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64 Cards in this Set

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  • Back
What is Capitalization?
The process of informing another person about the occurrence of a personal positive event and thereby deriving additional benefits from it.
Two studies were done on capitalization. Study 1) P's filled out questionnaire at end of day of event and mood. What is link between type of response and mood? Study 2) wore buzzer and wrote how feel at times throughout day. What is link between expressive person and mood.
Study 1) responses that were expressive i.e. celebrate, seek social contact...were associated with better moods then those who continued on with day.
Study 2) Highly expressive people experienced more positivity then less expressive people.
What are the four types of responses to capitalizing? Give examples of each? Which ones are associated with relationship quality and satisfaction?
1)Active Constructive response: OMG thats wonderful...
2)Passive Constructive response: says little but knows partenr is happy.
3) Passive Destructive response: don't pay much attention, ignores partner.
Active Destructive response: Well thats not good...
Only active Constructive responses are related to satisfied relationships, more intimacy, and increased well-being.
What are the gender differences in responsiveness and relationship satisfaction.
If the wife is more responsive then the husband will experienced increased satisfaction.
If husband is more responsive didn't change wifes satisfaction.
Both genders rated as active constructive were seen by their partner as more responsive.
Do perceptions of the partner during support and capitalizing interactions independently predict relationship satisfaction over time?
Capitalization and support responses were INDEPENDENTLY associated with changes in relationship satisfaction.

As we see our partner’s respond more negatively to support and capitalization attempts, they became less satisfied with their relationship.
Does attachment security predict perceptions of capitalization?
As anxiety and avoidance increase, perceptions of capitalization responses become more negative – concurrently and over time.
Do personal characteristics (attachment anxiety and avoidance) and dyadic processes (capitalization and support perceptions) predict changes in relationship satisfaction?
Yes they both do...
What is more important support or how a partner responds to our good news?
Support is important, but how a partner responds to our good news may also strengthen our relationships? BOTH are important.
Can good capitalization compensate for “bad” support?
Yes it can help.
Is capitalization most important in early phases of a relationship?
Need more evidence for long term, but seems to be helpful in short-term.
How is capitalization in a relationship related to self-expansion?
Because are so close your partners good fortune is seen in part your own and is therefore expanding.
What emotion is thought to be associated with capitalization?
What were finding about sharing negative events with others? Similar to capitalization?
No evidence that sharing negative events rendered those evetns any more salient. Maybe that letting go of bad by talking.
Why do people form close emotional relationships?
Attachment Theory
Self-Expansion Theory
What affects the quality and duration of romantic relationships?
1) Individual differences in attachment.
2) Opportunities for self-expansion in relationships.
3) Capitalization.
4) Social Support.
The two type of Relationship Maintenance Strategies are behavioral and cognitive. What are the Cognitive strategies 5? And give examples of each.
1) Positive construal biases (changing way you see things in the Relationship/Partner - not his fault).
2) Optimistic predictions (our relationship will last).
3) Reconstructive Memory biases (reconstruct past as worse, so feel better about present).
4) Perceptions of relationship superiority (our relationship is the best).
5) Derogation of attractive alternatives (no one is better then my partner).
Interpretations of partner behaviour can be relationship enhancing or not. What are the 3 dimensions of attribution that can enhance or detract from a relationship? What is the dimension of a negative and positive behavior?
Internal versus external (character vs situation)
Stable versus unstable (will it change or not)
Global versus specific (you always do this or one time)

Negative- internal, stable, global.
Positive- external, unstable, specific.
What are positive illusions and what can positive illusions of a partners behavior lead to?
Perceiving virtue in the partner beyond the reality - Motivated misunderstanding.

1) Increases in relationship satisfaction and stability.
2) Partner feels good.
3) Fosters attachment security.
3) Partner fulfilling prophecy: our partners may “live up” to our idealized image of them.
Does behaviour (support) mediate the link between positive illusions and marital satisfaction? Gender??
The effect of positive illusions on relationship satisfaction IS mediated by support behaviour, at least for women.

H & W Positive Illusions--Wives Adaptive Support behavior (mediated link)--Wives’ Increased Marital satisfaction.
What Optimistic predictions do we hold about our relationships? Who is the best at predicting relationship longevity? Why did roommates and parents do better?
We think our relationships are likely to last long.

Roommates in one sample, and parents in another. But we are the worst at predicting.

