Selfie

Front 1

"Thank you for today!" She says.

Back 1

(Tyler comes on.) I'm not gonna lie, Tyler is pretty awesome. Question: Which of the following is his best feature? His arms. His abs. His gluteus. Answer: All of the above!

Front 2

( A selfie of Tyler projects on the screen.)

Back 2

What's The secret? No prob. Push-ups, crunches, squats. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks Tyler is so awesome. He could wallpaper of the entire school with detention slips. But what is teachers fail to recognize is that detention is bad, bad is sexy, and all roads lead to awesome.

Front 3

(Projection of red and yellow leaves.)

Back 3

Leaves change.

Front 4

It's ugly that comes from within.

Back 4

Hey, duck face.

Front 5

What?

Back 5

Quack.

Front 6

What are you talking about?

Back 6

Quack, quack, quack.

Front 7

Stop it!

Back 7

Nice picture Daffy.

Front 8

Don't call me that.

Back 8

You prefer Donald?

Front 9

My name is Nicole.

Back 9

Hiya, toots. (As Donald Duck.)

Front 10

Why are you being so mean?

Back 10

You're despicable! (As Daffy Duck.)

Front 11

165 pounds, ready set-

Back 11

"Go get your own girlfriend", I said. And that's when I pounded his face in. You shoulda seen it. It was beautiful. He was on the pavement, crying like the big old baby he is. When he finally got up, there was cravel all caked up in his bloody cheek. What can I say? Some artist paint with a brush. I paint with a fist.

Front 12

That was crazy.

Back 12

Totally.

Front 13

How many stitches?

Back 13

Sixteen.

Front 14

That's all?

Back 14

I know. Not even close to my record.

Front 15

But I saw his face. That was 50 stitches, at least?

Back 15

That's what I thought?

Front 16

And you?

Back 16

You kiddin? Stitches are for crybabies.

Front 17

Yeah.

Back 17

You wanna know the best part?

Front 18

What?

Back 18

I never even seen that girl before. I just said he was hitting on my girlfriend so I'd have a reason to deck him.

Front 19

Since when do you need a reason?

Back 19

I just didn't like the way he looked at me, ya know?

Front 20

Totally.

Back 20

Hey Nic. You know what?

Front 21

What?

Back 21

(Puts his arm around her.) Your not so bad since you dropped the whole good girl thing.

Front 22

Thanks.

Back 22

It never suited you anyway.

Front 23

No it didn't. (Projection fades.)

Back 23

So what if I got suspended? Like that's supposed to be a punishment? Girls love it when guys get in trouble. Plus, give me extra time to hit the gym and work on my-

Front 24

Mitten return

Back 24

Snowballs attack.

Front 25

She inserted herself in my life the same way a splinter inserts itself under a fingernail.

Back 25

Is she nice at least?

Front 26

The other day she took down all my stuff in the living room and put up these ugly porcelain angels.

Back 26

Smash'em. I would.

Front 27

That's your answer to everything.

Back 27

Because it works.

Front 28

She actually told me I should get down on my knees and pray for forgiveness.

Back 28

Gross.

Front 29

If it happens again, she'll be the one in need of a prayer.

Back 29

Tell your Dad.

Front 30

His brain is no longer making decisions.

Back 30

Then what is he waiting for? Show them angels who's boss.

Front 31

I just want to crawl into a hole and-

Back 31

Dying for your art is what makes an artist immortal. And that was my plan. The fight to end all fights.

Front 32

Tyler? Are you awake?

Back 32

Laura?

Front 33

Yeah. Laura.

Back 33

Am I in the hospital?

Front 34

Yes.

Back 34

Good.

Front 35

No, not good.

Back 35

Great?

Front 36

Terrible. You almost died.

Back 36

I did?

Front 37

Yeah.

Back 37

Sweet. How many stitches?

Front 38

I don't know. A lot. Your leg is a mess.

Back 38

Not me. The other guy.

Front 39

You mean the other guys?

Back 39

There was more than one?

Front 40

Yeah. You're lucky to be alive.

Back 40

Laura?

Front 41

Yeah?

Back 41

Is that you?

Front 42

Yes.

Back 42

Am I in the hospital?

Front 43

Yes. You're in the hospital.

Back 43

6 weeks I was there. Then 6 more in juvenile-

Front 44

Spring.

Back 44

Ice cracks.

Front 45

The only person you can look out for is yourself.

Back 45

I just wanted someone to be proud of me. When you feel bad about youself, you look for ways to feel good about yourself. First it was my body, which turned out awesome, if I do say so myself. But that wasn't enough.

Front 46

(Mug shot projected.)

Back 46

My corrections officer says I'm making progess. They've got all kinds of programs in here. Basketball. Carpentry. Painting even. And funny enough, I'm good at it. I just don't think anybody will notice. Too little, too late.

Front 47

It's about the picture you have of yourself.

Back 47

Summer.

Front 48

But right now, right now is enough. He is thankful.

Back 48

Tyler is still awesome. Even more awesome since he traded his fist for a paintbrush. He made his sister proud.