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62 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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George: They aren't bowing down. |
They're new here. |
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George: Bow them down. |
(To Binky, Bob, and Vivian) Bow down. His Bite is Merciless, His Bark is Worse, The Greatest Thing since Sliced Bread: here he is: GEORGE TOPAX! |
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Bob: What's this guy called? |
Silence! Silence during the ceremony. Who was talking? (Pause) We're going to stay here until who was talking 'fesses up. (Pause) I can wait. (Pause) I'd hate to punish the whole lot of you. |
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George: You can't get respect around here anymore. |
You'd better just admit it. |
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George: Whack 'em on the head with a pumpkin. |
Unless whoever's talking 'fesses up right now, we're going to whack each individual right on top of the head with a big pumpkin. (Pauses. To offstage assistant.) Bring in the pumpkin. I don't want to have to do this. |
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Bob: I'm not going to like this, Bink. |
Okay. Everybody line up. Anybody who flinches gets another one for flinching. |
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George: And don't think I enjoy this. |
And don't think he enjoys this! (To Assistant) Do it. |
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Bob: Wait! |
What? |
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Bob: I was talking. |
You were? |
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Bob: Yes. (Pauses) |
Everybody sit down. So what'd you want to do a thing like that for? How long have you been here, anyway? |
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Bob: About half an hour. |
Yeah? (Pauses) |
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Bob: We came from Earth. |
From Earth? |
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Bob: Yes. |
(Aside) How about that? (Pokes George) Sire. |
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Bob: What's his name? |
Sire... |
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George: You do it yet? |
No, Sire... (Takes fingers out of George's ears.) |
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George: What? |
These people say they came from... Where? |
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George: Who said Binky? |
Who said Binky? |
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George: Whack her out too for good measure. |
Get up here. |
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George: Okay, let's just do this and we'll get it over with. I'm starving. What's for lunch? |
(Announcing) What is for lunch? |
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George: Casserole? |
(To offstage voice) Casserole? |
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George: Whack 'em out. (Drumroll) |
On the count of three. (To Executioner) ONE! |
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Executioner: I'm not ready yet. |
Well, tell me when you're ready. |
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George: What? |
He isn't set up. |
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Executioner: I'm ready. |
All right. ONE! |
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Executioner: We did one! |
You weren't ready so we're doing one again. Okay? |
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Executioner: Okay. |
You ready? |
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Executioner: Yes. |
All right. ONE! |
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Bob: Vivian, goodbye. |
TWO! |
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Binky: So long, Bob. |
READY, GET SET... |
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George: STOP!!! |
STOP!!! |
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George: Come up here, come up here. |
Give 'em room, give 'em room. |
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Bob: What's this guys name? |
Silence! |
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George: Let's everybody say it. (Pause) |
EVERYBODY SAY WAUKEGAN. (Beat) All: Waukegan. |
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George: You said it. Make 'em feel at home. |
Mhmmm. (Pause) |
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George: Anything you'd like to see... Or anything... Or eat... They eat lunch? |
You bet you, Sire. |
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George: Now? Absolutely. Just as soon as we have made arrangements to prepare the... Whatda we call that thing? |
That space-shooter thing? |
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George: Yeah. |
Uh, ... The... I knew it this morning... (Generally). What do we call that job that shoots things through space very quickly? |
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Citizen: A palatial something. |
Spatial relocator. (To George) A Spatial relocator, Topax. |
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George: I knew that... We'll put you in the, uh, whatchacallit and we'll shoot you back. We'll shoot you right back home. (To Retainer) Get that thing revved up. |
You bet. (Exits) |
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George: Never regret it. |
(Enter) |
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George: That sheep is not to leave the planet. |
Yes, Your Topax. |
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George: I am Topax |
Yes, you are. |
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George: The other two may go, but he stays. |
Yes. |
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George: Or everyone gets whacked upon the head. |
Your wish is our command |
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George: Repeat what I said back to me. |
"What I said back to me" |
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George: Before that. |
The boy and girl may go, the sheep must stay. |
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George: Thus runs the world away. |
I've got it. |
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George: And make sure that they see the new car wash. |
I shall. |
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Bob: And some sights. We'd love to see some sights. |
We've got 'em. |
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Bob: Uh huh. |
You bet you. |
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Bob: Well, certainez-moi. |
You bet. |
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George: Here we go, then. |
Yup, yup, yup. |
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George: Half-a-dollar tour of Crestview, starting now. |
A-one, a two, a three... |
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George: We lost them? |
She's real tough, chief. |
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Bob: No! (Lunges at George) |
Restrain that sheep! |
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George: (Sighing) What? (Aside) Can you beat this? (To Retainer) Who is this guy? |
Who are you? |
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Colonel: Run Vivian, run, Bob. |
Stop them! |
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George: Bad luck for you, then, turkey, 'cause you're in some real hot water here. |
(Catches the sheep) Hey, hey. We got him. |
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George: Took your own sweet time. |
We've recaptured the Earthlings, your Lucidity. |
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George: Okay, okay. We're getting to you in a minute. Yeah. Can you believe this? Here this tunafish just tritzes in, pretends to be a Colonel of the Great Space Pandas, gets us in a lather, huh, the whole time he's this dirty turncoat in league with the Earthlings. (Pauses) What shall we do to him? |
Bad things. |
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George: ... And how... What happened? (Pauses) Well, what happened? |
Sire, the Earthsheep has escaped. |
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George: A guy blows his one chance to get his letter sweater. You think someone might understand, huh? No. (Sighs.) But life goes on. (Pauses.) Alright. Everybody take a break. |
FALL OUT FOR ANTHRACITE! |
