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12 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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3 basis components of close relationships
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Attachment, affection, love
Fulfillment of needs Need to belong is most important one Interdependence & influence It is not one sided..characterized by interdpendence and influence |
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5 pieces of evidence for close relationships as fundamental
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Evolutionary basis
Evidence..humans have existed in societies since whenever, beneficial for survival to function in groups Universal Humans seeking close relationships is also universal..what relationships look like and how they uphold..similar across cultures (essential dynamics)..some animals too Shapes our thinking Need to belong shapes the way we think (look at circles..where does my sense of self overlap with the other)..we think about close others very similarly to how we think about ourselves Satiable Can be sated..hunger is a need that can be sated (if hungry, eat until hungry no more, then stop).sated your need for hunger..need to belong can also be satisfied Long-term harm We suffer when the need is not fulfilled..being chronically hungry does damage..same for being chronically alone ecreased ability to self regulate too, with physical pain…predicts earlier mortality too..and associations with lack of social connections, and antisocial behaviors like crime |
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Attachment style
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Early attachments and interactions with caregivers --> lifelong relationships
Our pattern of how we interact with close others..rooted in our earliest relationships |
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3 types of attachment styles
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Secure
Feel confident in relationships..feel like can get as close as you want to get..don’t think going to scare off Anxious Afraid of being abandoned..afraid partner doesn’t feel same way about you Avoidant Don’t want to get too close..shut them out |
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3 features of attachment style
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Stable
Relatively stable, across relationships and situations Early experiences Loss or other issues can have an impact on adult relationships Affect intimate relationships Affect how you behave..like touching partners less if avoidant |
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Exchange relationship
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Concerned with equity
Between who? People expect strict reciprocity Common among business associates or among strangers and acquaintances Tend to be more short termed relationship..marriage not on strict exchange relationship Want to be repaid immediately We feel exploited when not repaid Keep track of the give and take Helping them out doesn’t really affect our mood to help exchange relationship partners |
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Communal relationship
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Between who?
Between friends or loved ones..most important thing is responding to eachother’s needs over time..dont expect to be paid back for what you did..simply expect partner will be there for you when you need him/her, and vice versa People expect mutual responsiveness Tend to be long term Don’t like to be repaid immediately (cheapens it)..and don’t feel exploited if not repaid immediately Don’t necessarily keep track It feels good to help communal relationship partner..should be clear how a married couple might not have a strict thing of reciprocity to the exact point…ongoing expectation of mutual responsiveness to need |
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Investment model
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Rewards are the good things you get out of relationship
Costs are the bad things about your relationships (time, money, arguments) Compare to comparison level (amount of reward and cost you expect from a relationship) on top line..some people think relationships should be really hard..or really easy (comparison level) S If better than expect, then satisfied…if worse, then not satisfied…if reward to cost ratio is better than comparison level, feel satisfied, and vice versa Furthermore, unhappy people might stay together and happy might break up…comparison level of alternatives factors in (can I do better…expectation of rewards and costs of somebody else)..it will predict less commitment if think can do better Also investments: an investment is something you put into the relationship that you cannot get back/wipe clean..can be time, effort, kids together, house, dog, joint bank…the more investment, more committed |
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Equity theory
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Ratio of rewards to costs…just that
Says that you will stay in an equitable relationship and will leave an unequitable relationship Benefits to contributions is equal to both of you..doesnt matter how large and small..but needs to be equal put in as much as you get out |
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Sternberg's triangle of love
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Love is the one that is hard to nail down to study
Think about the different components that characterize feelings of love…broken down Passion, commitment and intimacy Passion drives sexual attraction and romance (this is the motivational aspect of love) Intimacy is more of the emotional or cognitive aspect (has to do with liking your partner and wanting to be close to them..and feeling secure and comfortable with them) Commitment is the behavioral aspect..decision to maintain the loving relationship and to make sacrifices for loving relationship Look at how components interact…7 kinds of love based on if include 1-3 components Spark has faded in companionate love Psychologists believe that consummate love is very rare..perfect love..equal parts…but many people feel that they have consummate love (maybe new marriage is closest) |
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Romantic/Passionate Love to companionate love
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Romantic/Passionate Love
Intense longing and arousal Emotionally intense and physiologically arousing Found in all kinds of cultures..147/166 cultures have some form of this prevalent in their culture 17% of Americans said get married without passion (49 in India)…does not last for entirety of committed..transitions to companionate Companionate Love Feelings of intimacy and affection High self-disclosure This person knows everything about you Key is smooth transition! Best predictor of long term relationship..can move on triangle |
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Kurdek reading
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Homosexual and hetero
Similarities: arguments and compromises..the content is similar Satisfaction: one is not more satisfied than the other (similar levels of satisfaction)…based on similar stuff..and how changes over time is similar They define relationship in same way too Different: housework isnt gendered..no man chores and woman chores…no schema to divide housework..more equal in this case Less stable than married heterosexual relationships Better at resolving fights (better conflict resolution)..maybe due to lack of gender roles Biggest difference is level of support from friends and family What does this tell us about relationships?: shed light on how different or not different these relationships are…what does it tell us about relationships in general? Why beneficial to do this to understand in general? Shows us how things happen in relationships..interesting points of natural comparison..gives us a sense of what causes certain relationship dynamic aspects as they do..this not only illuminates relationship styles, but also in general |
