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244 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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What is interpersonal conflict?
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incompatibility between people
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What is dyadic conflict?
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occurs when one person's actions, goals, plans, views or opinions differ/interfere with the actions, goals plans views or opinions of the other
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How often do people experience conflict?
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Depends on who
-children show high frequencies of conflict with parents, siblings, and peers -4 year olds with mothers, ever 3.6 minutes -3.3 disputes involving the children per family dinner -premarital dating couples recorded 2.3 conflicts per week |
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How often do married couples experience conflict?
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Number of days had major disagreement:
.42 days out of 14 Number of days had minor disagreement 2.70 out of 14 days Number of days did something fun 3.42 days out of 14 |
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What are factors associated with conflict?
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Personality:
-high neuroticism and low agreeableness Attachment style: -anxious attachment Stages of life: younger= more conflict Dissimilarity -harder to get along Alcohol: -diminishes impulse control and you need lots of that to get through conflict successfully |
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What is neuroticism?
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personality trait concerning the tendency to experience negative emotions
"would you call yourself a nervous person?" "in general, are your feelings easily hurt?" "are you a worrier?" -people with high neuroticism tend to have more conflicts than people with low neuroticism |
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What are Bolger and Zuckerman's conclusions on Neuroticism?
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High neuroticims leads people to experience more interpersonal conflict:
higher exposure High neuroticims leads people to react to more intensely and the emotions to last longer: higher reactivity |
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What are Peterson's study on four types or topics of conflict?
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1) Criticism: communication perceived as derogatory
2) Illegitimate demands: exceed normal expectations 3) Rebuffs: failure to respond to partner appeal 4) Cumulative annoyances: small things that become really annoying and generate a reaction that is out of proportion to the provocation |
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How is expression better at solving conflicts than avoidance?
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-the more unexpresed irritants couples have, teh less satisfied they are
-mutual avoidance of conflict before marriage correlated with dissatisfaction and predicted later lower marital happiness (in wives) |
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Does Venting help the conflict?
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-no, it only makes you angrier
-it is a poor social consequence of being on the vented end of an interaction -instead try to reframe- think through whether you should be angry and how to handle the conflict ex: humor, think through attributions |
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What are the middle stages of conflict?
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1) Escalation
2) Conciliation 3) Separation 4) Reconciliation 5) Negotiation |
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What is Escalation?
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generalization, attribution of blame, extreme demands
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What is conciliation?
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problem reframed, negotiation
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What is Separation?
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problem seen as unmanageable, unwilling to negotiate, blame of other
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What is Reconciliation?
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conciliation and expressions of affection
-commitment to relationship |
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What is negotiation?
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problem solving, information exchange, search for solution
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What are attributions?
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-people make more attributions during conflict
-during conflict, most often we take a benign view of our behavior (Self serving biases) -attribution can lead to more conflict about the causes of behavior and the motives of the other |
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What are attributions like in happy vs. unhappy couples?
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-attributions of responsibility for the conflict (assigning blame, regarding partner as selfish, acting intentionally)
-unhappily married are more likely to make these types of attributions for conflict -dissatisfaction leads to dysfunctional attributions and dysfunctional attribution lead to dissatisfaction |
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What is the demand/withdrawal pattern according to Christensen and Heavey?
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-where one partner pursues and the other withdraws
-60% of couples, women demander/man withdrawer -30% of couples, man demander/woman withdrawer 10% of couples are equal D/W associated with less effective communication -less marital satisfaction (most notably for women) |
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What is negative affect reciprocity?
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-when partners trade escalating provocations back and forth
1) partner A displays negative emotions 2) Partner B gets physically upset/ negative emotion 3) Partner B displays negative emotions 4) partner A gets more physically upset/ more negative emotions Cycles round and round |
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What is accommodation according to Rusbult?
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-first impulse when the partner does something destructive is to respond destructively
-inhibiting this response and putting the relationship ahead of personal needs: transformation of motivation think of winning as improving relationship |
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What are the responses to conflict?
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Exit (active/destructive)
-leaving or threatening to leave, verbal or physical abuse Voice (active/constructive) -discussion, problem solving, seeking advice Loyalty (passive/constructive) -waiting optimistically, defending partner, continuing to display commitment Neglect (passive/destructive) -avoiding discussion, reducing interdependence, bringing up other unrelated problems |
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When does accommodation occur more relationships?
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-securely attached more likely to accommodate
-more committed people are more likely to accommodate -ability to take partner's perspectives is associated with accommodation -more satisfied with relationship= more accommodation |
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What is Gottman's balance theory?
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-patterns of how couples deal with conflict
-three types are stable, and increases relationship satisfaction -1 type less stable need a 5:1 positive to negative ratio to be happy |
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What are the three stable types in the balance theory?
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1) volatiles
2) validating 3) Avoiders |
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What are volatiles?
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high degree of negative exchange, but also high degree of humor and affection
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What are Validating?
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willing to talk out their differences constructively, supportive listeners, moderate emotional expression
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What is avoiders?
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state positions and end conversations
-passage of time often choice for resolving conflict -low emotional expression |
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What is the unstable type of the balance theory?
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Hostile
-engaged in a great deal of direct conflict -highly defensive -judgmental and blaming -negative affect reciprocity -kitchen sinking -low marital satisfaction |
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What are the different types of terminating conflict according to peterson?
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In order from least to most constructive
1) Separation: withdrawal without resolution 2) Domination: one winner, one loser 3) Compromise: both get part of what was desired 4) Integrative agreements: both reach goals, flexibility about means to the goals needed 5) Structural Improvement: change in relationship structure |
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What is the prevalence of violence in america?
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51.9% of women, 66.4% of men have been physically assaulted
22.1% of women 7.4% of men said they had been assaulted by an intimate partner |
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What are the 5 minor items of violence?
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throwing something
pushing grabbing shoving slapping |
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What are the 7 major items of types of violence?
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kicking
biting or hitting with a fist hit with an object beating up threatening with a weapon using a weapon choking |
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According to Johnson what are the type of couple violence?
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-Situational couple violence
-erupts when conflicts get out of hand, does not escalate into serious aggression Intimate Terrorism -cluster of control tactics, including violence--repeated pattern of behavior Mutual violent control -2 intimate terrorists battling for control (Rare) Violent resistance -forcible fighting back intimate terrorism |
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What are risk factors for violence?
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-cohabitation instead of marriage
-stressful events -low SES (low income and education) -history of family violence |
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What is the need of power, gender and relationship violence?
Winter (1988) |
assessed the Need for power among college age men and women
-Power: concern with having an impact on others, maintaining prestige Responded to TAT |
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What were the gender differences for Npow?
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no difference between men and women on average levels of Npow
-big differences on what was associated with high Npow in men and women |
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For women, what kinds of things showed they were high Npow?
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-hold offices in student government
-writing letters to the editor -acquire possessions of prestige -planning for power related careers such as business administration, clergy, teaching |
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For men, what kinds of things showed they were high in Npow?
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-alcohol and drug use
-physical and verbal aggression -gambling -exploitative sex (prostitution and coercion) |
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What is the relationship between loneliness and shyness?
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the more shy you are the more lonely you are
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What is the definition of shyness?
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tendency to be socially reserved, inhibited in social interaction and experience increased anxiety in social situations
-in small doses, shyness can be adaptive ex: when getting to know a new environment -communicate that you care what others think |
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What are contributing factors of shyness?
