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17 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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1. Story Teller
Comic Host Story -- "in fact, the best thing to do, right off the bat, is to go to my favorite book -- (enter) |
EMILY T:
"Oh, I am SO honored to have you endorse my new book!" |
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2. Story
(sighs) Hello Emily. |
(Emily pulls a copy of a shiny hardback from her bag)
"How to win Petty Arguments and Influence Misdemeanors is climbing to the top of the charts!" |
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3. Story
This actually wasn't the book I -- |
(Preens) "Imagine that: Me, Emily Toast, Expert Etiquette Advice Columnist, perched at the top of the metaphorical heap. Weep delicate tears, Ann Flanders & Dear Crabby!"
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4. Story
I'm sure they are. Congratulations on your success, Ms. Toast, but if you don't mind, we were in the middle of -- |
"Preparing to find a new shirt, I hope. Those (stripes, colors, etc.) are DREADFUL"
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5. Story
Actually, I was about to help (name) address a difficult situation with someone who's upset him. |
"An enemy! Oh, how fabulous. I shall assist."
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6. Story
Really, we don't need -- (Emily grabs Host and hauls hims forward) |
"I shall now tutor you in the three key principles of facing an enemy, so clearly outlined in my bestselling book. Would you call this villain in your life a mere "enemy", or one who has acquired the status of "nemesis"?"
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7. Story
Emily, (name) is in rather a vulnerable position over this situation with Roger and I think -- |
"Silence sir! Can't you see you are hindering an intervention?"
(storyteller gives up & steps back) "Enemy or nemesis?" |
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8. Comic
Um, nemesis. |
(Emily rubs hands together)
"Delightful! Now for Principle One." (pulls two water nerf balls out of bag & hands one to comic) "Please exit and enter again. You shall be this Roger person and I shall be you". |
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9. (mildly confused, COMIC heads offstage)
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"Be quick about it! Revenge calls for a high level of physical training and nerves of steel." (comic enters and Emily hurls a water ball at her) "Principal One -- Do unto others before they do unto you!"
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10. Comic
"Hey!" ( throws his ball at Emily and she ducks neatly, hitting Storyteller behind her) |
"Principal Two: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So duck"
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11. Comic
"What if Roger ducks?" |
"I am YOU and you are ROGER. PLEASE keep your mental processes properly ordered. Now for Principal Three"
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12. Comic
"What is it?" |
"Master the tools of the trade!
Namely ..." (reaches into bag and pulls out a cream pie and a banana peel) "...cream pies and banana peels. Revenge, after all, is sweet" |
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13. Comic
"Can I be you while you be me being Roger??" |
"You dare to suggest you can handle this better than I, the much-lauded, award-winning etiquette expert?"
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14. Comic
"Er, no" |
"Here, hold this. (hands comic the pie) Now walk toward me. If on the street you happen upon your nemesis carrying a cream pie, it is vital that your expertise with the necessary tools out-masters his. Like so. (drops banana peel on floor in front of her and flips the pie into his face)
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15. Comic
"Mmffffllflllllwhup!" (takes a step, blinded, "slips" on banana peel and falls down) |
"Do articulate better, please. We can't understand you!"
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16. Comic
"Blarg!" (tries to get pie out of eyes and mouth) |
"I must say, I'm disappointed. I thought you had the potential to be a star student, but you have a decided lack of appreciation for the finer points of my tutelage."
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17. Storyteller
"Look, Emily. I think it's time --" |
(Emily turns on Storyteller)
"And you! You certainly don't deserve a signed copy of my literary masterpiece! (snatches it away) I'm packing my principles and proceeding to more appreciative pastures!" (grabs bag and exits in a huff) |
