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42 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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Emotional Shock Wave
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The emotional response to a death felt throughtout the family system, produces stress and alters relationships even among emotionally removed family members
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What are Saunder's 7 Ps (pains)?
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PHYSICAL: physical pain, usually makes people angry so usually need meds to help make person comfortable
SPIRITUAL: spiritual concerns, member of clergy usually called to address this INTELLECTUAL: losing cognitive abilities (e.g. Alzheimers), person may feel a lot of agitation EMOTIONAL: family members may become depressed, anxious, withdrawn INTERPERSONAL: relationship problems become more prominent, old arguments come up FINANCIAL: person dying may be more worried about cost of dying, worrying BEAURUCRATIC: trying to figure out documents needed, calling insurance companies, logistics |
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What is the Hospice Program?
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It is a program used to help families deal with the death of a family member. They work on the 7 Ps with families. Also has follow ups after the death up to a year
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What are Kubler-Ross's 5 stages of dying?
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DENIAL: we lie to ourselves, we can't believe it
ANGER: get angry bc more manageable than sorrow (at world, at doc, ect) BARGAINING: can something be done at this point?, what if...?, try to figure out what to do to live longer DEPRESSION: when news really sinks in, start giving up and family has hard time with this ACCEPTANCE: person comes to resolution, ties up lose ends, good for them and their survivors |
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What are the family tasks in response to a death? (4)
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1. Shared acknowledgment of the reality of the death: (made easier by open communication, children and vulnerable family members questions need to be answered directly and not withheld or avoided- or this will inhibit resolution
2. Shared experience of the pain of grief: tolerance of a wide range of emotions, acceptance of family members grief and pain- when certain feelings are prohibited this may lead to symptomatic behavior, physical heath problems, or psychological symptoms 3. Reorganization of the family system: reorganization of basic tasks-maintenance, identity, boundaries, ect, role of deceased need to be reassigned in order for family to carry on-problems if no one takes on the role or if a wrong person takes on role Reinvestment in other relationships and life pursuits: eventual ability to reinvest in other relationships and life pursuits-this is successful adaptation, family must do this eventually in order to move on |
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What does family adjustment depend on? (5) (6 in book)
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1. The nature of the death: anticipated vs unexpected, reasonf for death- these affect amt of stress family will encounter. Unexpected more stressful-grief will be greater although also a lot of stress with prolonged illness. Suicide and AIDS are stigmitized so family will keep to themselves and they may not receive as much support.
2. Person's position in the family: the person's functional role and the degree of emotional dependence the family had on individual- a more central person will be harder 3.History of dealing with losses: how previous losses were dealt with- "victims" vs "survivors", not dealing with previous losses will create pile-up 4. Timing in life cycle: the age and generational position- older taken as natural while younger is harder 5. Ethnicity/Religion: these things influence how family will grieve, this includes rituals, openness, length of mourning, beliefs of what happens after death, and roles of men and women- well defined rituals may help deal with death, absense of these will increase vulnerability -(in book) Openness and adaptation: well differentiated families are better able to deal with death and function well, they will be able to deal with all the emotions. Absence of openness mean rigid patterns and death will not be easily accepted, will be hard to share feelings |
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What is unrecognized or unsanctioned grief?
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grief that exists even though society does not recognize one's need, right, or capacity to grieve
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What is anticipatory grief?
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grief that starts before person dies (ex long term illness
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Is it possible to have mixed emotions about death?
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Yes. sometimes grief and relief (bc person is no longer suffering)
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What do you do for those in grief?
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just be there, you don't have to fix them or make their emotions go away, let them be open
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What does family adjustment depend on? (5) (6 in book)
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1. The nature of the death: anticipated vs unexpected, reasonf for death- these affect amt of stress family will encounter. Unexpected more stressful-grief will be greater although also a lot of stress with prolonged illness. Suicide and AIDS are stigmitized so family will keep to themselves and they may not receive as much support.
2. Person's position in the family: the person's functional role and the degree of emotional dependence the family had on individual- a more central person will be harder 3.History of dealing with losses: how previous losses were dealt with- "victims" vs "survivors", not dealing with previous losses will create pile-up 4. Timing in life cycle: the age and generational position- older taken as natural while younger is harder 5. Ethnicity/Religion: these things influence how family will grieve, this includes rituals, openness, length of mourning, beliefs of what happens after death, and roles of men and women- well defined rituals may help deal with death, absense of these will increase vulnerability -(in book) Openness and adaptation: well differentiated families are better able to deal with death and function well, they will be able to deal with all the emotions. Absence of openness mean rigid patterns and death will not be easily accepted, will be hard to share feelings |
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What is unrecognized or unsanctioned grief?
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grief that exists even though society does not recognize one's need, right, or capacity to grieve
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What is anticipatory grief?
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grief that starts before person dies (ex long term illness
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Is it possible to have mixed emotions about death?
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Yes. sometimes grief and relief (bc person is no longer suffering)
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What do you do for those in grief?
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just be there, you don't have to fix them or make their emotions go away, let them be open
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What is a Social Death?
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closing someone off because you don't know what to say to them
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What are some ways of dealing with unresolved issues?
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- Have a memorial
- Write a letter to deceased - empty chair (tell them what you would have wanted to say) |
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What are some unsactioned griefs?
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-ex- partners
-AIDS -miscarriages -pets -extramarital partners -friends |
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How do employers handle grief?