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1) fear negative evaluation
2) low self-esteem 3) perceived poor social skills 4) over personalize situations 5) over estimate the attention of others |
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What are Cheek and Buss shyness scale?
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1) I am socially awkward
2) I feel tense when I'm with people I don't know well 3) When conversing, I worry about saying something dumb 4) I am often uncomfortable at parties and other social functions 5)I have trouble looking someone right in the eye |
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What is the cycle of shyness?
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1) shy concern over other's evaluation
2) timid, reticent and awkward social behavior -low eye contact; low self disclosure, and low responsiveness 3) negative impressions on others -perceived to be aloof, unsociable and unfriendly 4) other's responses are less engaging, less self-disclosing, and more distant |
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What is Leary's shyness and arousal study?
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-conversation with stranger
-told there was party noise in background for multi-track tape of overlapping conversations, songs, laughing and yelling -monitored heart rate Conditions: -1/2 told noise would ruin conversation -1/2 told it would not (Soft) results: -people who were shy and it was soft noise, had increased heart rate -while shy and loud noise had lower heart rate than not shy and loud |
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What are the different implicit theories of shyness?
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Entity theorists:
-view social situations as opportunity to show evidence of poor social skills Incremental theorists: -view social situations as a learning opporutnity |
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What was the Beer Implicit theory of shyness study?
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-measures of shyness, implicit theories
-asked if wanted to participate in videotaped task that would give opporutnity to master shyness -incremental theorists were more likely to agree to participate -shy incremental theorists suffered fewer negative consequences of their shyness |
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What is the definition of loneliness?
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-feelings of deprvation and dissatisfaction with current social ties that emerges from a discrepancy between the kind of social relations we want and the kind of social relations we have
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What was Weiss's study that suggested two types of loneliness?
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Social isolation: lack a social network of friends, family, partner
Emotional isolation: lack a single intense relationship |
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What is correlated with loneliness?
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-loneliness predicts running away and delinquency in adolescents
-in older adults, loneliness predicts memory problems -loneliness associated with bulimia nervosa and alcohol abuse -loneliness predicts cardiovascular disease in men -loneliness predicts ability to care for self with age |
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What was Herlitz study on Loneliness and mortality?
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-patients who underwent cardiac surgery
-asked to respond to "I feel lonely" -30 day relative risk ratio of 2.61 -5 year relative risk ratio of 1.78 82% survival rate for non-lonely 50% survival rate for lonely |
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What is the social needs model?
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-universal level of social contact is important
-below that level= loneliness |
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What is the discrepancy model?
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-discrepancy between desired and actual social relationships
-below your desired level = loneliness -discrepancy model has the best support -how much do you need? |
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What does loneliness feel like?
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-desiring to be with the husband
-wanting to be loved by someone -wanting to love and take care of someone -wanting to share daily experiences with someone -wanting to have someone around the house -fearing inability to make new friends |
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What are the four types of loneliness?
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1) Desperation
2)impatient boredom 3)self-deprication 4) depression |
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What is desperation?
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helplessness
afraid hopless abandoned vulnerable -can be chronic or temporary state |
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What is impatient boredom?
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-desire to be elsewhere
-uneasy -anger -can't concentrate -time to time, isolation from others even if around people |
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What is self-deprecation?
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-feeling unattractive, stupid, ashamed, insecure
-inadequacy |
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What is depression in relations to loneliness?
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-empty, isolated, sorry for self, melancholy, alienated, longing for one special person
-express they feel lonely |
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What is the genetic component for loneliness?
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-evidence from twin and adoption studies shows there is a small but significant genetic component
-if one identical twin is lonely, the other is likely to be lonely too -patter also true for non-twin siblings |
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What are the cultural factors for loneliness?
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-Italy and Japan scored highest on UCLA loneliness scale
-U.S. was 4th -Denmark, Netherlands, and Sweden reported lowest levels of loneliness -asian cultures show strongest link between loneliness and life satisfaction -loneliness= decrease in life satisfaction -interdependence more important -less social integration |
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What are the socioeconomic status factors affecting loneliness?
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-lower SES= higher loneliness
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How does marital status affect loneliness?
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-unmarried are more lonely than married
-never married less lonely than divorced or widowed -happily married less lonely than unhappily -married men less lonely than married women |
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What is Borys and Perlman's study on perception of lonely men and women?
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-males and females read a story about jim or sue (same story)
-Rated Jim/ Sue on following: -how disturbed is jim/sue? -how acceptable would J/S be to you as an acquaintance etc. Results -lonely males were judged more negatively than lonely females -loneliness may be less socially acceptable for men |
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What are the attributions about being lonely?
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Internal and stable:
-i'm lonely because i'm a total bore External and stable -i'm lonely because everyone at this school is a snob Internal and unstable -i'm lonely because i haven't put any effort into finding friends External and Unstable -i'm lonely because my boss is making me work so much this month |
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What can be said about internal and stable attributions about being lonely?
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it's characterlogical
loneliness is extra long when internal and stable association -lose hope |
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What can be said about internal and unstable attributions of loneliness?
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it will pass in a couple of days
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How do you cope with loneliness?
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1) active solitude
-study/work, listen to music, exercise, working on a hobby, go to a movie 2) social contract -call a friend, visit someone 3) Distractions -go shopping/spend money 4) sad passivity -cry, sleep, sit and think, do nothing, overeat, watch TV, get drunk |
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How do social support networks help?
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can buffer the impact of challenge, change, and loss
because they genuinely care about you |
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What is social support network?
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people from whom an individual can reasonably expect help in time of need
-different people can help at different times |
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What are the different levels of social support network according to Gottlieb?
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1) Macro-level
-formal institutions and informal contacts 2) Mezzo-level -quality of relations within a social aggregate ex: closer friends, acquaintances 3) micro-level -quality of relationships with whom a person feels most attached ex: fewer people, best friends, romantic partners, parents |
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What is objective social support?
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-available to people and their satisfaction with their social support are only moderately related
-how often they help you, what they do for you |
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What is perceived social support?
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better predictor of major outcomes than objective social support
-would be there for you if you need help -feeling of general support from a partner is better predictor of outcome than partner's specific supportive behavior -better outcome than if they actually supported you |
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What are th four common functions of social support?
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1) emotional sustenance
2) self-esteem bolstering 3) information/feedback 4) tangible assistance -emotional sustenance is most well received but tangible assistance disliked when seeker felt controlled by the situation |
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What are the ways that people seek support?
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1) direct/verbal:
-ask for help, talking out the problem 2)direct/nonverbal -crying, putting one's head on other's shoulder 3)indirect/verbal -complaining, hinting 4) indirect/nonverbal -sighing, sulking, fidgeting |
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What happens if you keep using indirect ways of asking for social support?
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-it becomes a social allergen
-leads to gradual erosion of relationship -destructive of personal well being and relatinships |
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What is the Solve social support behavior?
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Problem focused and Approach
-designed to find an answer to their problem |
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What is the Solace social support behavior?
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Emotion focused and approach
-designed elicit positive emotions |
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What is the Dismiss social support behavior?
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Problem focused and Avoid
-designed to minimize significance of problem |
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What is the Escape social support behavior?
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Emotion focus and avoid
-designed to discourage display of negative emotion |
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Which is the best Support seeking behavior?
