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80 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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Love is good for happiness. |
Used 222 college students in Illinois. They reported their positive and negative moods over a 51 day period. Also had to rate their own friendships, family and romantic relationships for their quality, as well as having friends and peers rate the participant’s relationships for quality The very happy S’s rate their own relationships higher than the very unhappy They also spend more time with others than the unhappy S’s. |
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Flourishing relationships: |
ones that are good and continue to get better due to the effort of both partners The partners have to take steps to always engage in “minding behaviors.” |
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Harvey's minding behaviors 1. KNowing and being known |
(1) knowing and being known. Each partner must want to know the other person’s hopes, dreams, fears, vulnerabilities and uncertainties. Each must balance expressing their hopes and dreams with learning about the other person’s. Proper minding involves listening to your partner and asking them to tell you about themselves at each stage. The opposite is when partners are out of step in seeking to know and being known. |
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Harvey's minding behaviors 2. making relationship- enhancing attributions for behaviors |
Attribute the good things that happen to enduring character dispositions of your partner (e.g., intelligence, kindness), and bad things to external circumstances or to ephemeral factors (e.g., tiredness). The opposite is to always interpret the partner’s behavior in the worst possible way. |
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harvey's minding behaviors 3. acceptance and respect for what is discovered about a partner |
We have to accept strengths and weaknesses of our partners. The opposite is when the knowledge gained in the knowing process is not used, or used to hurt the other person. The person is disrespected, or abused. |
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Harvey's minding behaviors 4.maintaining reciprocity |
Both partners engage in the minding process. The opposite is when one partner is not motivated to engage in the overall minding process, or only does so sporadically. |
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Harvey's minding behaviors 5. continuity in minding |
It takes a long time to establish minding and the process must continue throughout the relationship. People come to develop a sense of being special and appreciated. |
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John Gottman "the love doctor" |
Just by examining brief interactions between partners, he can predict with over 90% accuracy which will succeed and which couples will get divorced. - |
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Gottman things to avoid |
CRITICISM If you have a problem with something your partner did, register a complaint. Don’t attack them by criticizing them. CONTEMPT Contempt is when people talk down to their partner rather than treating them as an equal. DEFENSIVENESS Some people get defensive when a problem arises. Sometimes this can be avoided by not criticizing the person. STONEWALLING: When a person refuses to cooperate or to answer the other person when they raise an issue. It makes the person feel like their needs don’t matter. |
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WHY WE SHOULD FOSTER GRATITUDE AND APPRECIATION |
(1) Motivates further positive behavior in your partner. (2) Prevents feelings of contempt, and creates an environment where feelings of security are the norm. |
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Gottman: things to do |
1. devote more time per week to their marriage, and are devoted to making it stronger. carry out particular activities that include the following: PARTINGS Before these couples say goodbye every morning, they find out what their partner is going to do that day. - It shows a deep concern and interest in the other person. REUNIONS - At the end of each day, they have a low-stress reunion conversation. - It provides a firm, positive base for dealing with other issues. AFFECTION - This includes touching, holding, and kissing. ONE - The couples go out on a date, just the two of them, in a relaxed atmosphere, where they can talk and enjoy each other’s company. ADMIRATION - Every day, genuine affection and appreciation is given at least once. |
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Positive relationships |
Need to listen better to create flourishing relationships. Practice responsive and attentive listening. I.e., rather than being distracted when you are talking with your partner, show that you are paying attention. Summarize what they say and sympathize with them, rather than simply preparing your response |
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Gable and Reis (2001) have done important studies on capitalization. |
It makes us feel good, and also increases satisfaction with the relationship. Why? By telling others, we relive the original experience. This happens even more strongly when our partner responds enthusiastically. |