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Not well, expect person to be better in a few days and get back to work- not addressed well
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What are some problems associated with death during teenage years? (both if teenager dies or parent dies while having a teenager)
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If teenager dies family, especially parents may feel guilty for not monitering them more carefully
IF parent then teenager may have problems individuating- bc they wanted to be individuals they will feel guilty, may close off feelings and instead act out, steal, do drugs, have sex, misbehave |
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What are some problems associated with death during the transition to marriage?
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If parent dies it may be less traumatic than before marriage bc of spouse support (and if the person was individuated)
OR if person is pulled back into family to be caretaker spouse may be resentful -Miscarriages, stillbirths, and abortions are especially difficult (more for women, men want to move on) couple may blame each other for death |
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What are some problems associated with death of young children?
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death of child is usually most difficult to deal with, parents may blame themselves, turn against each other, blame each other
-some couples become closer while others seperate/divorce(70-90%) |
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what is an Anniversary Reaction?
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an emotional reliving of a person's death each year around the time the death occurred
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What is Replacement Role?
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when a child takes the role of another child who died, or when a child is affirmed for traits that remind the parents of the deceased child
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What are some problems associated with death in middle adulthood?
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-grief depends largely on the type of rel the parent and child had
-First time adult is completely grown up- if they deal well with the death they become more independent, complete, and self-directed -Sibling nostalgia-become sentimental towards each other |
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What are some problems associated with death in later life?
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-usually death of a spouse
-men usually remarry, -women usually remain single and live alone, feel loss of support, loss of income |
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What are the rates of divorce?
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Just under %50 in their first marriages
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What is the rate of children with divorced parents?
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40%
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What % of mothers and fathers remarry?
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75% of mothers remarry
80% of fathers remarry (among African American and Hispanics lower) |
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Describe Levinger's Model (3 things) that lead to the decision to divorce?
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- Attraction level (level of attraction to partner
-Alternatives (more likely to break up if there are alternatives for you, especially when younger) -Barriers (number of barriers to leaving (religion, kids, financial dep, property, etc) |
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What is the Process of Disaffection?
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1. In the beginning have "little fictions" (we think only good things about our partner), later see flaws
2. In the Beginning Phase: have psychological breakup (mental note of all their faults but try to make them improve or change), still optimistic here 3. Middle Phase: Become disappointed and only see the bad stuff, this is when you weigh costs vs benefits but are no longer optimistic 4. End Phase: Hopelessness, decide to leave but don't know how, this is stage when many seek counseling but its too late |
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What is marital distress? (book)
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when one or both partners in a relationship believe the relationship suffers from serious, long-standing problems that threaten the stability of the relationship
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What are the 6 stations of Divorce?
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1. Emotional: process of disatisfaction, insults, pull away, expect the worst, no communication (some people go through this and never divorce)
2. Legal: legal status changes through court, divide property, sometimes breif 3. Economic: similar to legal bc things are divided up, usually woman's standard of living goes down while father's goes up, child support negotiation 4. Coparental: if there are children then need to figure out where they will go and how to share custody- this may cause conflict on parents part 5. Community: "breaking up" with coworkers, friends, neighbors, in-laws 6. Psychic: 5-10 years to complete and some people never do- once this happens person feels complete as an ind, has put things in perspective, no longer angry, feel whole again |
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What are the different types of arragements for children after divorce? (4)
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1. Sole custody: one parent assumes all responsibility for the children and other parent recieves visitation rights
2. Split custody: children are divided 3. Joint custody: both parents have rights and responsibilities to the child, child alternates between 2 homes (not as beneficial to child) |
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What does children's adjustment to divorce depend on? (4)
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1. Degree of conflict prior to divorce (if home was full of confict then divorce may be better), if child didn't see conflict then harder
2. Amount of financial hardship: depends on child support 3. Actions of divorcing couple: coalitions make it harder, especially if put in the middle 4. Adjustment of custodial parent: if they adjust well then better for child |
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Is the divorce itself the hardest part for the child?
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No it is the way that it happens, if child is able to maintain a close relationship with BOTH parents then they will be better off
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What are short term consequences for a child with divorced parents in the 1st year? (4)
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1. Grief over loss (boys may act out and girl more withdrawn
2. Reduced standard of living: 3. Adjustments to transitions: esp if moving 4. Relief from conflict |
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What are long term consequences for a child of divorced parents? (3)
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1. Greater anxiety about marriage
2. Unrealistically high expectations for a partner (look for perfection) 3. Economic/occupational impact (tied to financial status) |
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What are positive consequences of divorce for children? (Beyond Deficit Model)
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- 80% live well adjusted lives
- have better relationship with custodial parent (when single parent) - More communication with mothers - more democratic parenting |
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How do you take care of yourself after divorce?
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- Take care of own mental health
- Allow children to grieve (let them love and go with other parent) - Try to have a conflict-free relationship with other parent - have a happy, comfortable, healthy home environment |
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What is the impact of Repartnering?
- is this easy for kids? - stepparents? |
-Remarriage more difficult because kids have to adjust to new rules and changes in parenting (becomes more authoritarian)
- disagreement between roles- Stepparents may want to become parents right away and child wants them to be friend (stepparent may fall into role prematurely) |
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When are parents the most involved and least involved after divorce?
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- Most involved when neither has remarried
- Least involved when father has remarried and mother has not |