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direct support seeking more often leads to approach support provisions (solve and solace)
-the more supporters attributed the support seeker's problems to internal, controllable causes, the more likely provisions were avoidance (dismiss and escape) |
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What did House, Landis and Umberson find about social integration and health among males and females?
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-the more social isolation, the less healthy mentally and physically
-more likely to die earlier -increased mortality in unmarried men than married for women, lower mortality rates than males, but same overall pattern |
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What is the study on social support and health?
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-1,234 heart attack patients found that 6 month rate of recurrence doubled for those who lived alone
-study of patients preparing for bone marrow transplants -2 years later 54% of those with social support were alive, only 20% of those without were alive -social support linked to adjustment after most stressors: divorce, job loss, bereavement, rape -more susceptible to negative outcomes without social support -influences immune system in powerful ways |
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What is the Social support moderates cardiovascular reactivity study?
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-studied firefighters
-measured social support and recent life stressors -completed stressful laboratory tasks -increased stressful situations, increased heart rates -in group with few life stressors, social support not a predictor -in group with many life stressors, high social support had quicker post-task recovery than low support -slow post task recover= risk for hypertension -wasn't able to come back down to baseline |
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What was Sosa's study on social support and giving birth?
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-40 pregnant women giving birth in guatamala
-randomly assigned the company of a "doula" who provided company supportive interaction and massage (no husbands or parents allowed) Results: -length of time from admission to delivery: Control group (no doula): 19.3 hours of labor Experimental group(doula): 8.8 hours of labor -mothers who had a doula were observed to be more awake after delivery and to smile and talk to their babies more -just the touch significantly reduced stress |
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Is all supportive behavior helpful according to Barbee's study?
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-study on 42 men with HIV or AIDS who described instances when someone tried to provide support
-about 55% were rated as helpful -majority of helpful acts were Solve or Solace -45% were not helpful -when solve and solace were unhelpful they were seen as overprotective or intrusive -may be an attempt of caregiver to feel control--avoid the problem |
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What was Bolger and Zuckerman's question about invisible support?
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-perceived availability of support buffers reactions to stress, but little evidence that actual receipt of support buffers
why? -awareness of receipt of support may have emotional costs -perhaps the most effective support is support that is unnoticed by the recipient -it makes you feel inadequate and its not helpful |
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What was Bolger and Zuckerman's study about invisible support?
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-recruited cohabiting couples who were together 6+ months
-one of them preparing for NY state bar exam -daily experience study of both of them for 32 days prior to exam -" did you receive support today" -"did you give support today" results: -when the partner gets support but doesnt feel lit, levels of anxiety drops -when support was provided, but didnt feel that they were supported, their anxiety dropped -the most is when there was no support provided, but they felt that support was received |
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What is attachment and support in Collins and feeney's study?
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-dating couples did videotaped interactions
-support seeker disclosed a stressful problem to partner (support provider) -measured attachment styles on 2 dimensions -anxiety over abandonment -avoidance of closeness -high avoidant attachmen= more indirect behaviors to seek support -high anxious attachment= less responsive, gave less instrumental support (solve); more negative support (dismiss, escape, and blame) for problem -not good at giving support -in low importance problems, both low and high avoidance were the same for seeking support -in high importance problems, high avoidance people stay the same, but low avoidance people seek high support -support-giving predicts relationships quality (for both members of couple) -receiving support increases relationship quality and giving |
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What is Brown's study on if giving is better than receiving?
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-married couples whom mortality data were available over the 5 year study
-face to face interviews of support where participants reported on giving and receiving: instrumental and emotional support -found that giving support rather than receiving support reduced mortality risk |
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What is the relationship between social support and culture?
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-Asians and Asian americans less likely to seek social support for dealing with stress than European Americans
-"don't want to burden other people with my problems" -relationship concerns account for differences in use of support seeking -efforts to maintain group harmony might discourage such social support seeking -opposite is true for latinos--more support seeking, and especially from family |
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What is Langston's theory on social support for positive events?
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-expressive displays when positive events occurred predicted positive affect
-if they give you support even when positive things happen, you are happier--benefits the individual -functional perspectives of positive emotions -broaden scope of cognition, attention, and action -build resources -more positive reaction, happier you are and longer term life satisfaction |
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Is how partners react important in terms of capitalization?
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-close others are a likely target of capitalization (98%)
-is typical reaction of romantic parter associated with quality of relationship? -measure of capitalization modeled on rusbult et al's accommodation work -CAP measure 12 items: typical partner reaction to capitalization -heterosexual dating couples completed CAP and accommodation measures -married couples: completed CAP and daily assessments of relationship quality for 2 weeks, intimacy post diary |
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What are the four types of capitalization reactions?
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1) active constructive
2) passive constructive 3) active destructive 4) passive destructive |
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What is active constructive?
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-reacted enthusiastically to my good event
-my partner usually reacts to my good fortune enthusiastically -if there is more active constructive response, fewer conflicts and increased levels of intimacy -i sometimes get the sense that my partner is even more happy and excited than i am |
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What is passive constructive?
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-tried not to make a big deal out of it, but was happy for me
-my partner is usually silently supportive of the good things that occur to me -my partner says little, but i know he/she is happy for me |
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What is Active Destructive?
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-pointed out the downsides of the good event
-my partner often finds a problem with it -my partner reminds me that most good things have their bad aspects as well |
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What is Passive destructive?
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-seemed disinterested
-sometimes i get the impression that he/she doesn't care much -my partner doesn't pay much attention to me |
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What does Positive capitalization style predict?
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-more intimacy, satisfaction and daily interactions
-in males and females -above and beyond initial marital satisfaction -above and beyond accommodation style |
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What is Reis and Shaver's intimacy model?
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1) Ais' disclosure or expression of self-relevant feelings and info
2) B's interpretive filter 3) B's emotional and behavioral response 4) A's interpretive filter 5) A's reaction to B's response -do they feel understood? -feels validated? -feels cared for? if partner says "i don't care" then intpret don't feel cared for |
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What is cultivating intimacy through responsiveness?
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-active constructive reations to capitalization attempts, but not destructive or passive reactions convey:
1) understanding 2) validation 3) caring = Responsiveness |
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What is the interaction study for perceived capitalization style?
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-dating couples
-44% cohabiting -perceived capitalization style measure: -measures of love, satisfaction and commitment -participated in videotaped interactions: -personal concern -personal positive event -rated partner's responsiveness (10 items) after interaction ...got the facts right about me ...respected me ...expressed liking and encouragement for me -did this happen? Results: -perceived capitalization style: increased in love, commitment and satisfaction -but less about personal concern |
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What are the problems for maintaining a relationship?
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-relationship science says:
-conflict is unavoidable -romantic passion declines over time -insecurity has a corrosive effect |
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What are the basic things for maintaining relationship?
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-cognitive:
interdependence positive illusion derogation of alternatives -emotional -behavioral: accomodation willingness to sacrifice forgiveness -behaviors and actions aimed at protecting and sustaining desired relationships -strategic and conscious -promoted by prosocial emotional experience ex: love, gratitude, kindness |
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What is relationship maintenance in regards to cognition?
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-cognitive interdependence
-a transformation of motivation that leads individuals to relinquish their immediate self-interest and act on relationship considerations -transferring from ME to WE -best possible outcomes for our relationships |
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What is Agnew's study on Cognitive interdependence?
