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41 Cards in this Set

  • Front
  • Back
Alice: Sorry I took so long
Ah, lovely!
We'll continue our little chat after tea.
June: Miss McNaught and I have no secrets from each other.
Oh. Well, let's all have tea first.
I say, what delicious looking scones.
June: Copied from a recipe of her grandmother's.
They look delish! May I try one?
Alice: Here's the jam.
They're what we used to call 'Girdle Scones.'
Alice: ...or the outside of the scones will brown before the inside is cooked.
They're a lovely even colour.
Alice: I always cool them in a towel.
Do you?
Alice:...before I turn them over.
They're very successful.
Alice:...bicarbonate of soda.
Now you're giving away trade secrets.
Alice: -and one egg.
June: Shut up! (Throws cake)
Now then girls!
Alice: -that was not a nice thing to say.
I expect she picked it up in the army.
Alice: She swears like a trooper.
But she has a heart of gold. learn about metre and things.
What a nice hobby.
June: As a poetess, she makes a very good cook.
It's still a question of mixing the right ingredients to make a tasty whole.
Alice:...the rampaging termagant.
Very expressive
And how do you like being compared to the wind?
Alice: Slice of cake, Mrs. Mercy?
Just a teeny one. I mustn't be greedy.
June: Her mother made it.
You can always tell when it's homebaked; it tastes quite different.
June: if you knew what old Mother McNaught put into it.
I'm not even going to ask.
June: I'm delighted to hear it.
Oh dear, this is just like a dormitory feast -- all this girlish banter.
I bet you were a terror at school. bed.
Ah, there's Sister George again. It's wonderful how over the years the character's evolved.
But we must constantly examine criticism, and if it's constructive, we must act on it. Ruthlessly.
June: What sort of criticism?
Oh, nothing in particular. At least...
June: But what?
Well, that, I'm afraid, brings me-- to the unpleasant part of my business.
Alice: I'll make myself scarce.
Please sit down.
You won't hold it against me if I speak quite plainly?
June: Please do.
It's my unpleasant duty to haul you over the coals, and administer a severe reprimand.
June: Oh?
I received this memo from the Director of Religious Broadcasting. I should like to have your comments.
June: It's an utter, bloody lie!
Please calm yourself, Miss Buckridge. Kindly hand me back the paper.
June: It's -- preposterous!
I take it you don't deny that you were drinking in The Bells on the night of the nineteenth?
June: Where was I on the night of the nineteenth?
I'm sorry to involve you in this, Miss McNaught.
June: There's no crime in that, is there?
Miss Buckridge, according to this letter -- from the Mother Superior of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, you boarded a taxi which had stopped at the traffic lights at Langham Place.
June: I thought it was empty.
'A taxi bearing as passengers two novitiate nuns from Ireland who had just arrived from King's Cross Station.'
June: How was I to know?
You boarded this taxi in a state of advanced inebriation -- and -- proceeded to assault the two nuns, subjecting them to actual physical violence.
June:...screaming blue murder.
Why didn't you get back out again?
June:...--the taxi driver had to pull me free.
According to the Mother Superior, one of the nuns required medical treatment for shock, and is still under sedation. (pause) She thought it was the devil.
June: It was all a ghastly mistake.
No doubt, but it'll take some explaining
June: What a nasty thing to do for a holy woman.
The Mother Superior is responsible for the nuns in her charge.
June: They deserve to be scourged in their cells.
I can hardly put through a report to the Controller, informing him of your allegation that you were bitten by two nuns.
June: No, well, you could say...
Let's be practical Sister George -- we're concerned with retaining the trust and respect of the public. Thousands of pounds spent on public relations -- and you jeopardize it all with your reckless and foolish behaviour. Really, Sister George, we have every reason to be very, very angry with you.
June: What do you want me to do?
You must write a letter immediately to the Mother Superior, apologizing sincerely for your behaviour, and I suggest you offer a small donation for some charity connected with the Convent.
Then you must send a copy of your letter to the Director of Religious Broadcasting , with a covering note from you, couched in suitable terms.
Alice:...I'll make quite sure she doesn't get into any mischief in the future.
There speaks a true friend.
You're very lucky to have someone like Miss McNaught to rely on. Treasure her.
Alice:...and sent off right away.
Good. That's what I like to hear.
I'll leave you in Miss McNaught's expert charge.
Alice: I'll keep her away from convents.
You keep her on a tight rein, and all will be well.
Alice: Between us we'll keep her in order.
She won't stand a chance, will she?