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30 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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why we marry: macro level
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to raise family, companionship, satisfy emotional needs, social pressure to conform, physical attraction
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why we marry: micro
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economic levcels, social movement and wars, pressure to break free, demographic and legal factors
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marriage contracts
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very common amoung rich
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marriage contracts: legality
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such contracts are not alsays binding, states vary on interpretations, depends upon location of couple when cdontract called upon
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marriage contracts: extreme cases
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some contraacts cocer areas such as birth control, num of children, duties and chores, sex can be performed
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utilitarian marriage types (based on convenience)
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conflict-habituated, deviatalized marriage, passive congenial
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conflict habituated
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both fight, but no divorce
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devitalized marriage
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obligation takes place of joy
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passive congenial
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emphasized practicality
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intrinsic marriage types ( based on inherent reward)
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vital marriage, total marriage
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viral marriage
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lives closely intertwined
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total marriage
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total involvement in all spheres of each others lives
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romantic marriage
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lasting and passionate, can become to self-absorbed
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rescue marriage
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confort provided for paast unhappiness, provides forum for repllaying past traumas
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compasionate marriage
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reflects a core of friendship, may degenerate into a bro sis relationship
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traditional marriage
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clear division of role and responsibilities, thei children may be only thing in common
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success and happiness in marriage: his and her marriage
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men and women experience marriage differently, identity barganing, readjusting to eachother
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success and happiness: marriage and health
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marriage generally loead to a longer and happier life, however married women are found to be less healthy
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success and happiness: happiness in marriage
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men report less happiness with onset of mid age, for women in correlated with discontent with role expectations
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recipe for happiness
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partners must share positive attitudes and care for eachother, must see marriage as an enduring long term commitment, believe that providing emotional support is more important than love
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warning signs of relationship problems
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criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling
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criticism
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attacking someones personality or character rather that a specific behavior. often starts with complaining bad when it cecomes overriding focus of communication of won't let go of past transgressions
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contempt
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intention to insult and psychologically abuse partner, verbal and nonverbal messages. includes negative thoughts of partner, focal point of the relationship becomes abuse
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defensiveness
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both feel victimized bgy other and neither willing to take responsibiloity for setting things right, both feel inncoent, denying responsibility, making excuses
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stonewalling
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go from poor communication to shutting down, conveys a message fo disapproval distance and smugness. very upsetting for speaker expecially if male
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good communication
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ask for information, get inside the others head, use caring cmmunication, don't criticize the other, keep it honest, make it kind, be specific, become allies, expression appreciation, share your hopes, use nonverbal communication to express emotions
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barriers to communication
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not listening, not responding to the issue, blaming and arguing, using scapegoats, using coercion or contempt, using the silent treatment
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self disclosure- benifits
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esteem support, infromation support, instrumental support, motivational support
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womens speech
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talk is often an end in itself, effort to establoish equality, affirmative and supportive, emotional
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mens speech
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instrumentality, talk is a means to an end, control, conversation dominance, abstract terms
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