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-spontaneous plural pronoun usage
ex: We love going to the movies -increased closeness (perceived "unity") -positively correlated to greater commitment -only specific to romantic partners, not friends -commitment correlated with plural thoughts and closeness |
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What is Murray's study on Positive Illusions?
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-married couples
-measures of relationship satisfaction -measures of self/partner virtues and faults -friend completed same measures for couple -22 attributes ex: kind, affectionate, thoughtless, moody, accepting, patient) results: -satisfied partners perceived more virtue in each other than each perceived in themselves -friends didn't see as much virtue as satisfied partners -less satisfied partners see less virtue in partner than friends see in partners |
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How does positive illusions affect marriage?
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-positive illusions early in marriage help us to perceiving partner in best possible light
-we view partner faults as trivial; their deficiencies are relatively unimportant -partner misbehavior dismissed as unintentional and or temporary -have the best possible light of situations because you're with them for a long time -increases commitment and exclusivity |
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How does perceived superiority of our relationship affect us?
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-committed partners tend to think that their relationships are better than most
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What is the emotional factor for relationship maintenance?
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-love is the emotional experience that promotes commitment
-it also distracts us from the possibility of alternatives -inattention to alternative relationships -derogation of tempting alternatives -suppression of tempting alternatives -people not in love and not committed monitor options with more eagerness |
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What did Gonzaga want to prove with is study about love and suppression?
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-the experience of love will help individuals successfully suppress the thought of a romantic alternative
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What is the suppression of unwanted thoughts?
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-any attempt to actively suppress thoughts leads to an ironic rebound effect
-once the person stops active suppression, they think of that thing more than they would have if they had not suppressed the thought in the first place -emotion of love may nullify this effect |
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What was Gonzaga's results for the love, desire and suppression study?
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-when asked to think about love, they were able to suppress their thoughts more
-when asked to think about having sexual desires for their partner, less able to suppress thoughts -control group just thought about alternatives |
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What is the behavior factor in relationship maintenance?
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-accommodation:
-willingness to control impulses to benefit relationship -Sacrifice: -willingness to sacrifice -willingness to sacrifice for approach motivations |
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What is Rusbult's theory on accommodation?
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-first impulse when the partner does something destructive is to respond destructively
-inhibiting this response and putting the relationship ahead of personal needs: transformation of motivation -putting relationship beforehand! |
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What is accommodation?
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-respond constructively to partner provocation
you tolerate their: -bad mood -pointless criticism -not martyrdom..think of it in the 5:1 ratio context |
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What is sacrifice?
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increased satisfaction over time
-perceiving partner to make a sacrifice increases trust, which increases commitment -greater likelihood that relationships will last |
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What is the motives behind sacrifice?
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-personal and relational consequences of sacrifice depend on underlying motives
Sacrifice to obtain positive outcomes or sacrifice to avoid negative outcomes? |
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What is commitment and forgiveness?
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-self-oriented reactions to betrayal make it hard to forgive
-more associated with grudges and vengeance -other-oriented reactions which are fostered by commitment, promote forgiveness -if more interested in relationship then more likely to forgive |
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What is Finkel's study on forgiveness?
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-undergrads in relationship
-primed with high commitment: -describe how upset you would be if relationship ended -describe two ways life is linked to partner -or low commitment: -describe an activity you enjoy without partner -describe 2 ways life is independent of your partner -Respond to 12 hypothetical betrayals -partner lies about something important -partner flirts with classmate -How would you react to that? Results: -in high commitment, less likely to respond with exit and neglect than low commitment |
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What is the self-expansion model?
|
Growth:
-people seek to expand the self -one way to do this is by IOS through close relationships -beginning of relationships: rapid self expansion -New and arousing activities may enhance IOS -new: expanding to self--enhance process -arousing: associated with past rapid expansion |
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What is Aron et al's study on novelty factor in relationship?
|
-married or cohabiting couples
Stage 1: relationship quality questionnaires Stage 2: randomly assigned to novel or mundane task: -tied at wrist and ankle to roll ball toward goal -separately rolling ball to center and back Stage 3: relationship quality questionnaires Results: weird task= increase in relationship quality -mundane task: no difference |
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What is the relationship between self-expanding activities, relationship quality, and relationship boredom?
|
-self expanding activities positively correlated with relationship quality
-negatively correlated to relationship boredom weird= decrease boredom mundane= more boredom |
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What is the Michelangelo Phenomenon?
|
-relationship maintenance promotes personal growth
-partner encouragement and support of skills we want to learn, acceptance of new roles and responsibilities helps us to become better versions of ourselves takes conscious effort -behaviors and cognitions need to be geared |
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What are factors for staying content?
|
1) foster positivity
2) openness 3) assurances 4) sharing a social network 5) sharing tasks 6) sharing activities 7) support 8) conflict management 9) not using avoidance 10) Humor |
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What are the three best factors for staying content in long term relationships?
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1) foster positivity
2) assurances 3) sharing tasks |
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What is "the mind in the middle"?
|
people generally attribute the success or failure of their relationships to their own and their partner's qualities
"this is why we are succeeding or failing" in doing so, they minimize or even ignore the context of the relationship |
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What is 9-11 as a social context?
|
-family strife and marital discord were common in the homes of the surviving firefighters after Sept. 11
-the number of firefighters requesting couples' counseling tripled after 9-11 in NY -But many would not have said that 9-11 was part of the problem |
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What is the unappreciated power of context?
|
-From outside:
it is hard to ignore the ways that relationships seem to be affected by circumstances completely external to a couple and their interactions From inside: -easier to see relationships as affected by partner's behavior rather than the less visible ways that the environment shapes, facilitates or constrains behavior -traumatic events, culture impacts relationships, just don't think it does |
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What does context mean?
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-the context of an intimate relationship begins where the dyad ends
-encompasses everything that impacts relationships from outside for the partners and the interactions between them -Can include physical environment, social environment, the historical era ex: family, friends, coworkers, stock market crashes, events affect the community, urban vs. rural, architecture |
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What is the proximal elements of context in bronfenbrenner's social ecological model?
|
-within a couple's immediate perceived environment
ex: -arguing at the ktichen table in the middle of the afternoon vs. arguing at 2:00 AM when both partners have work the next day -worse because it's impacted the next day -that same argument in a 2 bed apartment with relatives vs. alone in a 4 bedroom home -crowded house, tighter quarters more friction |
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What is the Distal elements of context in bronfenbrenner's social ecological model?
|
elements that are less specific to any particular couple; less direct but not less important
ex: -beliefs and values stemming from social environments, religion or culture -how do you interpret it? are you used to it because of your culture? |
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What is the more Distal elements of context in bronfenbrenner's social ecological model?
|
global and historical conditions
Ex: -relationships of the 21st century form and develop within a context that includes air travel, electronic communication, and routine vaccinations (would have been a problem in the 18th century) -different with how people interact with each other |
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What are the mutual influence of Proximal and Distal contexts?
|
-elements of the distal context are likely to affect relationships through their direct effects on more proximal elements
Ex: -the trend toward women in the work force across the 20th century mirrored a similar rate of increase in divorce rates over same period -women now have alternatives where used to be dependent on husband |
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What is the types of influences of context?
