The Killing Of Sister George

Front 1

Alice: Sorry I took so long

Back 1

Ah, lovely!
We'll continue our little chat after tea.

Front 2

June: Miss McNaught and I have no secrets from each other.

Back 2

Oh. Well, let's all have tea first.
I say, what delicious looking scones.

Front 3

June: Copied from a recipe of her grandmother's.

Back 3

They look delish! May I try one?

Front 4

Alice: Here's the jam.

Back 4

They're what we used to call 'Girdle Scones.'

Front 5

Alice: ...or the outside of the scones will brown before the inside is cooked.

Back 5

They're a lovely even colour.

Front 6

Alice: I always cool them in a towel.

Back 6

Do you?

Front 7

Alice:...before I turn them over.

Back 7

They're very successful.

Front 8

Alice:...bicarbonate of soda.

Back 8

Now you're giving away trade secrets.

Front 9

Alice: -and one egg.
June: Shut up! (Throws cake)

Back 9

Now then girls!

Front 10

Alice: -that was not a nice thing to say.

Back 10

I expect she picked it up in the army.

Front 11

Alice: She swears like a trooper.

Back 11

But she has a heart of gold.

Front 12

June:...to learn about metre and things.

Back 12

What a nice hobby.

Front 13

June: As a poetess, she makes a very good cook.

Back 13

It's still a question of mixing the right ingredients to make a tasty whole.

Front 14

Alice:...the rampaging termagant.

Back 14

Very expressive
And how do you like being compared to the wind?

Front 15

Alice: Slice of cake, Mrs. Mercy?

Back 15

Just a teeny one. I mustn't be greedy.

Front 16

June: Her mother made it.

Back 16

You can always tell when it's homebaked; it tastes quite different.

Front 17

June: if you knew what old Mother McNaught put into it.

Back 17

I'm not even going to ask.

Front 18

June: I'm delighted to hear it.

Back 18

Oh dear, this is just like a dormitory feast -- all this girlish banter.
I bet you were a terror at school.

Front 19

June:...apple-pie bed.

Back 19

Ah, there's Sister George again. It's wonderful how over the years the character's evolved.
But we must constantly examine criticism, and if it's constructive, we must act on it. Ruthlessly.

Front 20

June: What sort of criticism?

Back 20

Oh, nothing in particular. At least...

Front 21

June: But what?

Back 21

Well, that, I'm afraid, brings me-- to the unpleasant part of my business.

Front 22

Alice: I'll make myself scarce.

Back 22

Please sit down.
You won't hold it against me if I speak quite plainly?

Front 23

June: Please do.

Back 23

It's my unpleasant duty to haul you over the coals, and administer a severe reprimand.

Front 24

June: Oh?

Back 24

I received this memo from the Director of Religious Broadcasting. I should like to have your comments.

Front 25

June: It's an utter, bloody lie!

Back 25

Please calm yourself, Miss Buckridge. Kindly hand me back the paper.

Front 26

June: It's -- preposterous!

Back 26

I take it you don't deny that you were drinking in The Bells on the night of the nineteenth?

Front 27

June: Where was I on the night of the nineteenth?

Back 27

I'm sorry to involve you in this, Miss McNaught.

Front 28

June: There's no crime in that, is there?

Back 28

Miss Buckridge, according to this letter -- from the Mother Superior of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, you boarded a taxi which had stopped at the traffic lights at Langham Place.

Front 29

June: I thought it was empty.

Back 29

'A taxi bearing as passengers two novitiate nuns from Ireland who had just arrived from King's Cross Station.'

Front 30

June: How was I to know?

Back 30

You boarded this taxi in a state of advanced inebriation -- and -- proceeded to assault the two nuns, subjecting them to actual physical violence.

Front 31

June:...screaming blue murder.

Back 31

Why didn't you get back out again?

Front 32

June:...--the taxi driver had to pull me free.

Back 32

According to the Mother Superior, one of the nuns required medical treatment for shock, and is still under sedation. (pause) She thought it was the devil.

Front 33

June: It was all a ghastly mistake.

Back 33

No doubt, but it'll take some explaining

Front 34

June: What a nasty thing to do for a holy woman.

Back 34

The Mother Superior is responsible for the nuns in her charge.

Front 35

June: They deserve to be scourged in their cells.

Back 35

I can hardly put through a report to the Controller, informing him of your allegation that you were bitten by two nuns.

Front 36

June: No, well, you could say...

Back 36

Let's be practical Sister George -- we're concerned with retaining the trust and respect of the public. Thousands of pounds spent on public relations -- and you jeopardize it all with your reckless and foolish behaviour. Really, Sister George, we have every reason to be very, very angry with you.

Front 37

June: What do you want me to do?

Back 37

You must write a letter immediately to the Mother Superior, apologizing sincerely for your behaviour, and I suggest you offer a small donation for some charity connected with the Convent.
Then you must send a copy of your letter to the Director of Religious Broadcasting , with a covering note from you, couched in suitable terms.

Front 38

Alice:...I'll make quite sure she doesn't get into any mischief in the future.

Back 38

There speaks a true friend.
You're very lucky to have someone like Miss McNaught to rely on. Treasure her.

Front 39

Alice:...and sent off right away.

Back 39

Good. That's what I like to hear.
I'll leave you in Miss McNaught's expert charge.

Front 40

Alice: I'll keep her away from convents.

Back 40

You keep her on a tight rein, and all will be well.

Front 41

Alice: Between us we'll keep her in order.

Back 41

She won't stand a chance, will she?