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Gable and Reis (2001) |
- Part of what it takes to be happy is to surround ourselves with people that are willing to amplify positive events so that we get more out of them. - In pathological friendships, people are envious of good things that happen to us, or find some way of undermining our happiness as a result of some success |
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Gable and Reis (2001) |
identify four ways partners respond to positive news: Active/Constructive, Passive/Constructive, Active/Destructive, and Passive/Destructive ACTIVE PASSIVE DIMENSION The strength of the reaction by the partner to the positive news. CONSTRUCTIVE/ DESTRUCTIVE DIMENSION whether their reaction is positive or negative |
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Positive illusions and happy relationships |
When we marry, we make ourselves vulnerable To feel happy and secure in the face of such vulnerability, people need to believe that their relationship really is a good one, and that their partner can be counted on to be caring and responsive across time and situations. In most relationships a realistic assessment of the partner would not warrant such a strong conviction. |
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How do people in satisfying relationships resolve this tension between having doubts about their partner, and their desire for a feeling of certainty and security? |
They overstate the case for commitment. When they are asked what ideal characteristics are in a partner, they tend to project those onto their partners. People see virtues that they wish to see, which others don’t necessarily see. Motivated perception: you see what you want to see in a certain person or situation not what is actually there |
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Murray, Holmes, Dolderman & Griffin (2000) |
They assessed how partners rate each other in positive and negative dimensions, and compared these ratings to a close friend - people rated themselves and their partners along 22 dimensions, some positive and some negative - |
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Murray, Holmes, Dolderman & Griffin (2000) RESULTS |
Results Those in more stable, satisfying relationships were more likely to have positively distorted perceptions of their partners compared to ratings made by a friend. Less satisfied spouses perceived less virtue in their partners than their friend perceived Moreover, people in satisfying relationships were also likely to have partners that saw themselves in a more positive light than their friends saw them - could be biased b/c friends don't see what happens behind closed doors |
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Murray, Holmes, Dolderman & Griffin (2000) SUMMARY |
For people to be happy in a relationship they need to believe that they are in the right relationship with the right person. Sustaining this belief in the face of partners that sometimes disappoint requires a protective buffer. This comes from seeing virtues that aren’t necessarily there. This filter allows people to see things in a more positive light, therefore maintaining the relationship in the face of difficulties that inevitably arise |
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Need for optimism |
Optimistic people make permanent and pervasive explanations of good events, and they make temporary and local explanations of bad events. When their partner does something wrong, optimistic people will explain this using temporary and local explanations of events. Seligman: It isn’t essential for both people in the relationship to be optimistic. One partner can be less optimistic. What doesn’t work is two pessimists because it can lead to a downward spiral of negative affect. |
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Need a categorization scheme for strengths and virtues. |
Allows for an understanding of mental wellness Makes possible the development of strategies to enhance strengths Peterson and Seligman (2004), Character Strengths and Virtues Handbook. |
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Why is it important to know your strengths? |
(1) It can help us to make decisions about what we want to do with our lives. E.g., If you are not strong on leadership, you should probably not opt for a career path where that is going to be an essential requirement. (2) We can play to our strengths and avoid our weakness. We should seek to develop our strengths, and find situations where we can use them. |
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To develop catalog of human strengths, Seligman first identified universal human virtues. |
Virtues: things that are valued by people and are different ways of defining what is meant by “good character. 6 virtues (1) Wisdom knowledge, (2) Courage, (3) Love and humanity, (4) Justice, (5) Temperance, (6) spirituality and transcendence |
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Strengths: |