1) We were susceptible to positive biases.
2) selectively focus on positive information and discount negative.
3) focus on how difficult is it to finding another partner.
$) Others considered more diagnostic information – quality of relationship – more balanced.
Which friends are the best a predicting relationship outcomes? Why?
Friends of the female. Hear about relationship problems most.
What is the Retrospective Memory Bias? Over time, how does this bias change? How does satisfaction effect the bias? How does bias relate to happiness later on?
Individuals selectively recall and reinterpret past relationship events to make bad partner behaviors seem better, and think relationship is getting better or not worse.
Over first 10 years of marriage very biased, over next 10 years biases drops.
Greater dissatisfaction, the greater the bias.
If have bias will be happier over the next 10 years than people who didn't have bias.
What is the Process of reconstructive memory in relation to the reconstructive memory bias?
1. Assess current standing
(How happy am I now?).
2. Invoke implicit theory of change.
• (I believe that relationships change/improve
over time).
3. Based on 1 and 2, infer past standing
• (Our relationship is better than ever before).
Dangers of excessive positive illusions or biases?
Premature commitments – positive and negative are independent but we base decisions on the positive.
Vulnerability to disappointments/ disillusionment.
Not dealing with important issues.
Potentially unsettling to partner because partner wants you to reflect who he/she thinks he/she is.
3 Potential values of realistic appraisals?
1)Helps us change when we are realistic.
2)Helps us make rational decisions.
3)Fulfill self-confirmation needs.
What is the Self-verification theory? When do we develop self-concepts? What happens when self-verification is violated? When do we seek self-verification? what was result of study where they measured commitment and self-verification? Who felt most and lest committed?
The desire for self-verification:
1)We want partners to see us as we see ourselves.
2)Self-concepts are developed through interactions in previous relationships.
3)Violations of self-concept viewed as a threat intra and interpersonal functionings, if we don't know ourselves, what do we know (existential concerns).
4)we seek confirmation whether positive or negative.
5)P's with positive self-concept felt more committed to partner who saw them positively. P's with negative self-concept felt more committed to partner who see them negatively. P's who were mismatched felt least committed.
To be known (self-verification) or to be adored (positive illusions)? When do they win?
Where self-enhancement wins
What is the relationship between couples who possess rosier hopes of an ideal partner and perceived partner virtue?
Those P's who have rosier ideal partner hopes see actual partner as better.
What is the relationship between perceived control and optimism and relationship satisfaction.
More control and optimism the more satisfied say you are.
What is relationship between attaching special meaning to virtues and relationship well-being. What about denying faults? What about linking virtues to faults?
Attaching special meaning to virtues of partners increases relationship well-being. Partners who deny each others faults had greater stability over time.
Partners who link virtues to faults had greater stability over time.
What is relationship between self-esteem and positive illusions?
P's with anxiety idealized partner less, and underestimate how much partner idealizes them because think they see them like see self. Low self-esteem people protect themselves.
What Do Newlyweds Argue About? How about over 4 years?
Men Women
Tempers,Moods Highest Highest
In-Laws High High
Communication High High
Money High High

H-NWD H–4 yrs W-NWD W–4yrs
How should we study conflict to
understand it?
To understand conflict, it was
necessary to observe it directly, among happy and unhappy couples.
Defining conflict?
– Participants in social interaction have goals.
– Goals may not be conscious, and they may be specific or general.
– Conflict arises when one person pursues his or her goals and in doing so interferes with the other person’s goals.
– This interference can be direct or indirect.
– Responses to this interference can vary in many ways.
Why was the initial focus on verbal rather than physical
1) Couples and families often downplay the importance of physical aggression.
2) Physical aggression is not easily observation.
3) The prevalence of physical aggression in intimate relationships was largely unknown in the 1960s and 1970s!
What are 3 communication concepts from John Gottman?
1) Harsh startup
2) Four Horsemen
– Criticism
– Contempt
– Defensiveness
– Stonewalling
3) Flooding
What are 6 examples of some Dirty Fighting Techniques? What is an example of each?
What is more important, what partners disagree about or how they do it? What is an important distinction in arguments?
HOW! Verbal content versus affect.
In terms of mind reading and disagreement, when can we discriminate happy and unhappy couples and when can we not? Reciprocation?
When dilivering mind reading and disagreements in neutral affect happy and unhappy couples act the same. When delivering mind reading and disagreement in negative affect then then unhappy couples reciprocate and happy couples don't.
What is relationship between happy and unhappy couples and complaining about general and specific things.
Happy specific, unhappy general.
When is negative reciprocity most common? How long do happy and unhappy couples take to leave negative exchanges? Is there a gender difference?
‘Negative reciprocity’ is common, especially among unhappy couples.
Unhappy couples take longer to exit negative exchanges.
Happy wives, in particular, seem to be able to follow partner negatives with neutral behaviors.
What is a Demand/Withdraw Pattern? Are there gender differences?
One partner pursues or demands
(change) in the relationship and the other withdraws or avoids.
No, it depends on whose gets to choose the topic discussed. When women choose, women demand and men withdraw, when men choose, men demand and women withdraw.
what is an alternative to experimental research that is unethical to induce conflict? How does it work? It is experimental?
Passive Longitudinal Studies. Measure conflict management at one time and examine relation to marital satisfaction at later point.
No Correlational.
Many studies say modest relationship between observed negative and later marital satisfaction. Does this mean there is no association? What is problem with these longitudinal studies on marital conflict?