|
the context of a relationship contains elements that make the relationship harder or easier
-stressors and resources -chronic vs. acute |
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How do stressors and resources affect relationships?
|
stressor: aspect of the environment of a couple that makes demands on the partners, leaving them with a reduced capacity to maintain their relationship
resource: source of support outside the couple, something that contributes to partner's ability to interact effectively ex: close extended family- more social network stable financially: more time spending with relationship income/safe neighborhood: more time/energy with each other |
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How do chronic conditions vs. acute events affect relationships?
|
chronic conditions:
-aspects of the environment that are relatively stable and enduring acute events: -have a relatively clear onset and the possibility of an end-point ex: unemployment, accidents, death of child/spouse, -can have a lasting effect |
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What is Cutrona's study on couples in different neighborhoods?
|
-African American couples
-couples resided in a range of neighborhoods -marital warmth during interactions was: -lower for couples living in economically disadvantaged neighborhoods therefore: -lower income-less marital happiness -if live in dangerous neighborhood, and still financially secure, still worry about being safe vs. -couples living in more affluent neighborhoods |
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What is Menaghan's study on acute events vs. chronic events?
|
-longitudinal study of married couples that had or had not experienced one of 10 normative family traditions:
-first child enters school -first child leaves home -last child leaves home -few differences between group who had experienced transitions and those that didn't -transitions that you anticipate, even though stressful -because they anticipated it, they saved for it--didn't have detrimental long term effects -better than if it was unexpected |
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What is stress pile-up?
|
the accumulation of stressors
-SES vulnerabilities Ex: a car accident on the way to work is stressful by itself; if the accident makes you late for an important meeting, you now have two stressors to deal with instead of one Poverty: physical health problems, how are you going to cope with it? what resources do you have? -if don't have health insurance, pile up on each other -don't have resources to deal with it |
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What are the health consequences to stress?
|
-sympathetic-adrenal-medullary system secretes epinephrine and other adrenal steroids into your bloodstream
-the hypothalamic pituitary adrenaocortical axis is responsible for adding steroids such as hydrocortisone to the mix fight/flight responses |
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What are the effects of stress on relationships?
|
-the aroused focused state brought on by acute stress is the opposite of states that keep partners feeling connected and satisfied
-even straightforward interactions between partners require complex and deliberate processes like empathy, perspective taking, and forgiveness -stress makes this difficult -if conflict with partnr, stress does not help with anything difficult or new -more aroused less in state conducive to that harder to maintain: -foster positivity -assurances -sharing tasks etc -more aroused more likely to reciprocate negatively -decline of satisfaction over time |
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What is Neff and Karney's study on stress with couples?
|
-spouses completed a measure every six month for the first three years of their relationship
-imagine what you would think if partner acted in an insensitive way ex: failing to listen, acting cool or distant -describe the stresses they had experienced outside the relationship since the last assessment results: -spouses' explanations for partner behavior varied as a function of the stress -couples experiencing less stress avoided blaming partners for negative behaviors -excused partner's behavior on external stressors -when stress was high, these same couples were more likely to blame their partners for their negative behaviors -rather than situation -make it hard to maintain relationship |
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What are stressful contexts?
|
-financial strain
-employment insecurity -child or partner with chronic or severe illness |
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How are long distance relationships stressful?
|
-restricts opportunities for shared activities that contribute to closeness and intimacy
-work harder for the those things to happen -increases the cost of maintaining the relationship -closeness cannot be reaffirmed with a touch, a gesture, or a look -partners spend significant amounts of time in the company of other people without you, creating opportunities for jealousy and infidelity -not much you can do to reaffirm their commitment -positive beliefs about each other protected from day to day inrritations -feel more special when are together |
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How is it stressful if the social network disapproves?
|
-parents who disapprove of their children's relationships can ignore partner, treat the partner poorly, or refuse to recognize the couple as being in a relationship
-friends that disapprove can take steps to introduce alternative partners -makes it difficult to maintain -makes it miserable -want support from network and validation -when have fight: escalates the stress -may be able to ignore when in good times, but if they don't like them may say "dump them" |
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What is stress spillover?
|
occurs when the effects of stress in one domain of a person's life are transmitted to other domains
-people are experiencing stressors outside the home report: -less satisfaction with their relationships -more negative emotions during problem solving interactions -under stress, affects how you work in that relationship |
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What is Repetti's study on stress spillover?
|
-air traffic controllers
-Each day for three days: -traffic conditions -asked the controllers and their spouses to report on the kinds of marital behaviors they engaged in during the evening results: -on stressful work days, controllers and spouses reported that the controller was more socially withdrawn at home compared to less stressful days -coping mechanism: -unwind at home without facing stress at home -but doesnt help with other people and only short term |
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What is stress crossover?
|
-when stress experienced by one partner affects the outcomes and functioning of the other partner
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What is Rook, Dooley, and Catalano's study on stress crossover?
|
-women interviewed about:
-stresses husbands were experiencing at work -their own experiences of depression and other emotional problems Results: -wives symptoms not associated with their own parenting and work demands but associated with the amount of job stress husbands were experiencing -increase of husbands stress, increases wife stress -doesn't have to do with more home stress or own work stress |
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What is Cohan and Cole's study on environmental stress?
|
-used public records to examine marriage, childbirth and divorce rates in south carolina 14 years before and 8 years after Hurricane Hugo
-the years immediately after hurricane saw marked increases in rates of marriage, childbirth, and divorce in affected counties -if hurricanes brought marriages together, then good -but if extra stress, break's people up if they aren't happy with each other -found both |
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What is Conger's study on financial strains on relationship?
|
-couples under economic strains were observed during discussion of problems in the relationship and followed over time
-financial strains predicted declines in satisfaction -BUT couples demonstrating the most effective problem solving skills appear able to resist these declines -resist decline if able to problem solve -if couples go through obstacles together and no resources, break up -but if financially stable, know they can handle it -challenge instead of obstacles then better at adapting |
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What did they find with Low SES and Marriage?
|
-women with less than a HS education or living in low income neighborhoods are as likely or slightly more likely than more affluent women to marry by the time they are 30 years old
-but had higher rates of divorce, marital distress, and physical abuse -higher rates of negative outcomes -4x more likely to have children before marriage and more likely to have more children afterwards -additional stressors, less resources |
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What is the attitude for Low SES and marriage?
|
-less educated men and women report more positive attitudes toward the institution of marriage than more educated men and women
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What do low SES women say about marriage?
|
-Edin interviewed low SES women about marriage and found that these women perceived several obstacles:
-1: affordability "i can do bad by myself. i don't need no one helping me do bad" 2) fear of divorce 3) fear of violence and loss of control men contributes economically, low income not always the case -husband more traditional gender roles when low SES |
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What are the correlates of Low SES in relationships?
|
-being poor is associated with a host of other personal challenges that have a negative impact on relationships
-significant health problems -more likely to be exposed to physical and sexual abuse during childhood -greater exposure to acute and chronic stressors -greater exposure to unpredictable stressors |
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How does low SES affect couples time?
|
-poor couples are likely to have less time to spend together
-forced to work nonstandard hours like graveyard shifts and might have different schedules -working poor families are less likely to have paid sick leave, vacation leave, or flexible work hours -result: unable to devote time to children, attending school meetings, or catch up |
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How does low SES affect social networks?
