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43 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
one big mistake ppl make when trying to change
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overestimating the value of motivation and underestimating learnable skills
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4 major things to do in PSYCH step
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- track progress
- raise awareness - arouse emotions - committing |
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Monique
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struggles w addictions to substances, low self esteem, cigarettes and alcohol
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Andrew
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struggles w women and money; dropping money and women like flies
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5 proven methods of defining your goals in a way that will enhance your probability of success
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- all about you
- measurable - be real - under your control - positive |
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all about you
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the goal should be done for yourself only
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measurable
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should be able to track your progress
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be real
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the goal should be within realistic range of achieving
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under your control
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literally
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positive
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i.e. dont say 'i dont wanna spend my money' say..'i wanna save my money'
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tracking yourself increases the probability of success
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yep
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before you can begin to actively change behavior
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you must establish your current, baseline behavior
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tracking the progress of your goal works for 3 reasons
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- keeps your attention on the goal
- provides useful feedback so u know when u get off course - it is rewarding to see your progress |
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you can track ur progress thru
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a graph, diary, journal, calendar notes, computer, or phone
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looking at ur naked pic
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- you can see improvements over time but it can also create self loathing. monique felt like that
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reactivity
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measuring something usually improves it
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AEIOU and Y in raising awareness with techniques
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-available- within ur reach
-effective -innovative- techniques that bring creativity to ur change open to modification user friendly- simple, teachable skills you- must feel a connection with the techniques |
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what wort of self awareness will inform and propel you thru the 5 steps?
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knowing the causes, consequences, and cures of your problems
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face the facts
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seek out info on the causes and consequences of your problem from unbiased sources; possibly ask a professional psychologist or physician if you cant find an unbiased person
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ask for trouble
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request feedback from loved ones about the costs and consequences of your problem;
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see u at the movies
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watch movies on ur problem
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how long does it usually take to raise awareness
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1-2 weeks
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if raising awareness doesnt result in deep reflection and determined action;;
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its just empty contemplation
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awareness without emotion
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is like a flame without fuel; its like just telling somebody they should stop smoking
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the key
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stir up emotions in ways that propel you forward, rather than leave you agitated
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we avoid change bc of
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fear
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neurotic paradox
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humans behave to avoid anxiety to experience short term pleasure, while ignoring the long term consequences
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let the pain linger
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you should use the fear (aka the fear of getting lung cancer or going poor) to motivate you, but not to the point of scaring u off
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watch others in pain
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expose yourself to other people who are experienced similar struggles; i.e. see amy winehouse's drug overdose
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go long
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focus on long term consequences
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envision a better tomorrow
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embrace the positive future ahead
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tell a new story
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you can alter your self imagine by rewriting your own story with a better ending
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push pull llama
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one head- you are pushed away from the problem because you cant stand it any longer
other head- you are pulled toward change and a new behavior = doubles your emotional commitment |
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4 practices for finding the mid way between too much of a dark past and too bright of a future
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- analyze the amount of time you think about the problem vs the time you devote to thinking about the future
- everytime u think about ur problem, try to consider both the present and the future (reflect on both) - write a goodbye latter to your problem or old way of being - spend some time in front of a mirror and talk to yourself and vent |
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Pros and cons
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pros of changing cons of changing
self self others others pros should outweigh cons |
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pros will outweigh cons most likely after u do the work in
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psych and prep
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commit
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the power of your choice and the power of your will to see that choice thru
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say it loud
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like u mean it
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push-pull redux
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keep thinking of the llama
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repeat your slogan
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develop a few phrases that capture ur change's emotional meaning for you
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internalize your model or mentor
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find a person or 2, dead or alive, who manifests what you seek in commitment and to whom you can turn to for inspiration
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group action
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possibly join a group of like minded individuals who are also attempting to change
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NEVER a good idea to rush thru the psych step
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mhm
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