affective, behavioral or cognitive abilities by which the virtues are attained and displayed. (1) Strengths are valued in their own right. (2) When people display strengths, they inspire admiration on the part of others. (3) There are many social institutions centered around the development of strengths. E.g., High School student councils are intended to foster citizenship and leadership, and Little League teams are designed to foster teamwork and loyalty. |
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Values in Action (VIA) framework for classifying strengths |
There are 24 strengths allowing for the development and expression of the 6 virtues. |
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(I) Wisdom and knowledge. Cognitive strengths pertaining to the acquisition and use of knowledge. |
1. Ingenuity and practical intelligence. Thinking of novel ways to do things. 2. Curiosity. Curious people like ambiguity and complexity, and the challenges that come from them. 3. Open-mindedness and critical thinking. Thinking things through and examining different sides of an issue. 4. Love of learning. Mastering new skills, topics and bodies of knowledge. 5. Social and emotional intelligence. Understanding how others work emotionally, intellectually, and in terms of their unique personalities. 6. Perspective (wisdom). Being able to offer wise counsel to others. |
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(II) Courage. Emotional strengths that involve the exercise of the will to accomplish goals in the face of external and internal opposition (fighting against things like your own fear). |
7. Bravery and valor. Bravery = not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. Valor = the willingness to defend unpopular stances, and to display moral courage. 8. Perseverance and diligence. Finishing what one starts; persisting despite obstacles. 9. Integrity and genuineness. Speaking the truth and living life in an authentic way |
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(III) Humanity and love. Strengths involving tending and befriending others. |
10. Loving and allowing oneself to be loved. Valuing close relationships with others, in particular those in which caring is reciprocated. 11. Kindness and generosity. Doing favors and good deeds for others. Helping them, taking care of them, even if you don’t know them well. |
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(IV) Justice. Civic strengths that underlie healthy community life. |
12. Citizenship/duty/teamwork/loyalty. Working well as a member of a group or team; being loyal to a group. 13. Fairness and equity. Treating all people the same according to standards of fairness and justice. 14. Leadership. Encouraging a group of which one is a member to get things |
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(V) Temperance. It is the moderate expression of desires. |
15. Humility/modesty. Letting one’s accomplishments speak for themselves. 16. Prudence/ discretion. Being careful about one’s choices. Not taking undue risks. 17. Self-control. Being disciplined; keeping emotions, impulses and actions under control. |
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(VI) Transcendence. Forges connections to the larger universe – something bigger than yourself, and providing meaning. |
18. Appreciation of beauty and excellence. Being able to experience awe and wonder and an appreciation of excellence in skilled performances across various domains of life. 19. Gratitude. Being aware of and thankful for the good things that happen. 20. Hope/optimism/future-mindedness. Expecting the best in the future and working to achieve it. 21. Playfulness and humor. Liking to laugh and bring smiles to other people. Transcendence 22.Spirituality/senseofpurpose/religiousness. Being in touch with a higher purpose and meaning in the universe. 23. Forgiveness and mercy. Forgiving those who do us wrong. 24. Zest/Passion/Vitality. Approaching life with excitement and energy; not doing things halfheartedly. |
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Signature strengths: Ones we “own,” not just what we’re good at. |
(1) A sense of ownership and authenticity (you don’t feel aliented, you need to feel like yourself) (2) A feeling of excitement while displaying it. (you enjoy displaying the strength) (3) A rapid learning curve as the strength is first practiced. (pick up talent more quickly) (4) Continuous learning of new ways to enact the strength and a yearning to find ways to use it (look for many opportunities to display this trait) (5) Invigoration rather than exhaustion while |
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LEC 12 |
LEC 12 |
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Happiness at Work |
Happiness depends on being able to use your signature strengths in the majority of the things that you do in your daily life. It is important to enjoy your work, and if you do, it can contribute significantly to your life satisfaction. - You re-craft your work so that you deploy your strengths and virtues every day. |
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Bellah, Madsen, Sullivan, Swidler, and Tipton (1985) |
Jobs People who have jobs are only interested in the material benefits from work. The work is not an end in itself, but instead is a means that allows individuals to get the resources they need to enjoy their time away from work - Their major interests are not expressed through their work.