|
-low income couples benefit from extended family and well developed social and religious networks
-networks can be a further drain in couples -drain more than give back -if poor, network might be poor too -might have chronic health problems, disabilities -but the social capital can be invaluable if it's like church group, can provide valuable assistance |
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What is the culture differences in romantic relationships?
|
-more similarities than differences
-compared chinese and american couples -expected romantic love to be more central to american relationships -similar levels of intimacy, passion and commitment -maybe because of westernization and modernization |
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What is the study of latinos and relationships?
|
-familism would be positively associated with social support
-more pronounced among latinas -i am close to my family, obligation and support -social support would be positively associated with higher infant birthweight for foreign-born latinas Results: -familism was positively associated with social support- more pronounced among latinas -social support was positively associated with higher infant birthweight for foreign born latinas |
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What is the divorce rate?
|
in 1990's:
-1,182,000 couples were divorced -crude rate: 4.7 per 1000 people over age 15 -refined rate: 20.9 per 1000 married women over age 15 -45-55% of today's marriage will end in divorce Divorce rate: increased since mid 1930's leveled off in the last 10-15 years -increase at 1945 but went down directly -increase at 1980's |
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What is causing the high divorce rates?
|
-social and legal constraints on divorce have eased in this time
-U.S. divorce rate high compared to other countries -most divorces occur within first 10 years of marriage -median length of marriage for couples divorced in 1990 was 7.2 years -russia higher divorce rate than u.s. -but every country has high |
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What are predictors of divorce?
|
-low sex ratio:
-fewer men than women = higher divorce rate -Age: -teen marriages more likely to end in divorce (before 20) -SES: lower ses= higher divorce rate Stressful life events= higher divorce rate Prior marriage (married before) -2nd marriage= higher divorce rate |
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How does living longer affect divorce?
|
-once married, the average amount of time that spouses will be together has increased because life span has increased
-1900: 35 years before spouse dies -1980: almost 50 years -living longer has more time for negative events to occur increased societal acceptance of being single, cohabiting etc. -higher expectations for marital relationships |
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How has expectations affected marriage?
|
-not practical necessity
-not for financial reasons anymore -path to emotional fulfillment -expect more out of marriage (play than work) casual cohabitation (not committed) leads to divorce committed cohabitation not any increase in divorce |
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What is levinger's model?
|
Attraction (rewards-costs)
-rewards: companionship, security, etc -cost: irritants, time, etc. Alternatives: -other poeple, being single, career, etc. Barriers -legal, social, moral, financial |
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What is knoester and booth's study about people who stay in marriage?
|
-survey of people married for 12+ years
Why did they stay? -children will suffer -threat of losing children -religious norms -dependence on spouses -fear of financial ruin but the mot common was religious norms and dependence on spouses |
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What is the PAIR project?
|
-couples who married in 1981
-after 13 years: 35% divorced, 20% weren't happy, but 45% were happy, but less than before -enduring dynamics: some people start off less happy than others and stayed less happy -Emergent distress: full into a rut of negativity after marriage -Disillusionment: unrealistically positive views erode over time and exposure -led to decrease of happiness, unrealistically high, but if able to take it, then it's fine -start taking spouse for granted -1st lovey dove, but take them for granted and led to difficulties and disillusionment |
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What is the decision to dissolve the relationship?
|
-a long period of:
ambivalence and discontent precedes most divorces -people don't usually initiate divorce until they finally come to believe that they will be better off without their spouses |
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What are the different disengagement strategies?
|
1) Fait accompli
2) State of relationship talk/ negotiated farewell 3) withdrawal/ escalation 4) Pseudo de escalation / fading away |
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What is Fait Accompli?
|
Self oriented and Direct
-openly acknowledge desire to end relationship, with little regard for partner |
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What is State of relationship talk or negotiated farewell?
|
Other-oriented and Direct
-openly acknowledge desire to end relationship while protecting partner's self esteem -without harming partner |
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What is Withdrawal/ Cost escalation?
|
Self oriented/ indirect
-end the relationship without an explicit declaration and with a focus on one's own needs like most divorces |
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What is Pseudo de-escalation or fading away?
|
indirect and other oriented
-end the relationship without an explicit declaration and without harming the partner |
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What is the typical break up script?
|
Step 1: one partner begins to lose interest
Step 2: disinterested partner starts to notice other people Step 3: disinterested partner withdraws and acts distant .. Step 4: couple tries to work things out …. Step 5: partners spend less time together Step 6: consider breaking up and may try it .. Step 7: consider reuniting and may try it Etc … until the break-up finally “takes” |
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What is the relationship of divorce and health?
|
Holmes and Rahe's social readjustment rating scale
-identifies divorce as the 2nd most stressful life event (death of spouse is 1st) -Mastekaasa found increases in stress and decreases in well being and health during separation in sample |
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|
What are the rates for divorce and children?
|
16.6 of every 1,000 children under 18 in 1990 was involved in a divorce
-0.9 children per divorce decree 53% of divorcing couples in 1990 had children under the age of 18 -25% had one child -20% had two children -8 % had 3 or more children |
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What did Amato and Keith find in children and divorce study?
|
-have lower well-being and lower adjustment
-more likely to have behavioral problems -had lower educational attainment -Effects were not large overall and were larger in studies conducted earlier or outside of U.S. |
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Why is there a negative effect on children and divorce?
|
-Parental stress
-Economic hardship -Parental conflict -children exhibit lower well-being before the actual divorce -the more post-marital conflict the lower the child’s well-being -children of highly conflicted, in-tact marriages have lower well-being than children of divorce, on average -from fighting before the divorce -the more post marital conflict, the more the children's well being at stake |
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What are the affects of divorce and finances?
|
-Divorce disproportionately affects women and children
-Disposable income of former husbands increases slightly -Disposable income of former wives drops 40% -Children -90% live with mothers Inadequate child support/alimony |
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|
What is Tashiro and Frazier's study on break-ups?
|
-92 undergraduates who had experienced a break in past nine months
-reported 5 positive changes after breakup: -Person positives: more self-confident, I can be strong; it’s okay to cry -Other positives: I now know what I want -Relational positives: I learned relationship skills; learned not to jump in too quickly -Environment positives: back to friends; can concentrate more on school; family and friends will approve next time |
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|
What are some stresses and strains in relationships?
|
1) Hurt Feelings
2) Ostracism 3) Jealousy 4) Deception and Lying 5) Betrayal 6) Forgiveness |
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What is relational evaluation?
|
-the degree to which a relationship is considered to be valuable, important and close
-the outcome of relational evaluation is either: Acceptance or Rejection -but not all or nothing; it varies on a continuum |
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What are the degrees of acceptance and rejection?
|
1) Maximal inclusion
2) active inclusion 3) Passive inclusion 4) Ambivalence: -others do not care if we are included 5) Passive Exclusion 6) Active exclusion 7) Maximal exclusion |
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|
What is Maximal inclusion
Active inclusion and Passive inclusion? |
Maximal:
-others go out of way to interact Active: -others welcome us but do not seek us Passive inclusion: -others allw us to be included |
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What is Passive Exclusion
Active exclusion and Maximal exclusion? |
Passive exclusion
-others ignore us but do nto avoid us Active exclusion -others avoid us, but tolerate us as necessary maximal exclusion -others banish, send away, or abandon |
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What do our emotional reactions to acceptance and rejection depend on?
