biggest lies to? But not necessarily the most lies to?
intimate relationships
people lie to others and begin to perceive the recipients of the lies as less honest
deceiver's distrust
what attachment style and personality goes more with lying
all styles except secure, but mostly the insecure attachment and out-going
assuming that the partner is usually telling the truth
truth bias
who detects deception better?
women
who has more of a truth bias?
women
disagreeable, hurtful actions by people we trusted and from whom we reasonably did not expect such treachery
betrayal
lying most common among which age and race?
younger, less educated, white
who is most likely to lie in romantic partner and business associate?
men
who is most likely to lie to friends and family?
women
decision to give up your perceived or actual rights to get even with someone who's wronged you
forgiveness
what attachment style is more forgiving?
secure
two important ingredients in forgiveness
apology and empathy
ability to influence the behavior of others and resist their influence on us
social power
person who has less interest in continuing and maintaining the relationships has more power
principle of lesser inerest
two broad types of power control
fate control and behavior control
person's ability to bestow various rewards and punishments on someone
reward and coercion power
partners believe that we have a reasonable right to tell them what to do
legitimate power
partner adores us and wants to do what we want because they feel connected
referent power
partners recognize our superior knowledge nad experience and are influenced by us
expert power
specific pieces of info we have that influence our partners' behavior
informational power
who interrupts more?
men
one person's motives, goals, beliefs, opinions, or behavior interfere with those of another
interpersonal conflict
what personality experiences more conflict?
neuroticism who worry a lot and are impulsive
What attachment style is more conflicting?
anxious
at what stage of life does one have the most conflict?
teenagers/mid-adolescence
four events that cause conflicts
criticism, illegitimate demands, rebuffs, cumulative annoyances
verbal or nonverbal acts that are perceived as demeaning
criticism
requests that seem unjust
illegitimate demands
one person appeals to another for a desired reaction, and the other person fails to respond as expected
rebuffs
who becomes angry by those who want sex sooner?
women
who becomes angry by those who delay sex?
men
fighting over whose explaination is right and whose account is wrong
atributional conflict
guarentee that partners will have slightly different explanations for their actions than anyone else
actor-observer effects
judge their own actions more favorably than others do
self-serving bias
both partners wish to evade the issue
avoidance
seek to resolve conflict through rational problem-solving
negotiation
conflict heats up
escalation
who is more demanding and who is more withdrawing?
women; men
who is more likely to press for desired change in a relationship?
women
waiting for conditions to improve in passive but constructive manner--passive-constructive
loyalty
active behavior rying to solve the problem or obtaining advice from a friend--active-constructive
voice
passive but destructive manner by avoiding discussion--passive-destructive
neglect
leaving the partner or threatening to end the relationships--active-destructive
exit
ability to remain constructive in the face of a lover's temporary disregard
accommodation
frequent passionate arguments
volatile
fight more politely
validators
rarely argue
avoiders
couples who fail to maintain a 5 to 1 ratio of nice to nasty behavior
hostile
partners withdraw without resolving the conflict
separation
one partner gets his or her way when the other capitulates
domination
both parties reduce their aspirations so that a mutuality acceptable alternative can be found
compromise
satisfy both goals and aspirations through creativity and flexibility
integrative agreements
both get what they want and learn and grow and make changes in their relationships (good ones)
structural improvement
this scale describes use of psychological and physical aggression by responding with "I..."
conflict tactics scale
assault rates are higher for what two races?
American Indians and African
Americans
most familial type of violence which erupts from heated conflicts that get out of hand
situational couple violence
one partner uses violence as a tool to control or oppress
intimate terrorism
both partners try to subjugate the other in a situation that could be viewed as two intimate terrorists battling for control
mutual violent control
a partner forcibly fights back against intimate terrorism
violent resistance
how likely are women to initiate violence in comparison to men?
the same
how do women show violence?
towards things/objects/kick/bite
how do men show violence?
throw knives, chock/strangle, beat up
what percent of people have experienced shyness?
80%
syndrome that combines social reticence and inhibited interactive behavior with nervous discomfort in social settings
shyness
experience shyness frequently
chronically shy
what do chronically shy people fear?
negative evaluation from others, poor self-regard, lower social skills
what volume of music makes shy people the same as not-shy people?
loud music
lack social network of friends and acquaintances
social isolation
lonely because they lack a single intense relationship
emotional isolation
how likely are women to initiate violence in comparison to men?
the same
model of loneliness developed by perlman and Peplau holding both personal predispositions and adverse situations contribute to shyness
discrepancy model
how do women show violence?
towards things/objects/kick/bite
what word should you never use in determining somone's loneliness?
lonely
how do men show violence?
throw knives, chock/strangle, beat up
what countries most report feelings of loneliness? who is the least?
italians and japanese; danes
what percent of people have experienced shyness?