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careers |
They have a personal investment in their work. They mark achievements not only through monetary gain, but through advancement within the organization at work. This brings higher social standing, power, and self- esteem
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callings |
They find their work inseparable from their life. They work not for financial gain or advancement, but for the fulfillment it brings to them. They see their work as being socially valuable, involving activities that may, but need not be, pleasurable. |
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Wrzesniewski, McCauley, Rozin, and Schwartz (1997) |
They found that people neatly fit into one of the three categories. - They rated very highly their identification with one of the paragraphs, and other two were rated very low - |
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Wrzesniewski, McCauley, Rozin, and Schwartz (1997) RESULTS |
Likelihood of identifying with their work as a calling was associated with greater income, more schooling, greater social standing and OCCUPATIONAL AND SOCIAL STATUS compared to jobs and careers also related to greater life satisfaction and satisfaction with their work. it is essential for an occupation to be high status and provide more income in order for it to be viewed as a Calling. |
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Job Crafting Wrzesniewski and Dutton (2001). |
the actions employees take to shape mold and redefine their jobs
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job crafters actively shape |
What their job is physically, by changing a job’s tasks. What their job is cognitively, by changing the way that they think about their work What their job is relationally, by changing the interactions and relationships they have with others at work. |
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why engage in job crafting |
(1) People do so to assert some control over their jobs and avoid alienation from their work. I.e., crafting is done so as to make the job something more meaningful to themselves. (2) People do so to create a positive self- image in the workplace. (3) They do so from the need for human connection. |
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- How people craft their work reflects their work orientation – as a job, career or calling. |
job orientations focus mainly on tasks done for pay and may limit their tasks to the bare minimum while still meeting the requirements of the job. Those with career orientations likely craft their work so they interact with those who are more powerful than them, and engage in high-visibility tasks good for the arganization. Those with callings may pursue tasks even though there is no recognized glory or reward |
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Dutton, Debebe, and Wrzersniewski (2000) |
- hospital cleaners Passive group: They did the bare minimum of necessary tasks, and avoided interactions with other staff members as much as possible. They also describe the skills of their job as being very low Active group: Altered their tasks to include additional ones, and also sought out interactions with patients, visitors and others in the unit. |
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LEC 13 |
LEC 13 |
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Mindfulness |
often We obsess about the past or worry about the future. Much of our existence is lived away from the present q We fail to notice what is going on around us, including opportunities for pleasure and employment |
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ellen langer |
When we carry out actions, we often do so mindlessly, without much conscious involvement. - “would you mind if I cut in front of you?” NO “would you mind if I cut in front of you? I have something to copy.” YES |
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Mindless activities |
- seek them out as leisure E.g., TV. The mindless pursuit of meaningless goals and activities → people feeling bored and empty cant be happy if you're mindless |
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Langer on mindfulness |
Mindfulness = an active search for an awareness of novelty. (less likely to take life for granted) mindlessness; passively zoning out to everyday life. |
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how to increase mindfulness according to langer |
1) overcoming desire to reduce uncertainty in our daily lives (2) Overriding the tendency to engage in automatic behavior (3) Engaging less frequently in evaluations and judgments of self, others, and situations. |
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1. reducing uncertainty |
Cultivating mindfulness puts us in tune with the fact that reality is constantly in flux. - When we become mindful, we become aware of the uncertainty present in any moment - Uncertainty = what provides opportunities. |
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how some reduce uncertainty |
by limiting the challenges to which they expose themselves. They don’t take risks with new challenges, and thus don’t develop new skills. This makes it less likely that they experience the enjoyment that comes from engaging in a flow activity |
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2. avoiding automatic behaviors |
Automatic behaviors provide a quick response to familiar situations The less automatic behavior may at times be the best response If you are mindful, you can decide what is the best way to respond at the moment - It increases flexibility in responses so they become more contextually appropriate. |
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3. being less judgemental |
Nothing is intrinsically good or bad. That is a judgment that we add to the event Sometimes these judgments can cripple us from enjoying what we are doing. Also can prevent us from developing the skills that we want to develop. |
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how to be less judgemental |
develop mindfulness, we become more emotionally open to whatever the moment has in store - This does not mean that we do not correct our performance. - There is a difference between correcting your performance and being judgemental E.g., “I should play the open E string with by ring finger instead of with my middle finger” is different from “I suck, and I should probably give up the guitar!” |
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mindfulness through meditation |
When a thought, feeling, emotion or sensation comes up and captures your attention, observe it and label it simply as what it is If it is a thought, label it “thought”. If it is a sound, label it “sound” and observe it fading. Then go back to your breath |
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Goldstein and Kornfield (1987): INSIGHT MEDITATION |