|
a) how much we want to be accepted by those others
b) just what their acceptance or rejection of us mean -we feel hurt when the relational evaluations we perceive from others are lower than we wish they were |
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|
What was Buckley, Winkel and Leary's study on acceptance and rejection?
|
-Participants instructed to talk about themselves to another over intercom system
-received approval ratings via computer that was supposed to track with their talking -Consistent acceptance -Consistent rejection -increasing rejection -Individuals in increasing rejection condition felt worst- sad, angry, and hurt |
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What is Ostracism?
|
-specific form of rejection where people are ignored or given the "cold shoulder" by others around them
Common: -67% of people report doing this to a love one -75% report being on the receiving end of this type of treatment |
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What are the consequences of Ostracism?
|
-more impulsive
-more selfish -perform more poorly on intelligence tests -make poorer, more self defeating choices -are poorer estimators of time |
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So after someone experiences ostracism, what are the ways they respond?
|
1) attempt to meet relational needs-> prosocial thoughts and behaviors
2) attempts for control and recognition-> antisocial thoughts and behaviors |
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|
What is ostracism in childhood related to?
|
-feelings of shame
-lacked social support -employed maladaptive coping strategies -suffered from PTSD in adulthood |
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|
What are the stats on infidelity?
|
-"in the past 12 months, how many sex partners have you had?"
Those reporting only 1 -married 95% -never-married, currently cohabiting 75% -divorced, currently cohabiting: 82% -single: 64% Reports of any infidelity in married people -men: 22% -women: 12% |
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|
What blend of emotions is jealousy?
|
-anger, sadness and fear
hurt, angry, fearful! |
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What is envy?
|
wanting to possess an object
(person or thing) (tangible or intangible) -that belongs to another person |
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What is jealousy?
|
reaction to perceived threats to a valued relationship from a rival (real or imagined; person or thing)
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What is reactive jealousy?
|
jealousy when one becomes aware of threat (realistic) to the relationship
|
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What is suspicious jealousy?
|
jealousy without any realistic threat to the relationship
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Who is likely to be highly jealous?
|
Arousability:
-people who get more physiologically aroused in general react more to jealous situations -measure chronic jealousy in self-report scale -low self-esteem/mate value -insecure attachment Traditional Gender roles: -macho men and feminine women, increased jealousy |
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What relationship factors contribute to high jealousy?
|
-the more dependent you are on the relationship, the more jealousy you are likely to feel
-the higher your partner's mate value, the more jealousy you are likely to feel -feelings of inadequacy in the relationship increases likelihood of jealousy: -doubt in how much partner wants/needs one -doubt in ability to satisfy partner's needs -perceived mismatch in mate value -valuing sexual exclusivity when partner strays increases experience of jealousy |
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|
How is attachment and jealousy related according to sharpsteen and kirkpatrick?
|
-jealousy, at least in part, reflects perceived threats to attachment relationships
-attachment style may predict individual differences in the experience and expression of jealousy -researchers used the three category system: -secure, anxious/ambivalent, avoidant Results: -anxious/ambivalents reported significantly more jealousy than secures -avoidants scored in the middle |
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What emotions are experienced during jealousy episodes?
|
secures:
Anger higher than sadness or fear Anxious: Highest levels of all three emotions Avoidants: higher levels of sadness and fear than securely attached |
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|
What and who makes us jealous?
|
Evolutionary Explanation: Based on the paternity uncertainty and differential investment hypotheses.
-Men uncertain of paternity and evolution favored men who were sensitive to sexual infidelity. (paternity uncertainty) -Women invest more in parenting (9-month) and evolution favored women who were more sensitive to threats of loss of investment from mate. (differential investment) |
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|
What is the double-shot hypothesis from DeSteno and Salovey's study?
|
To the extent that people think emotional infidelity implies the likelihood of sexual infidelity, but not vice versa, they will report that emotional infidelity is more distressing.
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|
What are the sex differences in beliefs about co-occurence of sexual and emotional infidelity?
|
-men more likely to think that, for women, sex implies love
-women more likely to think that for men, love implies sex -explanation for why women are more likely to think emotional infidelity is worse than sexual infidelity and men more likely to think sexual infidelity is worse |
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|
How do you overcome suspicious jealousy?
|
Reframe situation
Is your jealousy about: -perception, insecurities? -not actual threat Focus on self-reliance -staying cool: -not getting angry, embarrassed Self bolstering -be nice to yourself, give yourself credit |
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|
What are everyday occurrences for deception and lying?
|
-happens everyday, we create impressions we know are false
-outright lying -conceal information -divert attention -half-truths -1/4 of reported lies are prosocial white lies 1 out of 3 things we say is a lie |
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|
What is betrayal?
|
-violation of trust and caring
-people with tendency to betray are less trusting, less happy, more maladjusted and more lonely |
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|
What is forgiveness?
|
-decision to give up your perceived or actual right to get even, hold in debt, someone who has wronged you
-don't retaliate -secure people more able to forgive -it's good for both you and partner -apology increases the likelihood of forgiveness |
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|
According to Whisman, Dixon, and Johnson what are the most common problems reported in therapy?
|
-Communication
-Power struggle -Unrealistic expectations -Lack of loving feelings -serious individual problems then: -sex -solving problems -demonstrations of affection -money management and finances -children |
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|
In the study, what are the most damaging problems?
|
-Lack of loving feelings
-communication -power struggles -unrealistic expectations -serious individual problems -physical abuse -extramarital affairs -alcoholism -incest -other addictive behaviors |
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|
What are the most difficult to treat?
|
-Lack of loving feelings
-power struggles -serious individual problems -communication -unrealistic expectations -alcoholism -extramarital affairs -physical abuse -other addictive behaviors -incest |
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|
What is the problems with all three characteristics?
-most common problems, most damaging problems, most difficult problems to treat |
-the couple waits too long before seeking therapy
-might have a maladaptive way for coping, and it's harder to get rid of it if that's how they deal with it for so long -an acute event usually triggers and magnifies it |
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|
What is the speaker-listener technique?
|
-use an object to indicate speaker privilege
-speaker has the "floor" - floor is shared with turn taking -no problem solving..yet. the point is to talk things out clearly and effectively -speaker:describe yoru thoughts, concerns feelings in terms of "i" -listener:paraphrase what speaker is saying to make sure you understand partner |
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|
What are the theoretical approaches to couples therapy?
|
Psychodynamic model
systems model: behavioral models emotion models |
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|
What is the psychodynamic model?
|
emphasize the role of unconscious forces in how partners perceive one another's behaviors
-emphasize how a person's very early expereinces with a primary caregiver result in unconscious psychological processes which, in cadulthood, can form the basis for misunderstanding bewteen partners, uncontained negative emotions, and thwarted attempts at intimacy |
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|
What is the systems model?
|
emphasize the rules that govern and constrain the exchange of behaviors
Emphasizes the typically unspoken rules and beliefs that govern repetitive patterns of interaction between partners Therapeutic goal: to understand the dynamic balance or equilibrium that maintains the relationship stable and change the rules or “system” if need be |
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|
What is the behavioral models?
|
emphasize the rewarding and punishing properties of exchanged behaviors and their associated cognitions
|
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|
What is the emotion model?
