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27 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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Curtains Open |
Girls, we're going to be famous. |
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We're going to bore little boys around the world. |
Diaval, my nails. What I don't get is why I don't get my own movie. You three each get separate films, but I'm just the generic bad guy in every film. |
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You're the villian and no one likes you, no offense. |
I'm just as graceful and fabulous as the rest of you. |
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Which just isn't aesthetically appealing |
Whatever. At least I won't have to face all the critics when they ask you about all those plot holes. |
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What? |
I didn't say anything. |
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Yeah, you did. |
Look, all I'm saying is the Grimm Siblings may or may not have overlooked some important plot details. |
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Oh yeah? Like What? You got something to say about my story? |
Well, why did Prince Charming have to force every maiden in the kingdom to try on your shoe? Didn't he remember your face? |
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He just thinks I have pretty feet! Look. |
Okay, okay! So he thought your feet were pretty enough to search the entire kingdom for, but not your face? *Boop nose* |
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You're right! |
And where was your fairy godmother all along anyway? She was kind of a jerk honestly. She abandoned you until you were all grown up and then you never saw her again? |
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She's a really busy fairy godmother. |
Same goes for you and your twelve fairy godmothers. Where were they when you were sleeping for umm a hundred years? |
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But sleeping comes so naturally to me. I could do it with my eyes closed. |
But for a hundred years? |
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It was all part of the curse. Which, may I remind you, was set upon me when you were sulking because you weren't invited to my birthday party? |
Okay it was a hundred years ago. Can't you just let it go already? |
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I love that song! |
And isn't it a little creepy that you fell in love with a man 100 years younger than you? |
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Love is not constrained by the bonds of time, Maleficent! You wouldn't know. |
I wouldn't? |
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No really, you wouldn't. |
Nails!!! |
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It is a little bit. Almost as creepy as the whole Cinderella foot thing. |
But not as creepy as how gullible snow white is. |
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Why would you say that? |
The dwarves warned you three times not to trust anyone who came to the door yet you fell for my trick three times. |
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Thor would never say something like this to me. |
And Cinderella, you're supposed to be an elegant and graceful princess, right? |
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Duh |
Don't you think it was a little bit cruel and vicious and generally ungraceful to have people cutting off parts of their toes in your story, just so they could fit in a shoe? |
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You know? I don't know. I kinda always liked that part. |
But violence is never the answer!! |
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It's a good revenge. |
People will never think of you as a graceful princess if that happens in your story. |
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Grace! *Snorts* |
And Aurora, how come your story doesn't have a moral? Everyone knows Cinderella worked hard and was nice and that's why she got a prince. |
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I know. Get it for me. |
And everyone knows Snow White was gorgeous and kind to animals and that's why she got her prince. |
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Oh I guess he was a mockingbird. |
But no one is going to believe that if you sleep for a hundred years you'll get a prince too. |
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Do you have a problem? |
I'm just pointing out what Hansel and Gretel wrote. Don't you think they were just a little bit lazy in their writings? I've discovered more plot holes in the last five minutes than you guys have ever noticed! |
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You're just jealous you don't have your own movie. |
No, you're just jealous because my story line doesn't have any plot holes. |
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.......Birds can't even talk! |
See? Gullible. |