“In every moment of mindfulness, whatever the object is, whether it is the breath, sensations or sounds, thoughts or emotions, in every moment of simply noting and noticing what’s there, there is no reactivity in the mind. There’s no clinging and no condemning, just an accepting awareness of what’s present” (p. 20). |
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The moral path |
It is difficult to grow in mindfulness and to be happy if one is not virtuous. |
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Buddhism outlines five areas of basic morality that lead to a conscious life. |
(1) Refrain from killing. Develop a reverence and caring for life in all its forms. (2) Refrain from stealing. Don’t take that which does not belong to you, and don’t be greedy. The moral path (3) Refrain from false speech. - Speak wisely, responsibly, and appropriately.Beware of what effects your words have on others around you. (4) Refrain from sexual misconduct. - Don’t act out sexual desires in a way that is hurtful to self and others. (5) Avoid misusing intoxicants. - Drugs and alcohol can make the mind cloudy and dull. They have after-effects that are unpleasant. |
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practicing the 5 |
can help us to become more conscious and mindful in our daily actions - Misconduct leads to misery in the long run. |
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the happiest place on earth |
denmark comes on top
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Inglehart and Rabier (1986) |
examined how different European countries ranked in happiness 1973-1983. |
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world values study group |
worldwide project that studies sociocultural and political change. conducted by a network of social scientists at leading universities all around world. One study looked at subjective well-being in 41 countries, using three measures of happiness. Another scale asked about the fgrequency of positive affect and pleasant emotions |
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Positive and negative affect were used to create a measure of hedonic balance. |
Hedonic balance: subtracted the negativ affect scores from the positive affect scores Switzerland came out on top in terms of life satisfaction, but other Scandinavian countries also did fairly well. The USA was 9th on the list in terms of overall life satisfaction. most ppl report being happy and satisfied with life
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World Values Survey 1995-2007 |
Top 10: n Denmark n Puerto Rico n Colombia n Iceland n North Ireland n Ireland n Switzerland n Netherlands n Canada n Austria n USA ranked 16th! |
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bottom 10 |
n Russia n Albania |
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methodological issues |
limitations with the Satisfaction With Life (SWL) scale, and similar measures. They are reflective and retrospective measures of well- being. They can produce results that are inconsistent with what you get using on-line measures such as experimental sampling A person’s current mood can affect how they answer the SWL scales. |
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addressing methodological issues |
researchers have used additional measures. |
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Balatsky and Diener (1993) |
comparing American and Russian students. russian's = sadder used an event memory task |
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Balatsky and Diener (1993) |
- asked to recall as many good memories then as many bad memories Russians were able to recall fewer positive events than american students and more negative ones |
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Oettingen and Seligman (1990) |
Compared East Berliners and West Berliners shortly after the Berlin Wall came down. coded facial expression They found West Berliners smiled more, exhibited a more upright and open posture. They also laughed more consistent with the World Values Survey that found West Germans have a higher SWL than East Germans. |
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Explaining national differences Diener, Diener and Diener (1995) |
One of the most reliable predictors of the happiness of nations is economic wealth. The wealth of nations is often expressed using the Gross Domestic Product. |
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Individualism and collectivism Hofstede (1980) |
proposed this distinction to describe important differences between Eastern and Western cultures. |
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collectivism |
people are expected to subordinate their own goals to the goals of some collective- a stable in-group, like a family, a tribe, or a band of people. There is a high level of cohesion, conformity and cooperation within groups such as families, and there is a concern for group harmony. A person is largely defined by their roles and relationships with others. have less freedom of expression and often subordinate their private feelings to the group. |
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individualism |
In individualist societies, people are more loosely attached to groups, and there is less comformity, cooperation, and social support Put greater emphasis on a person’s internal feelings, thoughts and choices, and the individual is afforded relatively more freedom. |
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D D &D cultural dimensions relate to subjective well- being |
People report being more satisfied with their lives in more individualistic countries. But, the most individualistic countries are not necessarily the happiest E.g., USA, which received a score of 10 by Triandis, is not the happiest place on Earth. Denmark and Sweden got scores of 8 and 9, on individualism, respectively. |
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Veenhoven (2000) |
He studied the relationship between individualism and happiness, taking into account wealth. split countries into rich and poor countries that are prosperous, the correlations between individualism and happiness = + countries that are poor, the correlations btwn individualism and happiness = -
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Veenhoven (2000) FINDINGS |
In prosperous countries, the freedom of individualism is most conducive to happiness. People have the resources and all they need is the freedom to do what they want When countries are poor, the mutual help and social support of collectivism is best for happiness. |
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Individualism and the importance of happiness |
Happiness also appears to be a more salient concept for individualists. E.g., World Value Survey II asked people if they had never thought about whether they were happy or satisfied with their lives. The percentage of people who report never having thought about whether they were happy or satisfies with their lives is greater in collectivistic societies. |
