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41 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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What emotion/condition is considered an important mediating factor in people's ability to forgive and move beyond interpersonal betrayals?
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empathy
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What are some contributing factors to making a relationship open to affairs?
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1. Aspects of the relationship (time, etc.) 2. External issues (in-laws, money) 3. Participating partner beliefs(relationship beliefs, romantic beliefs) 4. Injured partner beliefs (relationship skills, etch) |
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What aspect of post-affair exploration might be misconstrued as "blaming the victim"?
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Exploring the injured partner's contribution to conditions leading to the affair. Important distinction between contributing to the context of the affair and being responsible for engaging in the affair.
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Identifying weak points in the marriage, even after a painful affair, can help both partners feel?
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safe
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During promotion of empathy and developmental exploration, treatment borrows most heavily from what type of theory?
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insight-oriented approaches
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Strategically, a therapist must weave together working on what two aspects of the couples' lives after an affair?
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1. Dealing with the actual affair 2. Dealing with daily problems/conflict that may have contributed to the context of the affair |
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How might a lack of differentiation between "understanding" and "excusing" contribute to post-affair work by the couple?
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Partner(s) may be reluctant to explore historical/developmental contributions to the context of the affair
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What do couples stand to gain through exploring what led to the affair?
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1. A change in the injured partner's theory of why the affair happened. (not their fault) 2.injured partner understanding why the affair happened, giving them security for the future. 3.Reduced injured party anxiety, facilitating rebuilding trust. 4.Clearer understanding of the participating partner as to the motivations of their/their partner's behavior. |
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Why might post-affair partners lack empathy?
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Empathy may be associated with excusing the affair.
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What might motivate an injured partner to a reluctance to admit progress?
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Need to protect oneself from participating partner, need to stay angry, need to punish, hidden agenda, reluctant to acknowledge positive change because it might imply choosing to stay in the relationship when that partner is in fact uncertain about this.
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When does a therapist explicitly mention forgiveness?
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Not until the end of the process.
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What four basic points are covered during a discussion about forgiveness?
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1. A description of the forgiveness model 2. Common beliefs about forgiveness 3. Consequences of forgiving/not 4. Blocks to forgiving/moving on |
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Dangers of forgiving too early?
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Might lead to a recurrence of the abuse or unhealthy situation
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Cognitive techniques such as skill building, homework assignments, and cognitive restructuring are used to accomplish what goals?
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Power and control issues, communication problems, or difficulty finding time to be together.
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What is the crucial ingredient in recovering from an affair?
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A couples ability to restructure their views about themselves and each other, even if they decide not to stay together.
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In what instances is this type of treatment inadvisable?
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When one partner denies the affair or when neither partner feels betrayed. Nor is it advisable in situations involving severe drug abuse, alcoholism, or threat of violence.
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Findings on what instrument have shown reduced anger, revenge, and avoidance... ...and increased feelings of peace, understanding, and release? |
Forgiveness Inventory
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What two theories form the basis for the text's outlined treatment of affairs?
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CBCT (Cognitive-Behavioral Couples Therapy) and IOCT (Insight Oriented Couples Therapy)
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What percentage of couples coming to therapy are there because of an affair?
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30%
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What percentages, respectively, have married women and men participated in an affair?
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Women-15% Men-25% |
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What therapeutic objective of the text's outlined treatment for affairs is CBCT particularly suited for?
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The couple's ability to negotiate changes in how they interact and manage daily challenges of their relationship, and constructing explanations for one another's behavior
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What therapeutic objective(s) of the text's outlined treatment of affairs is IOCT particularly suited for?
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1. Understanding of conditions creating context in which the affair took place (past affects present) 2. Processing the trauma that has occurred and making sense of the past |
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What are some predictive factors of affair recovery?