What have some studies done to improve this flaw? Might there be a problem with this? So what do these new studies say about relationship satisfaction and conflict? Low and high Affect and skills combining in diff ways?? Is there gender diff?
1)Collect data from couples who have been married for several years.
2)Conflict observed may already be a consequence of prior marital distress.

Longitudinal Study of Newlyweds. Newlyweds might live together before and distress already exists.
When wife displays low positive affect and low positive skills husbands satisfaction declines the most. Same for wife when husband displays this combo. But when any other combo like high positive skill and low positive affect there is no diff in satisfaction.
Should conflict management serve as the cornerstone for relationship interventions?
NO, social support can be more important then conflict management.
What is aversive control?
Ask partner to do something, they reply yes but don't do it. Ask them again more forcefully and they finally do it but being snappy while they do it.
What is a talk table? What is diff between happy and unhappy couples.
record what intended impact and actual impact is of a message and see who is getting wires crossed.
Both happy and unhappy intended message to be positive but actual impact in unhappy is negative and happy is positive.
Whats the difference between microanalytic (molecular) and Macroanalytic (molar) testing methods in conflict?
Molecular is talk table, specific data to infer theory. Molar is gender theory then set out to explore it.
What was found out about behavioral marital therapy?
only half couples improved, and of the half about a third went back to old pattern.
Can marital outcomes be predicted with 90% accuracy? What do we know about what causes divorce in short-term and long-term couples?
NO, not yet.
Short-term: physical aggression = divorce.
Long-term: absence of positive emotion = divorce.
What is relationship between wives stress hormones and divorce.
Good predictor, high levels = divorce.
Define Social Support? Does good support lead to satisfaction?
Dyadic process.
Requires action, communication.
Improving others ability to cope.
Difference between instrumental and emotional support.
In the move, what are the 3 things required to be able to give social support. How important did the lady see Social Support? Can Support be negative?
Skills- ability, know what to do.
Resources- emotional and cognitive.
Motivation- sense of responsibility.
Most important thing in relationship.
Yes it can be negative.
Is conflict the only cause of distress?
No Poor social support can cause distress too.
Give examples of positive and negative helpee and helper responses.
‘Helpee’ Codes
Positive- “I just feel so much better when I talk about
this with you”
Negative- “You have got to help me with this! Tell me
what to do!” or “You are really not doing much good for me here.”

‘Helper’ Codes
Positive- “OK, so tomorrow, when you see Jack, what are you going to ask him?” [Instrumental]
“I know this is hard for you -- you really loved that job
and it was hard to leave.” [Emotional]
Negative- “I doubt you’d be able to get past the first class.” or “Are we done talking about your weight problem? I really don’t see the problem here.”
Does social support behavior and conflict behavior predict independently on marital outcome. What is relationship between positive and negative support behaviors in helpee and helper and satisfaction later on? So is all support the same?
Yes, social support behavior seems to be more important then conflict behavior.
More negative and less positive helpee and helper behavior at beginning of relationship leads to greater distress later on.
No, difference between invisible and visible and imagined support.
What are the costs associated with receiving support? Invisible, visible, and imagined? What are costs with receiving support?
1)Invisible support behaviors promote adjustment to the stressor.
2)Visible or perceived support when actually receiving support leads to stress.
3)Imagined support leads to greatest stress because actually received none.

Think you will have to reciprocate.
Feel inadequate that need help.
Can burn out helper.
What is forgiveness? What are the two levels of forgiveness? Do you need them both?
-Becomes less motivated to think, feel, and behave negatively in regard to the offender.
-Doesn't have to include reconciliation.

-Silent forgiveness
intrapersonal only-feel it yourself.
-Hollow forgiveness
interpersonal only-Forgive other but don't mean it.
Forgiveness: 3 stage-phase model Gordon & Baucom (1998)?
1. Impact Stage-realization, can be angry.
2. Meaning Stage-understanding what happened.
3. Moving On Stage-let go of negative feelings.
What personal traits lead you to forgive more often 4.
1)Attachment security (i.e., low anxiety/low avoidance)
3)Low neuroticism
What is the relationship with forgiveness and relationship quality and commitment? What is causal relationship with commitment and forgiveness? How about Satisfaction and forgiveness?
1)Spouses who are more committed are more forgiving.
2)Couples who are more satisfied are more forgiving.

-Higher commitment leads to higher forgiveness.
-Runs both ways with satisfaction and forgiveness.
What is definition of social learning model? What does it posit is the key to marital success?
Spouses help each other with personal rather than marital problems.
Communication but support shows big impact too.
Is acceptance and accommodation similar to forgiveness? Is reunion or reconciliation similar?
No, they both can occur when the requirements of forgiveness have not been met. -Acceptance means not at fault.
-Accommodation means don't acknowledges others wrongdoing.
Is forgiveness an act or process? Intentional or not? Unconditional or not? Superordinate or not? Where does forgiveness manifest?? Does responsibility influence forgiveness?
A process.
Intentional- Unconditional- Superordinate.
Manifests in emotion, cognition, and behavior.
Yes, forgiving will be easier as responsibility decrease. Not intentional.