|
emphasize the ways in which different affective exchanges can inhibit and promote intimate bonds
-aim to change relationships by creating new ways for partners to experience themselves and each other -therapeutic goal: to create 'bonds' rather than the 'bargains' by shaping new cycles of responsiveness and accessibility |
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|
What is behavioral models couples therapy?
|
-distress between partners arises because they are
1) insufficiently rewarding to one another 2) engage in behaviors that promote, rather than contain or resolve, differing goals and desires Principles of learning: -negative reinforcement: removal of an aversive stimulus -positive reinforcement: introduction of positive consequence |
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|
What is the Traditional behavioral model?
|
Therapeutic goal:
-change specific behaviors that partners find troubling or aversive Functional analysis: -collecting information from the couple to develop testable hypotheses about the context that precedes the unwanted behaviors and the events that happen immediately after behaviors |
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|
What is the Spouse observation checklist?
|
Did behavior occur in previous 24 hours
-affection: we held each other; spouse greeted me affectionately when i came home -sex: we engaged in sexual intercourse; spouse rushed into sexual intercourse without foreplay -communication process: we had a constructive conversation about family management; spouse read a book or watched tv and wouldnt talked to me -coupling activities: we went out for an evening with friends; spouse was unpleasant to people we had over for company -checklist, not biased, very observable |
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|
What are the different phases for behavioral models couple therapy?
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Phase 1: behavior exchange
-providing practitioner with diagnostic information -info to generate a new positive experiences in relationship Phase 2: communication training -receive practical advice on how to listen to understand one another; talk productively -listen to develop a new understanding phase 3: problem solving training -couples use guidelines to learn to apply new communication skills to relationship problems |
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What is the cognitive behavioral couples therapy?
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-emphasizes the importance of mediating processes in couples relationships
-or unobserved psychological processes that surround the exchange of behaviors, including partner's thoughts and feelings -interpretation of behavior is as important as the objective of behavior Caroline almost never calls when she is going to be late; she can be insensitive that way.” might change to “Caroline has a crazy schedule at work, and it gets especially bad right at the end of the day when she has to settle her accounts. It’s tough on her, and the last thing she needs is me nagging her about it after she has been working for 8 hours. She agreed to call me from the parking lot on her way out of work, and that way we can figure out our dinner plans” sounding the brute facts … |
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What are the different cognitive elements?
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-selective attention
-attributions -expectancies -assumptions -standards |
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What is selective attention?
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for example, involves partners’ tendencies to focus on certain behaviors displayed by their mate while overlooking or ignoring others (“Thanks for making my coffee this morning!” versus “When you made my coffee this morning, you forgot to put in the milk!”).
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What are attributions
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are the interpretations that we make for the behaviors and events that we do notice (“You forgot to put milk in my coffee – did I forget to buy milk?” versus “You forgot to put milk in my coffee – I think you are overreacting to what I said about your mother at dinner last night!”).
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What are expectancies?
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are predictions about what the partner will do or about what will happen in the relationship in the future (“Maybe I should mention this to Kerry, he always has good ideas about solving random problems” versus “What’s the use in even talking to Jill about how I feel about the relationship? She will just blame me for our problems, like she always does”). Other cognitions are broader in nature and are not linked to specific events in relationships
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What are assumptions?
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for example, reflect beliefs about how relationships and people actually operate (e.g., “Men and women are more similar than different – they have the same basic needs, though they might have different ways of trying to satisfy them” versus “Men and women are inherently different; it’s a wonder we don’t argue even more than we do”).
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What are standards in relation to cognitive elements?
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in contrast, refer to the way relationships and partners should be (“Relationships should really be about give and take. The two people in a relationship really need to have a say – even if they disagree -- otherwise one feels alienated” versus “One partner – me – really needs to be in charge
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What is integrative behavioral couples therapy?
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-helps couples to see that it is beneficial to tolerate and even accept aspects of the partner and the relationship that are displeasing
-emphasis is put on offended partner’s capacity for accommodating mate’s behavior -Therapeutic goal: contingency-shaped behaviors that promote affectionate behaviors because partner actually feels affection for the partner and the mate responds naturally to this behavior with appreciation |
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What are the ways you can use integrative behavioral couples therapy?
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Empathic Joining
Unified Detachment Recognize Positive Aspects Role Play Negative Behaviors/Fake Negative Behaviors at Home Engage in self-care |
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What is empathetic joining?
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primary strategy for promoting acceptance. Neither partner is right or wrong, but the partners do differ, and they are not managing their differences well. Helping the partners see their problems as stemming from a kind of a dance or a reciprocated process to which both partners contribute takes the blame off any one person but emphasizes that both are responsible for improving the situation. This new formulation then sets the stage for partners to talk about their experiences at a deeper and more intimate level using words that have a softer rather than harder edge
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What is object relations couple therapy?
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object is taken to mean an internal representation that a person forms of the caregiver
Therapeutic goal: to weaken the harmful effects that projection, projective identification, and introjective identification have on the relationship |
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What are the different types of object relations for couples therapy?
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Introjection: the infant takes in negative experience with the caregiver
Repression: the infant copes with negative experience by repressing it and banishing it to the realm of the unconscious Projection: aspects of who we are and the early experiences we have had are transferred onto others |
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What are the types of systems model therapy?
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Quid pro quo: the bargaining arrangement that is a basic feature of intimate relationships
Feedback loops control interdependence Negative feedback: a deviation in system is dampened or attenuated; balance is restored Positive feedback: a deviation in system becomes amplified or exaggerated and system can become destabilized |
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How do you change the system?
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Helping couples redefine the problems
relabeling specific behaviors reframing problem so that they can be understood in a more positive and productive light Example: “When my husband is miserable I must do all I can to help him understand his feelings. His resistance means I have to push even harder.” New Rule: My husband has his own way of taking care of himself, and I can find small ways to support him and show I care. Interventions such as this are referred to as paradoxical interventions because, by doing ‘less of the same’, the wife was able to achieve more of an emotional connection to the partner by seeking less of an emotional reaction from him. |
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How well does therapy work?
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65% of treated couples improve in their relationship
35% of untreated couples achieve similar levels of improvements -no clear evidence that any one particular type of therapy is better than the other |
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What is the evidence that psychodynamic and systems models work?
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not much evidence
-not able to measure these as well |
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What is the evidence that behavioral and emotion focused therapies work over time?
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-trying to change behvaior can backfire
-may be defensive and resistant trying to get people to change just does not always work -older couples, emotionally disengaged couples, couples who abide by traditional gender roles -traditional behavioral treatments do improve couples' communication skills generally, they do not appear to change negative escalation cycles -emotion based treamtemnt models more promising results: associated with better relationship functioning over four years than those who receive behavioral couples therapy |
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How often does therapy fail to work?
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30% of those satisfied after treatment relapsed after two years
-may not have solved all the underlying problems 38% of couples recieving behavioral couples therapy had divorced in a 4 year follow up study |
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What is communication gone right?
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1) Active listening
2) Clarity 3) Keepn an open eye for your own biases 4) Responsiveness 5) Validation 6) Express feelings clearly and with specifics 7) Defuse negative affect reciprocity 8) Humor |
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What happens to love over time?
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-romantic love declines over time
--fantasy, novelty, and arousal decline -companionate love more stable over time -strong and steady companionate love in the first two years of marraige is neagtively correlated with divorce |
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What is the need to belong?
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human beings have a fundamental need to form and maintain close relationships
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