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Longer marriage, deeper commitment, avoidance of immediate divorce, relationship satisfaction in other areas, ability to openly discuss the affair, remorse for the affair
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Can an affair EVER be turned around to where it actually has a positive long-term effect by acting as an impetus for change in problems in the relationship?
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Rarely-but yes.
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What 3 components comprise a definition of forgiveness?
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1. Gaining a more balanced view of the offender and the event. 2. Decreasing negative affect toward the offender, potentially along with increased compassion 3. Giving up the right to punish the offender further or to demand restitution. |
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"a secret sexual, romantic, or emotional involvement that violates the commitment to an exclusive relationship" What does this define? |
infidelity
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Sexual contact is necessary in order for an affair/infidelity to have occurred. True or False?
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False
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All of those involved in an affair suffer "trauma of betrayal" True or false? |
False. It depends on the individuals. Never assume or impose your own suppositions on a couple. Enter with curiosity and learn.
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What are "disrupted assumptions"?
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When a partner's assumptions about their partner are disrupted and the relationship has thereby been violated. One of the conditions necessary for "trauma of betrayal" (of which NEITHER is a given based solely on the existence of an affair)
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Husbands rarely leave their marriages when they have participated in an affair that was primarily sexual (not emotional). True? False? |
True.
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If an affair has taken place but has ended--yet the third party continually initiates unwanted contact with the couple/participating partner, what should the therapist do? Why? |
Intervene quickly and help the couple find ways to end this intrusion. Because it re-traumatizes the injured partner. |
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Between-sessions therapist-client contacts are a good time for the client to vent, complain, and attack their partner in a non-judgmental venue. True or false? |
False. These contacts are strictly for coaching/problem-solving.
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What is the primary, over-arching role of the therapist in the treatment of affairs therapy?
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To create an alliance with the couple.
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What are some critical components of creating an alliance with your couple?
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1. Safe atmosphere. Intervene quickly to limit type/amount of negativity. *Respect the pace. *Help partners focus on productive progress 2. Demonstrate expertise by providing normalizing, neutralizing directive * educate about normal responses to affairs 3. affirm fairness to both partners. *no covert alliances *relationship is the client |
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A therapist should avoid embarrassing either partner with talk about possible exposure to STD's-HIV during the course of the affair; this is the scope of a medical doctor, not a therapist. True or False? |
False. An initial concern should be the safety and health of your clients. Advise them to seek the help of an MD and explain exactly why (HIV, STD's, etc., with compassion and utmost respect for their integrity while doing so)
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What might assessments entail?
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Assessment/management of the affair's impact. This might include: *administering measures *Asking about daily coping techniques *individual assessment sessions for each partner *Assessing the couple's relationship (length, history, past relationships, affairs, children, etc.) *effect on children *content and regulation of partners' emotions *assess for violence, drugs, abuse--frequency/severity *nature of the "outside" affair relationship (duration, depth of involvement, etc.) *Legal, financial, considerations? |
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Stage 1--after assessment, the therapist should give what three things to the client(s)?
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1. A conceptualization of what led to the affair 2. A summary of current problems and why they are experiencing them 3. A treatment plan |
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What 5 interventions are incorporated into Stage 1 of treatment?
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1.problem solving and damage control 2 time out and "venting" techniques 3. Self- care 4. Emotional expressiveness skills & discussion of impact of affair 5. Coping with flashbacks |
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Stage 2 of treatment entails what?
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1. Finding meaning *exploration of the factors leading to affair *Problem solving or Cognitive Restructuring of Problematic Issues in the Relationship
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Stage 3 of treatment entails what?
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1. Moving on *Summary and Formulation of the affair *Discussion of Forgiveness *Exploration of factors affecting the partners' decision to continue their relationship *Problem Solving or Cognitive Restructuring on Problematic Issues in the Relationship or Issues Relation to a Decision to Separate |
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What specific instance(s) of psychopathology, present in either partner, makes affair recovery particularly challenging?
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Antisocial and narcissistic personality tratis
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