Com Chpt 9 & 10

Front 1

Interdependence

Back 1

A state in which each persons behaviors affect everyone else in the relationship.

Front 2

Investment

Back 2

the resources we put into our relationships.

Front 3

Dialectical tensions

Back 3

Conflicts between two important but opposing needs or desires

Front 4

Monogamy

Back 4

being in only on romantic relationship at a time and avoiding romantic or sexual involvement with others.

Front 5

infidelity

Back 5

sexual involvement with someone other than your spouse

Front 6

Initiating stage (part of relationship development)

Back 6

the stage of relationship development when people meet and interact for the first time.

Front 7

Experimenting stage (part of relationship development)

Back 7

the stage of relationship development when partners have conversations to learn more about each other

Front 8

Intensifying stage (part of relationship development)

Back 8

The stage of relationship development when people move from being acquaintances to being close friends

Front 9

Integrating stage (part of relational development)

Back 9

the stage of relationship development when a deep commitment has formed and there is a strong sense that the relationship has its own identity

Front 10

Bonding stage ( part of relational development)

Back 10

the stage of relationship development when the partners publicly announce their commitment.

Front 11

CMP theory

Back 11

theory developed to explain how people manage the tensions between privacy and disclosure

Front 12

Differentiating stage

Back 12

stage of relationship dissolution, differences seen as annoying and undesirable.

Front 13

circumscribing stage

Back 13

quality and quantity of communication decreases.

Front 14

stagnating stage

Back 14

when they barley communicate

Front 15

avoiding stage

Back 15

creating physical and emotional distances

Front 16

Terminating stage

Back 16

relationship deemed to be officially over

Front 17

family of origin

Back 17

family in which you grew up in

Front 18

family of procreation

Back 18

the family you start as an adult

Front 19

systems

Back 19

an arrangement of people who interact with one another in complex interdependent ways.

Front 20

confirming messages

Back 20

behaviors that indicate how much we value another person

Front 21

Interpersonal conflict

Back 21

an expressed struggle between interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals

Front 22

Five basic characteristics of conflict in personal relationships:

Back 22

It's natural
It has content, relational and procedural dimensions
It can be direct or indirect
It can be harmful
It can be beneficial

Front 23

content dimensions

Back 23

the specific topics from which the conflict arose.

Front 24

relational dimensions

Back 24

the implications the conflict has for the relationship.

Front 25

procedural dimensions

Back 25

the rules or expectations we follow for how to engage in conflict.

Front 26

meta-conflict

Back 26

conflict about conflict

Front 27

Three most common sources of conflict

Back 27

1. Personal criticisms
2. Finances
3. House hold chores

Front 28

Passive agression

Back 28

a pattern of behaving vengefully while denying that one has aggressive feelings.

Front 29

Demand-withdraw pattern

Back 29

A pattern of behavior where in one party makes demands and the other party withdraws from the conversation.

Front 30

disinhibition effect

Back 30

the tendency to say or do things in one environment (such as online) that one would not say or do in most other environments.

Front 31

symmetrical relationship

Back 31

a relationship between parties of equal power.

Front 32

complementary relationship

Back 32

a relationship between parties of unequal power.

Front 33

one-up message

Back 33

a verbal message through which the speaker attempts to exert dominance or gain control over the listener

Front 34

one-down message

Back 34

a verbal message that reflects acceptance of, or submission to, another person's power.

Front 35

one-across message

Back 35

a verbal message that seeks to neutralize relational control and power.

Front 36

reward power

Back 36

power based on the ability to reward for compliance.

Front 37

Coercive power

Back 37

power based on the ability to punish for noncompliance

Front 38

referent power

Back 38

power based on liking, admiring, and being attracted to the powerful party.

Front 39

legitimate power

Back 39

power based on rightfully granted status or position.

Front 40

Expert power

Back 40

power based on special knowledge training, experience, and/or expertise.

Front 41

"four horsemen of the apocalypse" are,

Back 41

Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stone walling

Front 42

criticism

Back 42

the expression of complaints about another party.

Front 43

contempt

Back 43

the expression of insults and attacks on another's self-worth.

Front 44

defensiveness

Back 44

the tendency to deny the validity of criticisms directed at the self.

Front 45

stonewalling

Back 45

the behavior of withdrawing from a conversation or an interaction