80%
what social class is mostlikely to be lonely?
homeless
syndrome that combines social reticence and inhibited interactive behavior with nervous discomfort in social settings
shyness
how likely are women to initiate violence in comparison to men?
the same
is loneliness genetic?
yes
experience shyness frequently
chronically shy
what do chronically shy people fear?
negative evaluation from others, poor self-regard, lower social skills
how do women show violence?
towards things/objects/kick/bite
what volume of music makes shy people the same as not-shy people?
loud music
how do men show violence?
throw knives, chock/strangle, beat up
lack social network of friends and acquaintances
social isolation
what percent of people have experienced shyness?
80%
lonely because they lack a single intense relationship
emotional isolation
model of loneliness developed by perlman and Peplau holding both personal predispositions and adverse situations contribute to shyness
discrepancy model
syndrome that combines social reticence and inhibited interactive behavior with nervous discomfort in social settings
shyness
what word should you never use in determining somone's loneliness?
lonely
experience shyness frequently
chronically shy
what countries most report feelings of loneliness? who is the least?
italians and japanese; danes
what do chronically shy people fear?
negative evaluation from others, poor self-regard, lower social skills
what social class is mostlikely to be lonely?
homeless
what volume of music makes shy people the same as not-shy people?
loud music
is loneliness genetic?
yes
lack social network of friends and acquaintances
social isolation
lonely because they lack a single intense relationship
emotional isolation
model of loneliness developed by perlman and Peplau holding both personal predispositions and adverse situations contribute to shyness
discrepancy model
what word should you never use in determining somone's loneliness?
lonely
what countries most report feelings of loneliness? who is the least?
italians and japanese; danes
what social class is mostlikely to be lonely?
homeless
is loneliness genetic?
yes
does past/present family life influence ?loneliness?
yes!!yes
can young people be lonely?
yes
what age is most likely to be lonely?
adolescents and young adults
wanting something somebody else has
envy
had a rival and you lost
fait accompli
more jealousy in which ethnicity?
Middle East; because very "one person only"
which ethnicity least jealous?
african/nordic
when bird sits on nest of another bird's eggs/tricking someone else into parenting
cokolding
what is the sequence of jealousy?
cognative appraisal, rapid stress response, reappraisal, and resolution
having an effect on someone
influence
having an influence over a wide range of areas
dominence
taking influence to a greater degree--subverting someone else's free will
control
legitimate power
societal
ability to reward/punish others
operant power
ability to be an expert or have more info--male power
cognative power
power in how respected you are--woman power
affective power
deliberately making a false statement
lie
subtle form of lying--confuse the issue to evade the truth
prevarication
use ambiguity to mislead
equivocation
make up false story
fabrication
unimportant lie
fib
parents with high love and high discipline
authoritative
parents with high love and low discipline
permissive indulgent
parents with low love and high discipline
authoritarian
parents with low love and low discipline
permissive indifferent
lie to ake the other feel better
benign
are stories longer or shorter when lying?
longer
subtle first impressions when lying
microexpressions
when population grows faster than resources allow, then you get compettition
malthusian
two great choices
approach-approach
something good and something bad in your choice
approach-avoidant
no good in the choice
avoidance-avoidance
two choices, something good and bad in both
double approach-avoidance
key to conflict in age
maturity
key to conflict in divisive issues
similarity
key to conflict in affect
not negative affect
concern with others verses concern with self--who made this model
baron
activity level vs. harm level
rusbalt
conflict degree vs. engagement degree--who made?
gottman
high affect, high engagement
volatile
high affect, low engagement
hostile
low affect, high engagement
validators
low affect, low engagement
avoidance
personal constructive tequniques for conflict resolution
REF (Respect, empathy, forgiveness)
one party gives up something
conciliation
come up with solution satisfying eveyrone
integrative agreement
make something more important than the conflict itself
superordinate goal
complain-->contemp-->defensive-->stonewall
Gottman's cascade model
denial-->anger-->bargaining-->depresssion-->acceptance
kubler-ross termination model
love but not loved back and don't care
unrequited love
3 C's to getting over loneliness
contact, companionship, communication
likelihood of forgiveness
dispositional
likeliness of forgiveness by what was done
offense-specific
break moral code when forgiving
harm to victim
let yourself down/break standards
harm to self
two ways to forgive circumstance
spiritual/natural
experiencing the pain, realizing need to get over it, change perception of the offencer, forgive
enright's model fo forgiveness
REACH--recall, empathize, altruism, committment, and hold on
worthington's model