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9 Cards in this Set

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  • Back
The Profession by Walter Wykes © 1998
EUGENE: Hey! Don't touch that! That's my orange! MINE!!!
[EUGENE wrenches his orange away from the VAGRANT.]
Sorry. I'm sorry. I ... I don't mean to be stingy. I'm sure you're very hungry, but I can't allow you to eat this orange. It's just that ... well, it's ... it's the key to everything! I know that doesn't seem to make much sense. I don't understand it quite yet myself. But one has to have faith, you know, that ... well, that everything will come clear in the end.
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It ... it must be nice to be a halfwit. A vagrant, I mean. A wanderer. You don't have to contemplate. If you're hungry, you eat. Everything's basic. Primitive. Nothing to confuse the issue. No one to push you around ... tell you what to do. Maybe ... maybe I should join you!
g
[EUGENE chuckles. No response from the VAGRANT.]
Hey ... maybe ... maybe I should! They'd never find me then! And if they did ... well, they wouldn't recognize me! I'll bet people don't even give you a second look, do they?! They probably cross the street when they see you coming! That's it! That's the answer! I'll be an outcast! What do you think?
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[The VAGRANT snorts.]
What's so funny? I could be an outcast! I ... I admit I don't have much experience, but I've always thought of myself as living on the fringes, you know. I'm an outlaw at heart! Once, when I was five or six ... don't tell anyone, but ... I once stole a whole handful of comic books from a retarded boy that lived down the street! Lifted them right under his nose!
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All right, I ... I took them back the next day, but it's the thought that counts!
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You're not impressed.
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I guess maybe a ... a true outcast only takes what he needs to survive. Is that it? You probably have your own code of conduct. Like the samurai. But I ... I could learn! You could teach me!
[The VAGRANT snorts.]
I think I'd make a respectable outcast!
g
All right, what's ... what's wrong with me? Is it the shoes? You're right–shoes might draw attention! Shoes are much too mainstream for me anyway! I've never really liked them! They chafe your feet! Give you blisters!
[EUGENE removes his shoes.]
There!
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[The VAGRANT stares at EUGENE's feet.]
I ... I suppose I should get rid of the socks too?
[He does.]
There! You see–I'm willing to make sacrifices. I don't ask for special treatment. I just want to be a regular outcast like everyone else.
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